00:00So, it was after I moved to New York, I spoke to my mom and was like, hey, I have
00:04something
00:04to tell you.
00:05I spent weeks and weeks and weeks typing up a letter and perfecting it.
00:08Let's talk over Skype.
00:09Might have been a post-it.
00:10I am gay.
00:15Hey everyone, I'm Jamie.
00:17Hi, my name is Victor.
00:18My name is Jessie.
00:19Hi.
00:19I am Justin.
00:20I identify as a lesbian.
00:22Gender non-conforming.
00:23Lesbian.
00:23Gay.
00:24Hey guys, my name is Janae.
00:25I prefer women.
00:26And I identify as gay.
00:29When I was 21, 22 years old, that's when I finally came out to who I really was.
00:34I came out when I was 20.
00:36I first came out when I was 18.
00:37Oh, not 18.
00:38Sorry.
00:40When I first came out, I was 17 and a senior in high school.
00:42One of the first people I told that I was gay was actually a teacher.
00:47My best friend at the time.
00:48I came out to my entire family through a Facebook message when I was 20 years old.
00:53Funny enough, I had a girlfriend throughout my entire high school career.
00:57The first person I told was my mom.
00:59My mom.
01:00I picked up the phone and called my mom and was like, hey, I have something to tell you.
01:03We were at a supermarket and I start like slowly crying a little bit and she's just
01:08like, oh my God, what's wrong?
01:10And I was like, mom, I think I'm gay.
01:13And she was just like, oh my God, no, like, I love you no matter what.
01:17You could have told me at home.
01:18My mom actually took me out to dinner.
01:20We get to Waffle House.
01:21As a Southern Belle myself, I know.
01:23Typical.
01:24As soon as we're almost done with our dinner, that's when she's like, I need to ask you,
01:28are you gay?
01:28And I said, yes, mom, I am gay.
01:31And she asked me if I had told anyone else.
01:33And at the time I did tell my best friend, which was the reason she cried.
01:36Not because I was gay, but because I told someone else.
01:38And she felt that I didn't trust her with the story.
01:40So if there's something that I would have changed would be to tell her first.
01:45I didn't know how to tell my parents.
01:48I definitely couldn't tell them face to face.
01:50So I ended up writing them like a 10 page letter using this metaphor from a Mormon prophet,
01:58a talk that he gave because I grew up in a Mormon family about this metaphor of gray canaries
02:05and one had a yellow feather and how that unique attribute of the canary was what made it special.
02:12And so I wrote this long 10 page letter to my parents about how I was the canary with the
02:17yellow feather.
02:18And I put it on their pillow and then I ran out the door.
02:22My parents picked me up at school and our car ride was just completely silent.
02:26But then they handed me a letter just completely affirming everything I was saying
02:29and how they loved me no matter what and that they're here for me.
02:33I couldn't really hide it from my family anymore.
02:36And like Facebook was the easiest way to just mass come out to everybody.
02:40I dropped it in between classes.
02:42I was in college at the time and then just waited and it was scary.
02:45It was scary to wait for those messages to roll back in.
02:49Before I could even walk out of the room to go to class,
02:51popped up a message from my oldest cousin Justin and it was just immediate like,
02:55Cassie, we will always support you no matter what.
02:58We feel fine about you.
02:59It was great.
02:59I had written on a small piece of paper.
03:02It might have been a post-it.
03:03Were post-its invented in 1992?
03:05I don't remember.
03:06And it just said, I am gay.
03:08And I handed her this note and she said something to the effect of,
03:12well, where is this coming from?
03:14She says, I don't really care.
03:15I want you to do what you want to do, but I don't want you to face discrimination.
03:19I don't want you to face bigotry.
03:21I picked up the phone and called my mom and was like, I've always known I like girls since I
03:26was five.
03:27She was a bit upset because, you know, I was brought up in the church.
03:30My dad's a pastor.
03:31You know, she told me it was a sin.
03:33We're concerned about your soul and that's not what God wants for you.
03:37But, you know, I mentioned to her that I prayed about it, which I have, and I struggled with it
03:41for a very long time because of my upbringing.
03:43Luckily, I never went through being disowned or, you know, any type of distance with my parents.
03:49They do love me.
03:50They do support me.
03:51I do kind of keep that aspect of my life away from them.
03:54I don't bring girls around necessarily.
03:56You know, if I did bring somebody around, they would be introduced as a friend.
03:59It's just out of respect to my parents because I know how they really feel.
04:03The best part about coming out and living in my truth is just feeling honest.
04:07I don't have to pretend anything anymore.
04:10Now is one of my favorite memories looking back just because I feel like since then I've just become so
04:15much more comfortable in my own life.
04:17We live in a culture where there's much more space for folks to come out, and that's really where I
04:23was able to find my power.
04:24You need to come out in whatever way feels safest and best to you.
04:29Take your time with coming out.
04:31There's no rush.
04:32If you're in a situation where it might be unsafe to come out, it's totally okay to wait.
04:37When it's right for you, it's right for you, and no one else can dictate that but you.
04:42You determine when to come out, who to come out to, and how you come out.
04:46I think everyone needs to seek their own truth and seek their own issues and work out their own issues
04:52with God if you're bringing God in it.
04:54And if you really think I'm at fault, then just pray for me.
04:57And if you're not doing that for me, then I just basically dismiss it.
05:02I'm not arguing with people about my life.
05:04Really listen to yourself and seek out people that you feel peaceful with.
05:10The best thing is really being happy with who I am entirely.
05:13Just like being yourself is awesome, so just be you.
05:18That is it.
