00:00This is Darth Vader breathing.
00:27Yes, just so you know.
00:28It's not me.
00:29Everyone's aware.
00:29It's not Andy.
00:30It's not any of us here.
00:32It's Vader.
00:33My wife is the sweetest little thing.
00:38She's so easygoing.
00:40She can be real bitchy at times, but never to me.
00:43Anyway, we've been trying to get pregnant.
00:45So she's been taking these new pills.
00:49And all of a sudden, her upper lip has started growing hair.
00:57Good.
00:59Wow.
01:00Should I let her know or let her find out?
01:05What does she not know on her own?
01:07Wait a second.
01:07You're saying that she does not have any idea that she's growing a stash?
01:12That's what this says.
01:13That's why he's asking Vader.
01:15How can she not know?
01:16Oh, come on now.
01:20The emperor loves him.
01:21Oh, my God.
01:22It's probably his powers.
01:23Yeah.
01:24I was going to say, who cares about the peach fuzz?
01:25Don't get pregnant.
01:26That's what Vader would tell you how to do.
01:27Oh, yeah.
01:28Back out.
01:30Back out.
01:30Oh, my God.
01:32He's morphing into Chuck the Freak.
01:35Oh, more than him like to know, man.
01:37He told me the other day.
01:39He was like, hey, man, I just appreciate, like, you know, you trying to give me the heads
01:43up and all that way back in the day.
01:46I just want you to know you were right.
01:49Come on.
01:49In so many words.
01:51Yikes.
01:52In so many words, I did.
01:53Yeah.
01:53I've seen it.
01:54Yep.
01:54So, does he tell his lady she's growing a mustache or does she, as Lisa said, I don't
02:03know how you don't, unless it's super light and she can't see it, but he can.
02:07I feel like as a guy, you can't tell someone that they have a stache.
02:12I would assume it would be dark.
02:13It can't be just light.
02:15Yeah.
02:16I would assume it has to have some.
02:17Okay.
02:17Let's say you were with a lady, Jason.
02:20Okay.
02:20Let's say you're with a lady and she starts to grow a little something up there.
02:25Mm-hmm.
02:26Would you eventually say, hey, would you mind getting rid of that?
02:32Ah.
02:33Even though, so you lean in for a kiss and you're, like, starting to get grossed out.
02:37I think that's how I would do it.
02:39It would be a kiss and then I'd make a reaction like, you know.
02:43Something got me.
02:43It tickled me.
02:44Something got me.
02:44And she's like, what's wrong?
02:46It's like, ah, I don't know.
02:47Something tickled me.
02:49And then maybe that would lead to her.
02:52I went in point blank to say, you got a bunch of hair growing on your face.
02:56That's it.
02:58I don't know about that.
02:59It's Desi.
02:59He could get her one of those magnifying mirrors that I, like, I have.
03:04Oh, yeah, yeah.
03:05No, yeah.
03:05Stella has one, like, it's, you know, for her makeup or whatever, where it zooms way in.
03:11And it's, like, intense one that, and give that to her for Christmas and then she'll look in it
03:16and she'll see, maybe, though.
03:17Oh, that's a good idea.
03:18That's a way to avoid ever having to deal with it.
03:20Eh, just wax her while she's sleeping.
03:22Oh, my God.
03:23Do not listen to Albeck.
03:25No, don't do that.
03:26Yes.
03:27Wax your lady while she's sleeping.
03:30I don't think as a guy you can say it.
03:33I don't think you can.
03:34All right, well, let's see what Vader.
03:35He asked Vader.
03:36Oh, yeah.
03:36She should know.
03:37I'm troubled by the fact your woman doesn't know.
03:39Doesn't know.
03:40Should he tell his lady she's growing a stash, Lord Vader?
03:44Yes or no?
03:45Oh, let's see.
03:48No.
03:49No, you shouldn't.
03:51No, even Vader knows.
03:52Even Vader knows you can't talk about your lady's stash.
03:55I think once you tell a woman she has a mustache that you don't enjoy, it's pretty tough to
04:01get back in the sack.
04:02Yeah.
04:03You've got a mustache I don't enjoy?
04:05You know?
04:06Imagine saying that to someone.
04:07I can't.
04:08And that's just unfortunate.
04:10And he should strap in because there's a whole lot more changes coming if she gets
04:13from her.
04:14You know what I mean?
04:15Yeah.
04:16I'm working with Chuck from back in the day.
04:20No, I'm just saying.
04:21There's hormones.
04:22You know?
04:22Yeah.
04:23The body changes a lot.
04:24So here's going to pop up in places you never thought it would.
04:27Yeah.
04:27Yeah.
04:27Yeah.
04:28Yeah.
04:28All sorts of changes.
