- 18 minutes ago
Serena Kerrigan, known as the Queen of Confidence, is on a mission to empower others and guide them through whatever challenges they may be facing. In this episode, she works with Rafilenny, who struggles with judgment from her inner thoughts and family on her body and appearance.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00People know me as the queen of confidence, but it didn't happen overnight.
00:04Like many girls, I felt really insecure about my body growing up, and getting bullied didn't
00:08help.
00:09The gym was a chamber of terror.
00:11I always felt like everyone was judging me.
00:13But then I got sick of letting other people's opinions control how I felt about myself.
00:18So I started working out, and I realized it's not about losing weight.
00:22It's about sweating out the bad and feeling really good.
00:26Going to the gym makes me feel empowered, and now it's time to empower others.
00:30So when a girl named Rafi Lenny reached out, I knew I had to help.
00:34She's in for a wild ride, but that's what happens when you ask Serena.
00:43Hey Serena, my name is Rafi Lenny.
00:46I'm having a hard time feeling confident and accepting myself.
00:51I constantly get criticized by my family members in regards of my weight gain.
01:00And it definitely has been a hard time for me to accept how I look, and also it's been
01:07a struggle for me to even go back to the gym because I don't feel comfortable going.
01:13I definitely do need your help.
01:21Hi, how are you?
01:23Hi, how are you?
01:23Serena!
01:24Lenny, tell me why I'm here today.
01:26I pretty much needed someone to remind me on feeling more confident within myself.
01:33Me trying to balance my mental health and going to school has, to be honest, been a challenge
01:38for me.
01:38When did you start to feel insecure?
01:40I will say ever since I started gaining weight, I don't feel comfortable with my body and
01:46the way it looks.
01:46You talked a little bit about your family making comments about your weight.
01:49Want to tell me a little bit about that?
01:51When I go to my aunt's house, I know she cares about me deeply, and I do appreciate that
01:56from her part.
01:57But she always mentions about my weight, and I know for a fact the reason why she mentions
02:01is because she wants me to be in good health, and I completely understand.
02:04I guess it's just the way she goes about it, the critique.
02:08And then my mom is just saying, you have to work out, you don't do anything, you just
02:13stay home, you know, your stomach is showing, you look fatter.
02:17So when they say those things, it's like, I don't know what to say, like, I feel like
02:21I'm being attacked.
02:22Yeah.
02:22I totally can relate to you because when I would visit Argentina growing up, I remember
02:28vividly when one of my family members was like, Serena, tan gordita, como le encanta
02:33la torta.
02:34You know, like, me encantan los dulces.
02:37And it really, like, hurt my feelings, and they're like, no, es un chiste, es un chiste.
02:43But it was like, I feel you.
02:45Like, I feel that pain.
02:46Like, it brings me back to a place where, like, family criticizing you is just, I'm, like,
02:53actually getting emotional right now.
02:55Like, family criticizing is just, it's very, it can take a real toll on yourself, even the
03:00way you see yourself.
03:00Because it's like, they're your family.
03:02Like, they're supposed to love you and lift you up.
03:03And so, I totally can relate to that.
03:07I'm so sorry.
03:08I don't know why I'm crying.
03:09I know.
03:09I know.
03:10I'm sorry.
03:10I'm the one supposed to be, like, helping you.
03:12I'm sorry to cry.
03:13I'm sorry.
03:14That's okay.
03:15That's why I started going to the gym.
03:16Not because of what they said about me, but because, like, I wanted to feel in control
03:20of the way I felt about myself.
03:22And I want you to feel that, too.
03:24Because once you have that power, people can say whatever they're going to say.
03:28But it doesn't matter.
03:29Because you know how you feel about yourself.
03:31I feel really overwhelmed, like, when I go, when I choose to go.
03:35Don't know what stuff.
03:36Don't know what equipment to use.
03:38I don't feel comfortable with my skin.
03:39And I just have this thing where it's like, what if people are watching me?
03:43So, I think going to the gym definitely will help with my confidence and my mental health.
03:47But I do need that push.
03:48Well, you called the right girl, because I am going to push you and push you to work.
03:52Are you ready?
03:53I am ready.
03:54Let's do this.
03:55Let's do this.
03:55Let's do this.
03:56Let's do it.
04:02Let's do it.
04:04Let's do it.
04:06Let's do it.
04:08Let's do it.
04:09Lenny, you're probably wondering, where the heck are we right now?
04:11Where are we?
04:12I'm trying to figure it out.
04:14We are the Rage Cage in Brooklyn.
04:16And we're going to let out some emotional steam and get that heart rate up.
