- 3 days ago
Category
🎈
FunTranscript
00:26You guys rolling there?
00:30Oh, guys, I've matured.
00:34You know, I'm learning a lot more.
00:35I'm feeling pretty smart, actually.
00:38And I'm not swearing nearly as much as I used to.
00:42I only get drunk on weekends now, and I'm growing dope, so...
00:46The whole documentary thing for me has been really good.
00:49Tomorrow I get married, so life doesn't get much better than this for Ricky.
00:52I just wish Julian stopped acting like a dick.
00:55It's pissing me off.
00:57Next message.
00:57Hey, Julian, it's Lucy.
01:00Sorry to bother you, but Ricky, you know, he has done nothing for the wedding.
01:05Nothing.
01:06And it's tomorrow.
01:07We don't have a priest.
01:08We don't have a place.
01:09And, I mean, at the very least, we should have some food.
01:11There's no food at all.
01:13You know, I want it to be nice and everything.
01:14I don't know what to do.
01:15Like, if you don't call me back, I think I'm going to just have to cancel the...
01:18Luce.
01:19Yeah.
01:20No.
01:21Lucy, calm down, alright?
01:22I was in the shower.
01:27I've got everything taken care of.
01:29Yes.
01:31Everything's taken care of.
01:34Alright.
01:36Alright.
01:36I promise.
01:38Okay.
01:38Bye-bye.
01:39Fuck.
02:06Bye-bye.
02:27You know, tomorrow's my big day, and I shouldn't have to worry about anything else.
02:30Julian's going to take care of it all, and so now I just have to focus on my stag app.
02:34And man's coming over to our place tonight to dance with his bum out.
02:38We're going to have a few drinks, a little special entertainer is going to come over and dance for us.
02:43And there's going to be a little bit of partying, just for the girls, you know what I'm saying?
02:48We're just doing a little bit of drinking.
02:50Julian's going to have a surprise stag party for Ricky tonight.
02:55Just working a buzz up, I can't wait to get loaded with those guys tonight.
02:58Yeah man, it's going to be like a huge party, and there's going to be lots of booze and liquor,
03:01and free food, and there's going to be strippers.
03:04That's going to be awesome.
03:05And Ricky's going to get drunk and puke, and end up in the drunk tank.
03:08And later on, there's going to be the wedding the next night too, and that's going to have food and
03:11booze too.
03:12And that's going to be awesome.
03:13There's going to be like a hundred people there.
03:15And hopefully they'll all be ladies, because it's all about ladies.
03:18It's all about ladies.
03:19Yeah man, Candy will bring some of our friends.
03:21She'll hook us up.
03:22Let's go get some more beer.
03:24Yeah, cool.
03:24Sorry, but you don't have what we're looking for.
03:27Yeah, I think Julian wants this more than anybody.
03:29You know, what better way to get Lucy, Trinity, and Ricky off his back so we can go off and
03:33have his new little relationship,
03:34and then marry them all off to each other.
03:36I think it's a great plan.
03:39And the thing is, it's amazing, it's scary how much you have in common.
03:44We've been spending a lot of free time together.
03:47It's great, he's awesome.
03:48Baby, what are you doing?
03:50I'm washing the truck.
03:51You don't got to be washing my truck.
03:52I like washing the truck.
03:54Come on, Cory and Trevor will get them dicks to do it.
03:56Come on.
04:01Oh, God.
04:07Julian finally called me.
04:08I guess he's basically taking care of everything.
04:09He's got a bunch of food and stuff, a couple of barbecues, there's music.
04:15You're going to answer that?
04:16It's Lucy.
04:20Hi, Julian.
04:22It's Trinity.
04:22I love you.
04:24That little girl thinks the world are you.
04:26You're like second dad to her.
04:28Yeah, she's a little angel.
04:30I just wish her mother would stop driving me crazy with all this wedding shit.
04:34I just want to be left alone.
04:38Yeah, I don't know if you want to be left alone, Julian.
04:44Just make sure you don't fuck around on Trinity.
04:48Make sure you're there for her, because I know what it's like.
04:52I don't know if your parents fucking leave on you, you know what I mean?
05:01One day they're there, and you wake up, and you're all by your fucking self for the rest of your
05:08fucking life.
05:10You're living in a fucking shed and wondering what the fuck happened to your parents.
05:18You okay, buddy?
05:20Yeah, I'm fine.
05:24I think about it.
05:24I think about it.
05:25It kind of pisses me off.
05:25Like, I can plan my own wedding.
05:29I'm not a total, complete idiot, all right?
