00:00Have you considered writing a Burt Kreischer memoir?
00:03Buddy, I wrote it. It did not sell well.
00:05Oh, really?
00:05Oh, I wrote it a long time ago, like 15 years ago.
00:08How do we not know this?
00:09Let's sell copies now, Burt.
00:10He's got a first kiss through college.
00:11No, no, no.
00:13And by the way, I will say the audio book, I'm not a good out loud reader.
00:17And so the audio book is tedious.
00:20Like, if you listen to my audio book, it is the funniest thing because I start cursing.
00:25At one point, I go, I'm taking my pants off because I got hot.
00:28And the guy left it all in.
00:30No way.
00:31At the end of the book, the very end of the audio book, is me laughing, going, I can't believe
00:37there's anyone listening still.
00:39Like, I can't read.
00:40They left a meltdown in there.
00:41And they left all my meltdowns, all my mess ups, everything.
00:45They left it all.
00:46It's called Life of the Party, Stories of a Perpetual Man-Child.
00:50What year did I write it?
00:51Like, 2000?
00:51It says here 2014.
00:53Wow.
00:532014, yeah.
00:54Okay.
00:55You've had so much success since then.
00:57Yes.
00:57I should have waited.
00:59It was the dumbest thing I'd ever done.
01:01I'd never write a book again.
01:02Yeah, I know.
01:03It was so unenjoyable.
01:04And the audio, none of the process, it was very vulnerable.
01:07You really dump everything.
01:08And by the way, I used all the real names of people.
01:11Oh, yeah.
01:12So if you read my book with my Facebook open, you'll be like, oh, that's what she looks like?
01:17Oh, so now we have to.
01:19So we're going to have to explore this audio book next week.
01:22It's so bad.
01:22It's so bad.
01:23There's a guy.
01:25I mean, this is like, I mean, like, I just didn't think it through.
01:30This girl texted me.
01:31Text me.
01:32She's like, hey, my son and his buddies read your book.
01:36They said I got a shout out in it.
01:38And I was like, oh.
01:40And then she wrote, I guess you called me a slut.
01:44I was like, you don't remember high school?
01:49And then she was like, real cool.
01:51And then she was like married to a professional baseball player.
01:54It was like, the whole, I used everyone's real name.
01:57I would have never done that in hindsight.
01:59It was such a mistake.
Comments