04:30He said that we ended up in the hospital last night for something separate and it really
04:36was visible in that hospital lighting.
04:38Oh, yeah.
04:39That hospital lighting's brutal.
04:41Fluorescent lighting.
04:42She looked like Tom Selleck.
04:44I can't hide anything.
04:44I can't hide anything.
04:47Oh, no.
04:53It is.
04:54Take Tom Selleck to the hospital.
04:57Yeah.
04:58Let me just play this for her whenever she gets in the car.
05:01Hey.
05:02Hey, babe.
05:03I don't know why I'm thinking this every time you come into the house.
05:07I don't know.
05:09I'm kind of attracted to this mustache.
05:14That thing is spectacular.
05:18Yeah, man.
05:19I just don't think you can say it's not your job as a man who's with a woman to comment on
05:28their, you just hope to God they have it all under control.
05:31Some women would say, why didn't you tell me?
05:34Yeah.
05:35Right?
05:35And I would say, you know why I didn't tell you?
05:38Because I enjoy you.
05:41I don't want to be the one.
05:42I'll let you figure that out.
05:44I think Lisa's right.
05:45You get the high-powered mirror, maybe one with the lights on the side.
05:49Yeah, that's what I have.
05:49Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:50I have the lights and everything.
05:52And that way, when they look to the side, they'll get that sheen.
05:56Yeah.
05:56That, like, almost blinding light.
05:59If he has a mustache, he can make out with her and then be like, ooh, her mustache has got
06:03entangled.
06:04Yeah.
06:04I almost put, like, a little strip of Velcro on mine and then get stuck to her.
06:10Like, I don't know what happened.
06:11I had a piece of Velcro.
06:12See?
06:13I'm going to stash you a question.
06:14I mean, uh...
06:15Oh, no.
06:18Oh, get her a spa day.
06:21Okay.
06:21They'll probably do it.
06:23A facial?
06:23A facial would do it.
06:24They would catch it.
06:25I was going to say, if you go, is there anything you can go to that they just take care of any
06:31kind of peach fuzz?
06:32Yeah.
06:33Okay.
06:34So, if you do that.
06:35Yeah, like a facial would.
06:36A facial would.
06:37They have a thing.
06:38They take all, any kind of...
06:40I'll be honest, I feel like that's safer, especially for Christmas, than even getting that mirror.
06:44Yeah, that's true.
06:45I like that idea.
06:46It's funny it doesn't go both ways, because women would be the first to tell a guy about
06:50anything, right?
06:50Oh, like my ear hair?
06:51Oh, yeah.
06:52For sure.
06:52I was like, oh, my God, look at that nose hair.
06:54Look at the length of it.
06:55Look at you.
06:56They don't care.
06:57I would say shave.
06:58Because.
06:59Are you going to shave today?
07:00Shave.
07:01No, because you could say anything to us.
07:04It's more acceptable for a man to have hair, I guess.
07:05I also think no matter how badly you make fun of us, or how badly you put us down, we are
07:11still willing to make out with you, to go to bed, and do all the stuff.
07:17Right.
07:18Because we're dumb.
07:19Even if your mustache is tickling my balls.
07:22Exactly.
07:22You can tell me, oh, wow, time to take care of that unibrow.
07:25I'm still like, I'm not going to put you in a category of like, well, I'm going to,
07:31there's no sex for a week.
07:32But a woman having a mustache is, you know, that's different.
07:35It's hard.
07:35This guy said, I would just put on my big boy pants and say, I thought you'd want to take
07:40care of it because you're such a beautiful woman, and I want you to always know that.
07:44God, that sounds condescending.
07:46But it sounds like, wow, what a good thought in his brain.
07:49Don't let your brain betray you.
07:51That's one of the dumbest things you could ever do.
07:53Like, do not do that.
07:54You can think, oh, I'm going to just be the knight in shining armor here.
07:58And no.
08:00Gift card.
08:01Facial.
08:02They're going to take care of it.
08:04Magnum's in the other room.
08:06You give her the gift card.
08:09Give Tom Selleck the gift card.
08:11This is my woman, Tom Selleck.
08:14They're like, oh, my God.
08:16Yeah, please sit down.
08:19Oh, you got a mustache.
08:21You got to clip that down.
08:23Yeah, that's probably your best bet there.
08:25Christmas facial, a holiday deal.
08:28Now's the time.
08:29Like, honestly, now's the time.
08:31It's the perfect time.
08:32It is.
08:32It's the perfect time of year for your lady to grow a stash.
08:35It is.
08:36Because you can get it taken care of without any suspicion.
08:39So good luck.
08:40Let us know how it goes, whatever you do.
08:42If you ever want to reach us, you always can.
08:43Email at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com or text us for 6969.
08:466969.
