00:00You were diagnosed with a nonverbal learning disorder, if I understand correctly, which is basically that you have trouble picking
00:06up on nonverbal social cues.
00:08Yeah, yeah. I'm not one for a hint.
00:17How did you find it?
00:18You gotta tell me exactly what the fuck you want. You have to tell me exactly what the fuck you
00:27mean.
00:28Just a friend just told, just kind of blurted it one day and I don't know, you ever like somebody
00:37say something like, okay, let me get this looked into.
00:42You know, it's around, it's before Tambourine, but around that time. So I'm already like quitting porn. You know what
00:50I mean? Like I'm already like in a place where, okay, what the fuck's wrong with me?
00:56Uh, and I got, I got, what do they call that? Cognitive assessment test. And, you know, it's like eight
01:04hours of like testing to basically see, you know, it's like the kind of thing you would get if you
01:09were bipolar or something.
01:10You know what I mean? Like, so it's, it's a, it's a lot of testing and that's what they came
01:15up with.
01:15Were there things about your life that had been mysterious that made sense after this?
01:20I mean, let me say about my life, just, it made me realize how insensitive a lot of my behavior
01:29was throughout the years.
01:32Cause it's weird. It's like, um, I got, I got a friend who always says, uh, when a schizophrenic sees
01:39a famous person, they go, huh? See, told you like mental illness and celebrity.
01:49So, you know what I mean? Like it's a weird combination there. Cause you think people are reacting a certain
01:55way because of celebrity. You know what I mean? Cause it's like this weird thing that you can't quantify.
02:03So I used to just blame everything on celebrities. Like, oh, we're not connecting. Cause I'm this, you know, I
02:11had a chronic uniqueism. You know what I mean? I thought I was so fucking unique.
02:19Do you wish you had known earlier?
02:21Oh, I totally wish I had known earlier. I totally wish I had known earlier.
02:25It's funny because comedy is so perception based and you never seem to have struggled with that.
02:29Well, it's, but also like, okay, what are the symptoms? Black and white thinking. It's pretty, it's an advantageous thing
02:40to have. If you're a comedian, black and white, uh, catastrophizing. Great. You know what I mean? So, you know,
02:49like observing human behavior is such a part of it.
02:52Yeah. But yeah, but you know, the thing is people think, um, you know, when you see one of those
02:58specials, okay. The average comedian, cause I, you know, or even above average probably does 40 shows before they record
03:12a special.
03:12And maybe they did 20 club things before that. So that's 60 times on stage. My average special is over,
03:23I've gone on stage over 250 times. You know what I mean? Like, so I'm working it. I, I, yeah.
03:31It looks like I'm just, oh my God, he's got this great insight, but it's like, yo man, I'm like
03:37grinding this stuff and I'm grinding it, you know?
03:41Yeah. Also it's, um, because you, you, you, you have a, I have a hard time picking up on social
03:48cues, but I have a weirdly accurate ear.
03:52Yeah. I would say so.
03:54So I can pick up on things like in my ear and sometimes I can pick up on a cue,
04:04but I can't decipher it. I don't know what, what just happened for a week.
04:10And I'm like, oh, that's what she meant. Oh, that's what he was trying to say. Like it just, it's
04:17like a week later.
04:18It's like a week later is delayed. It's like my mind is working on the case. It just can't solve
04:23it at that moment. Does that make sense?
04:26Yes. You've also talked about doing a lot of therapy in this period of time. You put it in a
04:32way that I wanted to follow up on. There's, you did a variety interview recently and you said, I don't
04:37want to be one of those people bragging about their therapy.
04:39I crawled in there like everybody else. Nobody struts into therapy. You crawl in there on your knees, soaked from
04:46crying.
04:47Yeah.
04:48Is that really how you went in?
04:49Well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, yeah, we do have this thing. Everybody's like, they, they brag
04:55about their therapy and they was like, dude.
04:59Yeah. I was like, you know, put it this way. My life wasn't, my, my personal life wasn't what I
05:06wanted it to be. And I'll, I'll leave it at that. And so, yeah, I, and that's what my relationship
05:15with everybody. So, yeah, I went in there crying like a bitch.
05:20Like what the fuck? I shouldn't be laughing. You know what I mean? Like if you, if you're doing it
05:25right, if you go in it, you know, I'm not, I'm not going in there to get to, to say
05:30I did it.
05:31Yeah. How'd you come out or did you come out?
05:33I'm not, you never come out. Yeah. You, you, you never come out. You, it's an ongoing thing. It's not,
05:40you know what I mean? Like you're always an alcoholic.
05:42Yeah.
05:43You're always, you know what I mean? Like you're always, you know, so it's, you know, it's a combination of
05:48therapy and in, in, in,
05:50what I have in VLD nonverbal learning disorder. So I have a,
05:54I have a person that helps me with that. And I have another therapist.
05:59Yeah.