05:30And if Julian thinks that he needs to babysit me like a little two-year-old kid or whatever, he
05:36doesn't.
05:36I'm not stupid.
05:37I can plan my own wedding, Julian, if you're watching this shit.
05:42Sorry, sweetie, I forgot I had a cigarette when I moved.
05:47Julian, it's Lucy.
05:48I got your message, finally.
05:50Thanks for calling so fast.
05:52Anyway, listen, don't give you that bullshit about not having any money for food.
05:55Like, there's no food, there's no wedding, and I don't care how you get it.
05:59And don't get those processed topics, get the old beef cunt.
06:01You know, if not for me, then can you do it for Trin?
06:03You know, I really thought you'd be able to help me out with this.
06:05Could you just call me back?
06:06Robberies are simple, it's all about firepower.
06:10If you have enough guns, it scares people, they freeze up, and they won't try to stop you.
06:14You know, in and out in two minutes, this is going to be a professional job.
06:18Listen up, boys.
06:20We need a truck.
06:22Hey, you got one.
06:23Oh, that's pretty smart, Corey.
06:25My truck, my license plate, me back in jail.
06:28That's real smart.
06:29We'll just jack one from the strip club.
06:31There's always trucks there.
06:32There you go.
06:33Smart one, Trev.
06:34I can take care of all the shopping carts.
06:38Checking over the carts for tonight have to be perfect.
06:41Can't be fucked up.
06:44First thing that can go on them is the wheels.
06:50That there was no fucking good.
06:51Bearing, they're gone.
06:53Might as well get rid of it right now.
07:03That's a keeper.
07:05That's a keeper.
07:06Everything has to be perfect.
07:07I can't let the boys down tonight.
07:08That's my specialty.
07:16I'm not stupid, you know, even though people sometimes say that I am.
07:20I'm not.
07:21And I know those guys have been meeting secretly with me all week, but how about those guys?
07:32Let's go.
07:33Open the fucking door.
07:34I'm burning the trailer down.
07:36Open up.
07:37I know you're in there.
07:40How's it going, Ricky?
07:41There's some best man you turn out to be, you dick.
07:45Anyway, don't worry about it.
07:46I'm going to find a new best man.
07:47Is Bubbles home?
07:48Surprise!
07:51What's going on here?
07:53It's your stag party, you fucking bastard.
07:55You got something you all fucked up.
07:57Get that in here, Rick.
07:59Get you all fucked up.
08:00What is it?
08:01Come on, stag.
08:02That's a swish, brother.
08:03Yeah, knock her back.
08:04Come on.
08:04Come on.
08:05Nice to see the stag, dude.
08:11Put your hair on your chest, man.
08:12Come on.
08:12I got to take a leak.
08:13Someone makes me have to drink.
08:14Yeah, I will.
08:17I told you guys not to drink.
08:19If you don't concentrate on getting Ricky drunk tonight, you're going to fuck up the entire robbery.
08:23Understand me?
08:24Okay.
08:25Fast.
08:25Cool.
08:27Smirnoff.
08:28Right on, boys.
08:29This is awesome.
08:29I wasn't expecting this.
08:30There you go.
08:31Thanks, Levi.
08:32Anybody guys want to drink?
08:33None.
08:34Not cool.
08:34We're cool.
08:35Say what?
08:37You guys are whack.
08:37It's your night, dude.
08:38Cheers, guys.
08:39Yeah.
08:40Drink up, buddy.
08:42You go, Rick.
08:43Get it in you.
08:44Come on, buddy.
08:45What's the plan for the night?
08:46Lots of drinks and lots of strippers.
08:48No way.
08:49Come on.
08:50Come on.
08:51Come on, Ricky.
08:51Ricky.
08:52Come on, Ricky.
08:53Come on, Ricky.
08:55Come on, boys.
08:57Come on, Ricky.
08:58Come on, Rick.
08:59To my boy.
09:00He's getting married.
09:00Toast with your dad.
09:01Come on.
09:01I love you guys.
09:02I love you.
09:03I love you guys.
09:04Yeah, I love you, boy.
09:07Another tray of shooters, please.
09:09I'm going to die.
09:21I can't fucking hold him.
09:22I can't hold him.
09:23What's up?
09:23What's up?
09:27Shut the thing off.
09:28Get this one, man.
09:30Get something, bro.
09:32Bingo.
09:36Yeah.
09:37Get this one.
09:39Open the back window.
09:41What do you need to get, Rick?
09:42Hurry up.
09:43Come on.
09:44Let's get him in.
09:44Hurry up.
09:45Come on.
