00:04hey look a walk's a walk man you got to get those steps in
00:10man 12 hours 12 hours hey look i oh shit i forgot my fit there i've got to go back
00:2312 sleepless hours later
00:37stupid fucking rock i hate those fucking
00:47what the fuck are you doing in my house
00:51what do you
00:54go it's the microwave head
00:57sit
00:57uh shoot uh that one might be gay and that one's a closet homosexual but it doesn't matter
01:05because they're all friends no one told me it was going to be like this
01:08they're all friends in the end because this is the microwave head
01:13sick
01:13what do you mean it's over there's still like three verses on the page
01:17oh god
01:20wow
01:27this place sucks
01:31i think he's dead
01:33yeah he's gone
01:34i was getting so sick
01:37this large cock
01:38no it was big girthy froggy penis
01:40it was too much of a very well
01:41dude it was so fucking big
01:43it was hairy it was hairy he's a hairy fucker too
01:45like did you see the fucking hairs on that thing
01:47yeah it was a fucking hairy dog
01:48dude it was so fucking big
01:50someone say eddie's ass
01:58what the fuck are you on about
02:04hey i can't believe you thought eddie was this
02:08well i mean that was kind of the original idea
02:12well yeah but like no
02:14because you're literally even busy
02:16listen guys just take a seat and you know what
02:18i'll get us i'll get us started with like a nice
02:21nice egg bag
02:24came all the way up here because i thought it
02:27well listen there's a guy in here
02:28like not that i digress
02:30what i'll just get
02:31what
02:35okay so yeah i'll say you know
02:38listen
02:39homie
02:40say a good few eggs
02:42and then finally
02:45what the fuck
02:48where's the eggs
02:49homie
02:50homie you dry fucking eggs
02:56oh my fucking god
02:58what are you doing here
02:59we forgot about the fucking eggs
03:04like easter eggs
03:05no like you know like the white ones
03:08not the black ones the white ones
03:10not the black ones the white ones
03:13tv
03:15can't get this damn thing turned on
03:17where did you guys find this house
03:19well
03:20we don't talk about that
03:22craigslist
03:23is that why i heard rumbling in the closet
03:32oh hey look i got the sports on
03:34oh eggs i guess they flew the coop
03:38i really thought there'd be a laugh track there
03:40so i guess that means we need to go find some eggs
03:44where the heck around here where we find eggs
03:46where the heck around here where we find eggs
03:48i forgot my fitbit
03:50whoa whoa whoa whoa
03:52there's so much
03:52okay jermine what's up
03:59yo are we being robbed
04:00oh jermine what's up
04:01fuck man
04:0515 hours
04:0715 of us
04:0815 hours
04:10you do not have to
04:1315 hours
04:16you're walking
04:28we had to jerk off
04:32Guys, I gotta get hours of my footwear, let's go!
04:40You think dolphins lay eggs?
04:50Oh god, I'm getting robbed!
04:51Oh, it's just Jeremiah.
04:54I picked up the money out of the pocket!
04:56Any eggs?
04:59Nope.
05:00Oh, hey, it looks like I'll get the plow.
05:10What are those?
05:13Stop, this is embarrassing! Stop!
05:16Man, I can't believe, even now, even with fucking all the frogs in this pond, we still haven't found any
05:22eggs.
05:24You wanna have frog eggs with your ex-Benedict?
05:28Yeah!
05:30Frog champ!
05:33What do you guys think?
05:34I've never seen a frog in this pond.
05:38Look at the movie in there.
05:39Isn't that guy supposed to be in a closet?
05:41Oh, yeah, he's a wizard now. I just pulled him out.
05:44Ah!
05:45I'm Hayden, this is Eddie.
05:48Well, we- we- we- hi, I'm Hayden, this is Eddie.
05:51Does your current life situation have you down?
05:54Well, Eddie has a perfect message- has a message for you to make you feel a little better.
06:04I don't have anything for you, give up.
06:06It's all you're gonna get.
06:07Yup.
06:07You only live this life once, so, honestly.
06:10What did you think? I was gonna be a fucking divorce lawyer?
06:12Are you kidding me? You son of a fucking-
06:15Eh, eh, they- these people swear every day.
06:18They're plebeians, it doesn't matter to them.
06:20Eh.
06:20You'll pay us anyways.
06:21They'll- they'll go do something stupid like chase their dreams anyway.
06:25Nah.
06:26If you can't get out of your marriage, at least get me to suck a dick.
06:35There's an egg here.
06:37There's white instead of black.
06:39Got nothing.
06:40That's not an egg.
06:41Face it, man, we're never gonna find an egg here.
06:44Like, I've been looking for ages and this is the closest I've-
06:47Are you eating that raw?
06:53Okay.
06:53Okay.
06:58In the distance.
07:00There's a white tower.
07:02And you're white.
07:04They're straight.
07:07Let's do this.
07:10Can we play the Rocky theme or is that copyrighted?
07:13Okay. Wait, where the fuck's Ethan?
07:15I don't know.
07:16Cut.
07:18Oh no.
07:20What?
07:22I need your help on something.
07:23Raymond Posterdog.
07:26Have you seen any fucking eggs?
07:29I don't know, man.
07:30I've been here for days.
07:33What the fuck are you doing here for days?
07:37I like the water.
07:38Um, I think I saw some eggs over there, though.
07:46Did I have that?
07:47What?
07:49No.
07:49I was here first.
07:51That's why I've been here for days, man.
07:54Fuck.
07:54You know what?
07:55Fuck you.
07:56Go fuck yourself.
07:57Go fuck yourself.
07:59You egg yourself now.