04:20are you ready i'm ready okay but before we do that i have someone very special i want you to
04:24meet so we got to get you ready let's go girl come on oh special guest
04:37hello hi clenny this is hunter mcgrady she is a model an advocate she was on the cover of sports
04:45illustrated and the knot she is confident body positive activist and she is a total badass and
04:52she's like a perfect person for you to be today okay let me so serena had called me and told
04:57me
04:57a little bit about what's going on that you're having some difficulty with confidence going to
05:01the gym i totally get it you know i totally understand where you are i've been there for
05:07me the biggest thing that i've learned was self-affirmations and now i have it on my mirror
05:10of things i can say to myself and i say you are beautiful you are enough you are worthy you
05:16are
05:16worthy of being successful you are worthy of feeling beautiful so i kind of challenge you to do the same
05:22thing i would like to say that i look beautiful i love my hair i love my body my stretch
05:29marks my stomach
05:31i would love to say those things but yet again it's just my negative state of mind yeah just
05:38won't let you yeah because a lot of times when you deal with self-confidence and when you deal with
05:44any insecurity it's your mind being shackled by what society has told us the only reason we believe
05:50that is because we've been told by society to believe that and on that note i'm back it is time
05:58to
05:59shatter the chatter ladies you're going to take these plates and we're going to write down every negative
06:04or something that's said about us every negative thought we had about ourselves and we're going to
06:08smash it to the ground yeah let me are you ready okay say it out loud you're fat how did
06:17that make
06:18you feel when someone said that to you really sad who said that to you my mother okay my aunt
06:24and my
06:26thought my negative thought as well and what are you ready to do with that with that negative thought
06:31i'm ready to just break this plate one two three second
06:38how does that feel that feels good
06:41it feels really good i'm going to do it i'm going to be vulnerable i've been told that my boobs
06:48are really
06:50saggy guess what i love my boobs and gravity is a real thing so i'm done i'm done
06:59i was told when i did sports illustrated i was not worried
07:04we're all worried here and
07:09so breaking the place has definitely helped me
07:12relieve stress and tension at the beginning of the day i was definitely you know nervous
07:19at this moment i feel really energized i feel hopeful definitely this experience has given me a like
07:29a hope i am running down the word fear fear to me is false evidence appearing real and i think
07:37that we
07:38all can get rid of a little bit of fear look here in the face and say we're over you
07:42i'm not going to
07:44feel confident overnight but it's all based on repetition and pushing myself to the limit so when
07:52i do feel bad or i do feel depressed just kind of remind myself um that there's hope and i
08:01go to look
08:02back at what i experienced today and always have that with me it definitely has been out of my comfort
08:09stone so i don't know what to expect let's see what happens can't wait
08:21okay lenny a big way that i got my confidence back up whenever i was feeling down was to get
08:27naked throw on some lipstick get in front of the mirror and start dancing so today you are going to
08:34be taking a dance class with julia the founder of sas class awesome how's that sound exciting but i'm
08:40so scared don't be scared okay but as you know lenny with me there's always a catch so at sas
08:48class
08:49they dance in heels oh my god better get these on girl so what do you say we learn some
08:54choreography
08:54yes awesome let's do it we are gonna have an eight count to just mushy gooey love up on this
09:03wall
09:03and up on ourselves okay so you can go down you can come back up you can turn around okay
09:14the possibilities are endless people usually think that working out you have to go to the gym right
09:20they're wrong dancing is a great way to feel sexy empowered while you're sweating and exercise and pose
09:27and pose and pose and pose and pose how do you feel i feel really happy really confident i feel
09:42sexy
09:42if you think you feel sexy now no performer can perform without an outfit awesome oh my god thank you
10:00do you like this i love it's so comfortable you look gorgeous do you like what i've done with the
10:07place yes i love it it's all for your big performance oh my god are you ready i'm ready okay
10:13but lenny no
10:15performance is complete without your backup dancers ladies
10:23lenny these are the beautiful ladies of sas class i know we talked earlier about feeling a little
10:28insecure about when you're working out you feel like people are looking at you well guess what
10:30we are your support system we're gonna dance with you and feel empowered together okay are you ready
10:36for your big performance this dance definitely means to me empowerment it's shocking to me i never
10:48imagined myself doing that but to actually be wearing that outfit the leggings and the sport bra and just
10:54dancing it definitely did help me change my perspective on how i look and also i'm starting to feel
11:03comfortable with my own skin and it's okay to have curves and it's okay to have you know a little
11:11stomach but the most important thing is that you are happy within yourself and that you feel happy so
11:17that's something that i definitely took from this experience
11:31i have no words to say i'm sorry i don't want to cry no it's okay talk to me why
11:37are you getting
11:38emotional i don't know i'm just i usually don't get this type of support from like my own family
11:45i see myself more a bit more confident than before when i was dancing in those heels and i kept
11:53looking
11:53at the mirror i just kind of felt more accepting of my body like now it's like you know i
11:58don't look
11:59that bad i don't know why i felt the need to you know get thinner it's like i look beautiful
12:05like i
12:06accept my curves just the way it is so it definitely has changed my perception
12:12on how i view myself as a person i'm so glad physically so it's it was an eye-opening for
12:19me
12:19it's truly amazing like what you've accomplished in two days so on that note i have a gift for you
12:26yesterday we smashed all those negative words got rid of them today i think we should replace them
12:34with positive ones so i got you this journal thank you and it's for you to write your goals but
12:40more
12:40importantly for you to write positive affirmations that then you'll say in front of a mirror who is
12:46let me now i started with i am confident i love my body i am beautiful i am grateful i
12:54am smart i am
12:56brave i'm on the right path i am worthy of all things wonderful i am always healing and never alone
13:03i am learning to let go of fear it's incredible and you see that not a lot of those words
13:08have to do
13:08working out right right or about how you look it's about what you're feeling exactly that's what's
13:14important right i'm so so proud of you thank you okay one more surprise i swear it's the last one
13:21okay and i got you a free one month membership at this incredible gym that's all about body positivity
13:30and a safe space and feeling bad ass which is so up your alley i think you're gonna have a
13:36lot of fun
13:36and you're gonna walk in there what are you gonna do when you walk in there i'm just gonna go
13:40in
13:40there and work out my work here is done
13:47hi serena right now i'm at form fitness hi i'm marie
13:51running's gonna do great today do you feel like uh maybe you're a little less intimidated by the gym
13:57yes okay i feel really confident this experience has showed me that my lack of confidence had nothing
14:05to do with my weight it was about feeling good in the inside and not allowing anyone to make me
14:12feel
14:12any less thanks to you i am definitely going to the gym twice a week and it's the most amazing
14:19feeling ever i feel so energized and i feel so productive and i just can't wait to go tomorrow
14:26it's amazing that's yes could i do that mate thank you serena
14:30you