09:47Holy fuck.
09:51Holy fuck.
09:53Who's the smoke?
09:54Pete out for the night.
10:02How's Ricky?
10:04He's good, dude.
10:06He's a stick.
10:06All right.
10:07Guns loaded?
10:08Guns loaded.
10:09Mask down?
10:10Yeah.
10:10Track.
10:11All right.
10:11Two minutes, guys.
10:13No mistakes.
10:13Let's do it.
10:18Everybody down.
10:19Everybody down.
10:20This is a robbery.
10:21Everyone can't cough.
10:23We don't want your money, and we don't want to hurt anybody.
10:25We just want some food.
10:28Stop fucking around.
10:29Get in position.
10:34Let's go.
10:35Let's go.
10:36Let's go.
10:41It's going to be the best way to ever do it.
10:43I'm going to be the best way to get it.
10:44It's so cool.
10:45I'm going to be the best way to get it.
10:46What the fuck with so many bananas for, dude?
10:51What the fuck with the corkscrews and shit, man?
10:54Get some drink and everything.
10:55Get some crazy.
10:55Why are you always telling me what to do?
10:57What the fuck with bananas in the car, dude?
10:58We don't want any bananas at the wedding.
11:00Nobody's bananas at the wedding.
11:09This is smokes.
11:11Hey, what's up?
11:17Come alive.
11:22Oh-
11:25Jesus!
11:27What the fuck thing they do?
11:34Put the gun down!
11:36It's us! It's us! It's us!
11:40Stop shooting, you duks!
11:42What the fuck's going on here?
11:44I just came in here for smokes.
11:46What the hell's going on?
11:47Sorry, dude, man. Didn't know.
11:49You're stupid. You're stupid.
11:52You're a fucking idiot.
11:54The fucking gun's broken.
11:55You could have killed me over there.
11:56He's broken.
11:56The fuck?
11:57Ricky, shut up.
11:59Ricky.
12:02Oh, for fuck's sakes.
12:07Let's go! Let's go! Everybody out!
12:10Out of the way, dude.
12:11Ah, get it.
12:13Get in the truck, Ricky.
12:15Come on, boys.
12:18Get in the truck!
12:19Get in the truck!
12:21Get in the truck!
12:22Help me get the party in!
12:24Get the fuck off with the car, Bubbles.
12:25Come on! I'm not leaving this fucking car!
12:28Get in the truck!
12:30Get in the truck!
12:32Get in!
12:32Jesus Christ!
12:34You know, I may not have done all the right stuff in my life.
12:37I've done smart stuff.
12:38But guys, maybe I shouldn't be commenting here.
12:40But that was pretty fucking dumb.
12:41All right?
12:42You're robbing a fucking grocery store.
12:44You didn't even tell me.
12:46I'm fucking on videotape now,
12:48firing handguns with no mask on.
12:50You guys are fucking dumb.
12:52Ricky, would you calm down?
12:53No, I'm not going to calm down, Julian.
12:55Calm down.
12:55I'm pissed off.
12:56I'm pissed off at you,
12:58and especially you two dicks.
12:59You guys are really fucking stupid.
13:01Ricky, sorry, man, but you were shooting at us, too.
13:04I'm drunk.
13:05I'm really drunk, and I don't need this shit.
13:07Ricky, Ricky, would you...
13:08Get married tomorrow!
13:08Would you shut up?
13:10Everything's going to be cool.
13:11Trust me.
13:12Can everyone just please stop it?
13:14Oh, look, you're making Bubbles cry, Ricky.
13:17Just shut up.
13:18I'm sorry, all right?
13:18I'm just drunk, and I'm working out.
13:21Last night was a fucking nightmare,
13:22but, you know, nobody got shot, so...
13:25I'm just waiting for Candy.
13:26Oh, maybe she comes now.
13:27You better chill before you get knocked out.
13:29Chill.
13:31Anyway, I got a big surprise for her.
13:33She's going to freak out.
13:35I'm nervous.
13:37What was that?
13:40Oh, my God!
13:42It's beautiful!
13:43Yeah, you think so?
13:44It's like a castle.
13:45I don't know.
13:46So what do you think?
13:47What do I think?
13:48Yeah.
13:49What?
13:49You want to move in with me?
13:51I'm buying it.
13:52I don't know.
13:52Really?
13:53Oh, yeah.
13:53I'd love to move in with you, sweetie.
13:54I got this on camera, you know,
13:56in case you want to change your mind.
13:58Uh-uh.
13:59No?
13:59Uh-uh.
13:59No.
