00:00Usually when I look in the mirror, I feel like I'm that .
00:02It's what happens when I go out into the rest of the world
00:06that I start to have some self-doubt.
00:09How I feel about my body.
00:10I have my days.
00:11I feel pretty good about myself.
00:13I like that I'm a tall, long person.
00:16I like my long legs.
00:17I like my long arms.
00:18I definitely am aware that I have a unique look.
00:23Today, I'm super happy with what I see.
00:27It wasn't always that way.
00:28You go through puberty.
00:29And when that hits, boom.
00:31Growing up, I got a lot of body shaming for being skinny.
00:34It made me so insecure.
00:35I always hated changing the locker rooms.
00:37I always hated when people would point out to me,
00:39oh my gosh, you're so skinny.
00:40I still do.
00:41In like maybe middle school, I just started to realize
00:44that women's bodies were capital.
00:47They came with social capital and like a lot of access.
00:49I definitely felt a strong desire to have a different body,
00:55having a quote unquote nice body.
00:57It came with all these perks.
00:59Now, I don't feel that way just because I can access those things too with what I have.
01:06Loving my body is definitely a continuous process.
01:09Me, I really should go on a diet and it's like also me,
01:13but I'm still catching men's eye with this same body, so what's up?
01:19Do you think that there's a body ideal for black women?
01:21Yes, fat , wide hips, small waist, titties optional.
01:28Big boobs, small waist, fat .
01:31Black women would have like curves and hips and I didn't have any of that.
01:34There's this idea that black people are more body positive and I think the problem with that
01:42is that one, black people are also very fat phobic.
01:45Black people have different standards, but the way in which they treat people who fall outside of that body type
01:52can still be just as toxic, just as harmful, just as hurtful.
01:55I think back in the day, the video Vixen like literally was a thing.
01:59As a little girl, it kind of internalizes those things and makes you say,
02:03am I not okay because I don't look like this or my body doesn't fit the description in this rap
02:09song.
02:09When it comes to hip-hop culture right now and all of the things that really make it seem
02:16like the definition of beauty for black women, it kills me. It makes me absolutely sick.
02:22All these girls that are getting butt shots, implants, and I don't want to pass judgment
02:27because no matter what it is, enhancement isn't bad.
02:31I just think it starts from within.
02:33I felt like I was on the other side of like negative thoughts about my body
02:38when I realized that I could move through the world without thinking about it at all.
02:42I was raised by Christian mom and dad who always told me,
02:47you are fearfully and wonderfully made and I really believe in that.
02:50I don't have a body ideal, but I have ideals for my body if that makes sense.
02:57Me comparing my body to anyone else's is unrealistic.
03:00It took me a really long time to love how I look now.
03:03My body ideal is the one that I'm in. I love my long arms. They help me reach things.
03:09I love being tall.
03:10I think my favorite part of my body is my boobs.
03:13At the end of the day, I know I have a killer face and when I do what I need
03:17to do,
03:17I can walk out of the house feeling beautiful.
03:19I love that my body is also, it gets to be such a source of pleasure and like that I
03:24get to enjoy it
03:25like visually and physically.
03:30I think it's really important for black women to be able to uplift each other no matter how we look.
03:35If it's not enough for somebody else, then like they have to take that up.
03:40God, I don't know what to tell them. I don't have the answers.
03:43I don't know what to say.
03:43I'll see you guys.
03:44I'll see you guys.
