00:00Even sometimes when I go to black people, they'll be under their breath like, oh god.
00:03I don't want to have the go back.
00:07Guys didn't really talk to me about my hair straight.
00:08I don't even feel right wearing my hair straight.
00:11I need my curls, like I need my hair to be in this natural state.
00:21What is that? What do you mean you're going natural? Like, what does that mean?
00:24Being natural or having natural hair to me means just embracing the hair that grows out of your scalp.
00:31Just embracing your identity, embracing how you look.
00:34People are always like, it was so unmanageable.
00:37Oh, I could never go natural if I had 4C hair gel. I can't.
00:39For me, I was like, this is what's growing out of my hair.
00:43So, like, it has to be for me because this is what I was born with.
00:47I've actually had people come up to me and say, hey, you know, remember when your hair was natural?
00:52And I was like, mm-mm, mm-mm, my hair is still natural.
00:56Like, there are girls who wear natural hair, but they do so much to make sure that their hair is
01:00like,
01:01the curl, it fits a certain pattern.
01:03So, is that natural or is it like you're still doing things to your hair so that it's acceptable?
01:09So, I kind of stumbled into my natural hair journey.
01:12I was doing perm rod sets and all this other stuff while I was transitioning.
01:16And then I was like, I actually like this way better than my hair being straight.
01:20A couple of failed attempts for going natural. I think I tried, like, three times.
01:25It's almost like a spiritual journey you have to go through to find the right products, to find the right,
01:30you know, what you want to do.
01:31Are you going to use heat on your hair? What are you going to do to your hair to make
01:34you feel comfortable in it?
01:35I got tired of having a whole day for washing my hair.
01:39I got to a point where I was like, okay, I'm going to lock it because I'm tired of doing
01:43it.
01:43My first understanding of myself and my hair came from my mother.
01:47Your strength comes from your hair.
01:49My mom wanted our hair to be as natural as it was when we came out of it.
01:53I got to perm really young. I think I was about four or five years old.
01:57My mom worked a lot, so she figured it would be more manageable if she permed my hair and my
02:02sister's hair.
02:02So my natural hair journey is a very complicated one.
02:06I've probably had every hairstyle you could imagine.
02:09I'm talking about in eighth grade, I had a jerry curl.
02:11They'd be like, jerry, jerry, when I walked down the hall.
02:13Like, it was bad. I was leaving jerry curl juice everywhere.
02:16I feel like the natural community, natural hair community started as a safe place.
02:20Even within the natural hair community, there is still, like, a hierarchy.
02:24If your hair isn't defined, if it's not a certain curl pattern.
02:28Like, me locking my hair has been very difficult, especially because I'm also looking for a job right now.
02:34And there are days when I wake up and that is just, because I'm locking my hair,
02:38that is how my hair is going to look for the day.
02:40No matter how much I try to, like, fix the baby hairs, and I have to accept that.
02:46And I have to still be confident, and I have to still love myself, and I have to still think
02:49I'm capable.
02:51These modifications, you see, I love wearing makeup, I love wearing earrings,
02:54but I also don't want my love for myself to be conditional.
02:58And that was one of the reasons why I cut my hair.
03:00I would say my favorite is probably, like, a perm rod set.
03:04I like my hair most when I don't gotta do it.
03:08This is my favorite way to wear my hair.
03:10Yeah, I didn't always love my hair, but now I'm like, girl, you look good, so.