14:12Guys, you want to get this on tape?
14:15I mean, this is what life's all about.
14:17You know, it doesn't get any better than this.
14:20And, you know, after today, we're going to be a legal family.
14:23It's going to be pretty cool.
14:24It's going to be on paper and everything.
14:26There's something I want to tell you girls, all right?
14:29I love you both with my whole heart.
14:37Who the fuck is that, Dick?
14:41You expecting anyone?
14:42No, I'm not expecting anyone.
14:43You expecting anyone?
14:45No.
14:50What do you want?
14:51Who the hell are you?
14:52Hello, Rick.
14:54How the fuck do you know my name?
14:55Just relax, Rick.
14:58I was wondering if you know anything about any of the stuff that's been going down around here lately.
15:01What stuff?
15:03I don't know.
15:04You tell me.
15:05Why would I know anything about anything going around around here?
15:08You sure?
15:09You wouldn't be lying to me, would you, Rick?
15:11Why would I lie to you?
15:12Tell you what, Rick.
15:14You take that.
15:17You find yourself you might remember something that you forgot to tell me, you can give me a call.
15:21I'm having a flashback right now, actually, about something I wanted to tell you.
15:24Just, I wrote it down, I think.
15:26Yeah, there it is.
15:27Copy right there for you.
15:29Very nice.
15:30You know what that means?
15:31It means fuck off.
15:33We'll see you soon, Rick.
15:35And what do you mean by that?
15:37Precisely what I said.
15:38That's why I chose the words.
15:40Today's a very special day.
15:43Ricky's wedding day.
15:45I'm going to give him a special wedding present, hand-delivered, personally.
15:52I figure that there's probably going to be at least a hundred people that are going to be coming to
15:56the park.
15:57I mean, they're probably going to be all drunk and stoned and everything.
16:01We're going to have to make sure that things don't get into control, Mr. Leahy.
16:05We're going to see the best collection of losers this park seemed free many a year.
16:10Loser convention.
16:13Man, that suit looks dope.
16:16Thanks.
16:17Great on.
16:18You look really good, too.
16:19What's wrong?
16:22I'm probably just being stupid, but have you seen that dick driving around the park?
16:25Yeah.
16:26Yeah, he's an undercover cop.
16:27I can tell you that.
16:28So, you're afraid of some cop?
16:29Yeah, I am afraid of this cop because he's intense.
16:32Like a frog running along the highway, eventually some car is going to hit you, and this is the fucking
16:37car.
16:38Ricky, Ricky, Ricky.
16:39You're just paranoid.
16:40Come on, now.
16:41Don't worry about this stuff.
16:44Yeah, you're probably right.
16:45I'm just...
16:46I can't go back to jail, Julian, all right?
16:47That stuff that happened there fucked me up.
16:49I still think about it every fucking day.
16:51And the biggest thing is, like, I can't go back to jail alone because I can't look after myself in
16:55there.
16:56You know what I'm saying?
16:56I know what you're saying, but don't worry.
16:58You're not going back to jail, all right?
16:59You're not going back to jail, I'm not going back to jail.
17:02It wasn't my idea to rob that store, Julian.
17:04I know.
17:05Listen, listen, look at me.
17:06I promise you, you're not going to go back to jail.
17:25Woo!
17:28Oh, my.
17:31My, my, my.
17:33She is beautiful.
17:41So, you all dressed up today?
17:43Yeah.
17:43Got my tuxedo on.
17:45Hey, maybe you could fix my tie for me.
17:46Yeah, why not?
17:48Check, Jeff.
17:49He's not even real.
17:51150 bucks for those real fuckers.
17:53He's a dope, dude.
17:54I wish, I wish, I wish Rick and Lucy all the best.
17:57Because I know they're in love and they're not all hung up on past people that they went
18:00out with in the past.
18:02By that, I mean people, people that they slept with before they got together with each other.
18:05And I don't mean Julian, but that, oh, man.
18:09Dude, you didn't have to hit me, you dick.
18:11Oh, this is like a wedding video and shit, man.
18:13You've got to have more respect than that.
18:14I didn't mean anything by it.
18:14Come on, man.
18:15This is going to be on the tape now.
18:16They're going to be seeing everything.
18:17We look like dicks.
18:18Nice one.
18:38Hi.
18:41On behalf of the bride and groom, I'd like to thank everyone for their support on this
18:45very special day.
18:47Instead of the traditional vows, the bride and the groom have decided to write their own.
18:52I, Lucy, promise to love you and respect you and be truthful for you as long as I live.
19:02Hi, Richard.
