00:00The stage that I call the great crisis, that crisis that can lead a marriage to think that it has failed,
00:08to start looking for new horizons, to start thinking about a separation,
00:13It usually occurs in two stages of married life.
00:18According to the statistics we have, from both the Ecclesiastical Tribunal and the Civil Registry,
00:23There are two major periods in married life where there is a high incidence of divorces and separations.
00:34The first one occurs within the first five years.
00:39Apparently, this is due, on the one hand, to incorrect adjustment processes.
00:46We already spoke in our first reflection about that step from courtship to marriage
00:51It is not always a very satisfactory thing; it does not always have the necessary characteristics to solidify, to consolidate.
01:02The second stage of marriage, where a strong incidence reappears,
01:08Let's say this can happen every year, but there is a statistical concentration,
01:14It reappears again between the ages of 20 and 25.
01:18It is also a very particular stage of marriage, because it is the stage where the spouses are left practically alone again.
01:26Much more so in the middle, in the kind of life we live today, where the boys,
01:32By the age of 15 or 16, they practically leave home to dedicate themselves to their studies, their activities, and their friends.
01:40And then the couple becomes very lonely.
01:43On the other hand, in men, between the ages of 40 and 50, they will experience anxiety about presenting themselves in a virile manner.
01:56Statistically, men's clothing designers and perfume brands,
02:03Statistically, they show that their largest market is men between 40 and 50 years old.
02:12It is the strong market for the most expensive perfumes and the most expensive men's clothing.
02:18It would seem as if we men during this period felt a kind of, well, I can't anymore,
02:24And then you have to start saying yes, I can.
02:29And then a particular psychological situation arises, where there is much more flirting with women,
02:37and there is a search for reaffirmation.
02:41This has, as psychologists explain, a wide range; it's not necessarily the way I'm describing it.
02:51But there is a strong incidence, this problem does exist.
02:56which from a male point of view will greatly affect this period of married life.
03:03If we add to this the fact that there is no longer so much of an incentive or point of reference,
03:09which are the children, because each one is already looking, especially at this age, to make their own independent life,
03:16We have two major elements that will have an influence,
03:21They will have a strong influence at this stage of marriages.
03:26I would then like to begin by asking ourselves this question,
03:31Is divorce really a solution?
03:35Dr. Tom Whitman is a psychologist from Philadelphia,
03:41And in his doctoral thesis he says that he believes, he thinks, he is not religious,
03:48But he thinks the solution is not to start another marriage.
03:52And he proposes these numbers, he says,
03:55in the United States, which is where he conducted this survey,
03:59He says that 70% of those who divorce remarry.
04:04Of this 70% who remarried,
04:0865% fail again.
04:11More than half of the 65% fail in second marriages.
04:15Of this 65% who remarry,
04:2175% fail in their third marriage.