08:05You're almost there, man.
08:06Just hang on.
08:08I got you.
08:09I got you.
08:11Oh no.
08:13Oh my God, look how far it is.
08:18Ah!
08:28ARGHH!
08:29AHHHHH!
08:30Hold on.
08:53This is supposed to be in the spawn-todge?
09:02What the fuck are you doing?
09:05We're supposed to be finding eggs and not jerking off the ground.
09:09Sorry, sorry, sorry, yeah, you're right, this dimension just...
09:12I got really horny.
09:16Fucking egg people.
09:18Can't be one.
09:21I'm trying to get a good shot.
09:23Of course you are, you fucking sick.
09:26Wait.
09:28I'm egg.
09:33What's this?
09:41Oh.
09:48Oh, man.
09:50I am high as a kite.
09:56Oh, man.
09:59Look at all the grass and seeds and all the fall.
10:05Oh, man.
10:07Oh.
10:08Oh, man.
10:10He's celebrating!
10:12A joke was supposed to be here.
10:13Enemy spotted.
10:43Enemy spotted.
10:45Just eating what you can't see.
10:48Take my feet, I'll say...
10:51Look!
10:51Wow.
10:52This place sucks.
10:54I know, surely.
10:56What the fuck are you doing here?
10:58Looking.
11:00Where's the egg?
11:02Don't worry about this.
11:03I did what I did.
11:05Found it.
11:27I got a little incident with the land.
11:33That was a joke.
11:35I'm not mad.
11:36I'm not mad.
11:36Look up!
11:38Trick them off for a moosehead.
11:39Can you forehand it?
11:40They call this a salt and pepper shaker.
11:43The hunt for eggs is on.
11:47Ethan, fetch!
11:53Step aside, Ethan.
11:55Professional crack respect.
11:58Yeah, there's nothing.
12:03Huh.
12:03I think I'm brain damaged.
12:06I see an egg right there.
12:11Wait, I'm brain damaged.
12:13Why don't you go,
12:14GET DOWN THEIR EYES!
12:16Birds!
12:17Birds lay eggs!
12:21I saw them pepper shake them!
12:28Fucking coward government drones.
12:30Yeah, imagine being a fucking government drone.
12:32That's not a seagull!
12:38Watch out guys, I'm more excited.
12:40Alright.
12:41Here we are.
12:42Yeah.
12:42If the birds were guarding this place,
12:44there must be ice in here.
12:46How do we get in?
12:50Well...
12:53We're fucked.
12:54Wow.
12:58Don't worry guys.
12:59I have an idea.
13:14Don't worry guys.
13:15I have an idea.
13:17They don't have eggs.
13:18They don't have eggs.
13:21You know, you have been utterly useless this whole time.
13:26You know, Brighton's been really mean to me and we've been having an alliance with Kellen since, you know, day
13:30one.
13:30And I've won this game before and my whole thing is, okay, if you're going to treat me badly, then
13:34how are you going to treat me when it gets to, you know, getting the five cents in a dirty
13:37song?
13:39I mean, to be fair, like, last time I did this, like, I did get in trouble with those guys.
13:44Yes, I was a bit weird.
13:45I mean, yes, you know, when I was walking around the island, they said I was vandalizing, I was defecating
13:50on all the sea turtles and everything.
13:53Many months later.
14:28There's a lot of Jaguar in the darks around the island.
14:33I mean, I'm not scared of that.
14:35I mean, I know.
14:38I mean, I'm a little stressed out.
14:41I mean, I just kind of want to eat.
14:42I'm not scared of that, like, you know.
14:44I mean, I'm scared of that, you know.
14:46I mean, I'm scared of it.
14:46I don't know.
14:46I can't even see it.
14:50Can't even get up.
14:50Can't even look like a really good one.
14:52Oh.
14:53And you get a really good, like,
14:57You get, like, a really good
14:58V-point.
15:00Okay, one more, one more, and you get
15:02a really good V-point.
15:14You have something on your neck.
15:17Ethan!
15:20Ethan!
15:22We're leaving!
15:24No eggs.
15:26Still no eggs.
15:28Back to the cabin.
15:3625 yards.
15:39Was it not just 15?
15:41Oh, yeah, but we had to stop for, like,
15:43you know, like, the hookers, right?
15:45My aunt didn't take an hour.
15:46Yeah, you took an hour just a bit.
15:49Like, possibly.
15:50Okay.
15:51Point is,
15:52we need to find the fucking eggs.
15:54Hmm.
15:56We've looked at the beach.
15:58We've looked at the playground where kids are.
16:01We've looked in the middle of both the familiar.
16:04Where could it be?
16:09All right.
16:10All right.
16:11There we go.
16:12All right.
16:13Let me fill you guys in, okay?
16:16So, I think what we're gonna do...
16:19Oh, crap!
16:21It's just Jeremiah.
16:22It's just Jeremiah.
16:23Whew!
16:26He's still here?
16:29Is there a bad piece in the closet still?
16:31Oh, no, I let him out.
16:34He just let him out a while ago.
16:36Yeah, I let him out a while ago.
16:37Ethan, get him.
16:42Listen.
16:43I know we saw Jeremiah with him, but it still don't happen.
16:48It still don't happen.
16:50I don't know.
16:51Maybe we should get some, like, grass instead, maybe.
16:53Oh, no, no.
17:00He's just trying to turn on the bicycle.
17:07Hi!
17:08Hi!
17:09Hi!
17:12Hi!
17:13Hi!
17:14Hi!
17:14Hi!
17:15Hi!
17:16Hi!
17:32Come on, Ethan.