19:03I promise to love and to not break the law as much as I used to.
19:08I promise to be a good father to my child and to not swear anymore or as much as I
19:12do
19:12in public places.
19:14And I promise to love you as much as I can and as often as I can under the circumstances.
19:20Well, I think I should have the rings.
19:23You got the ring.
19:24Oh, can you hold this?
19:26Thanks.
19:28Okay.
19:30What goes on here now?
19:33Here.
19:34Okay.
19:35Do you, Lucy, take Ricky to be your husband?
19:39Oh, for fuck's sakes.
19:41Trevor Corey, these guys are here for you, I guess, huh?
19:43Hands on your head.
19:44What's this bullshit?
19:45How could you do this?
19:46I didn't do anything.
19:48Hands on your head.
19:48What the fuck's going on here?
19:49Hands on your head, Rick.
19:52Oh, no.
19:52I'm pissed off now.
19:54Here.
19:55Jesus Christ, I'm trying to get fucking married here.
19:58Holy fuck.
20:00Oh, for fuck's sakes.
20:02I can't believe this shit.
20:04Julian, look at this shit.
20:05My wind's all fucked up.
20:07Bring it off.
20:09This is bullshit.
20:11Julian, what the fuck's going on here?
20:13If this isn't my fault, there's a lot more people here who are guiltier than I am, Trevor
20:17and Corey.
20:18I'm going back to jail here.
20:24Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
20:26Hey, how you back?
20:28What in the fuck?
20:29Julian, we'll see you in a couple hours, man.
20:32We've got to work this shit out.
20:33Everybody stay here.
20:34The wedding will continue in about a couple hours.
20:36We're just going to go take care of a couple things here.
20:38I love you, Dad.
20:39Love you, buddy.
20:41Fuck off, Lee.
20:42You want to make a citizens arresting this guy?
20:44Don't make any self-rease officers.
20:47The Constitution section won't be coming out of the ring.
20:48The People's Act.
20:50I want to arrest you.
20:51Randy guy.
20:52I want to arrest you.
20:52Everyone here, because everyone's freaking out.
20:54It's going good.
20:55It's illegal.
20:57It's illegal.
20:58It's illegal.
20:59It's illegal.
20:59It's illegal.
20:59It's illegal.
20:59It's illegal.
21:00I want the fucking camera crew arrested.
21:02I want you arrested for this.
21:03I want that sound man arrested.
21:05I want everyone arrested.
21:07Thank you very much.
21:08Lee, you're fucking going down for this, you jackass.
21:11Let's pack it up.
21:13I'm pissed off over here.
21:15Nobody go anywhere, all right?
21:17You fuck off.
21:21For the first couple weeks that I came back to jail, I was still pissed off because, you
21:25know, they used all this documentary footage against us to convict us, and I was pissed
21:30off with the whole courtroom scene, and I shouldn't have defended myself.
21:33I know that now.
21:34And for the first two weeks in jail, I basically partied.
21:37I did a lot of drugs, and I was getting drunk.
21:40And now I realize that, you know, you got to try to stay away from all that stuff in here.
21:45And basically, if you're going to be in here, you may as well use the time to get smarter.
21:49I learned about relationships, how it's probably a good thing to take a break once in a while
21:53from your relationship because then when the break's over, it's stronger, I guess.
22:01So as far as losing eternity goes, that's probably good.
22:04Taking a break from dope is even a good kind of a break because then when you smoke dope again,
22:08you get a lot more fucked up.
22:09What Ricky's talking about is the power of positive thinking.
22:14Now, I've been doing a lot of reading in here about that, and I've learned to take a negative situation
22:19and turn it into a positive one.
22:21And I've been telling Ricky all about it.
22:22Exactly.
22:23It's all in how you look at it.
22:24I mean, you can pretend you're in jail or right now I'm pretending that I'm in university.
22:29If you look at jail in a positive manner, I mean, you eat three times a day, okay?
22:35You have a schedule.
22:36You follow that schedule.
22:37You have a lot of time to yourself to read, to reflect on life, and hang out with your friends.
22:44I'm glad I went to jail, and the only thing that I really miss is probably having regular,
22:49you know, dope all the time, getting drunk regularly.
22:52And I miss Lucy and Trinity.
22:53But other than that, I fucking love being in jail.
22:56Positive thinking, Ricky.
22:5945 days, buddy.
23:00It's easy.
23:01Sloppy Joe's tomorrow.
23:03Oh yeah, it's Thursday.
23:04Right on.
23:05We'll be okay.
23:11We'll be okay.
23:30We'll be okay.
23:37You