I Don't Owe Him Money... I Owe Him The Truth | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 51) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

I Don't Owe Him Money... I Owe Him The Truth | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 51)   "Where Everyday Conversations Lead to Financial Awareness"   Featuring: Wisdom Wednesday, Mentorship Series   Wednesday | August 26th, 2026   Broadcasting on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES   https://leringaines.com  https://linktr.ee/leringaines  https://www.facebook.com/leringaines  http://instagram.com/leringaines  https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines  http://twitter.com/leringaines  https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines  https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines  https://kick.com/leringaines  https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines   Song of The Day: "Truth Is" by Fantasia  Released 2004 | Free Yourself   Burning Questions for Reflections!  Are you protecting your relationship from a difficult financial truth, or protecting yourself from the consequences of telling the truth?   Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions...  Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com   DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, KICK, Twitch, DailyMotion)   Check out my FREE Monthly digital Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!   #LerinGaines #FinancialCoach #BlackDiamondConsultations #DebtFreeLiving #WhispersofWisdom #VacationWithMe #BurningQuestions #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #KICK #Twitch #DailyMotion #BlackDiamondConsultationsNetwork #411PODCAST #DISC6 #Vitality   DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.   411 PODCAST  DISC 6: Vitality  Track 51: I Don't Owe Him Money... I Owe Him The Truth  ©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network  LerinGaines.com

Transcript

00:28Let's get started.

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06:13Let's get started.

06:16that we are moving in the right direction. I love the growth and the progress of what we have

06:21created here, right here on the 4-in-1 podcast. I dropped a huge segment of what we used to

06:30do

06:30here every week. I dropped it this year and I was a little nervous about it and I went back

06:35and

06:35forth, but that was just something that God was telling me that that part of this podcast is no

06:40longer. And the minute that I let that go, it seems like, you know, we are elevating to the next

06:46level. That's what I needed to do. I needed to get out of my own way and break away from

06:51what was the

06:52norm. And I challenge each and every one of you out there, if there's something in your life that you

06:57know that may not be serving you anymore, and if it makes you nervous and if you're scared and if

07:04you're unsure, that's probably the direction that you need to go into. See, we go back and we fall

07:09back into familiar out, just get that word right, familiarity. And we think that that's cool and

07:15we're safe because that's what, you know, our emotions do to us. That's what our nervous system

07:21does to us. It makes us think that that thing that we've been doing for so long, that thing that

07:25no

07:26longer serves us, that thing that might be very detrimental to us, it feels so easy and it feels so

07:31simple and it's good, but that's not, that's not it. So I'm not here to go on about that, but

07:36I just

07:36wanted to speak about that. Again, I most certainly cannot do this without my executive producer. I

07:43want to thank God for giving me the strength, the courage, the wisdom, the understanding

07:47and the drive and the passion to continue to do this. I have been working so hard behind the scenes

07:53and it looks like I will be able to show you all some great things going forward. So it's coming

07:59real

07:59soon. Just stick around. And when I'm not in my right frame of mind, God pushes me in the direction

08:06to straighten me up and get me there. I want to thank Bold Journey Magazine. Thank you for another

08:12feature. So that will be coming soon too as well. And yeah, this isn't the anniversary edition,

08:19so I need to move on and get into this. So, but again, just so amped up because there's so

08:24many

08:24great things that are, you know, coming down the pike. So thank you all. And with that, let's get on

08:32into this song of the day. Truth Is by Fantasia, released in 2004 off of her album, Free Yourself.

08:51So the truth is, is that sometimes we need to be truthful with ourselves because it's simple.

09:00When you go out there, if you're not who you say you are, because some of us are not who

09:05we say we

09:06are, we show up in a world differently. We put on different faces, different masks and just play the

09:14game. I heard somebody say that to me. You got to learn how to play the game. And I wanted

09:18to say

09:19absolutely not because I don't play games. I'm a grown man. And in this moment in my life, I want

09:24to go on the straight and narrow and I don't have time to play games or fall into people's traps.

09:32Play the game. Can't believe that. How about you just be truthful with yourself? The truth is,

09:38is that sometimes we are not truthful with ourselves. So how can we be truthful with other people?

09:45We're real quick to go ahead and tell somebody a lie, but it's that lie that you tell yourself

09:50before you even step out the door, before you even step out your front door. Are you lying to yourself

09:56or are you telling the truth? See John 8, 32, and ye shall know the truth and the truth shall

10:08make you free.

10:09See, the King James Version says make you free, but different versions out there will twist it up and

10:15say set you free. Make you free. Let's start right there. But for those of you who want to say

10:22set you

10:24free, let's talk about being set free. You got to come with the truth first. Otherwise, you're going to

10:31be trapped up and wrapped up into bondage and captivity and the lies that you have told.

10:38Now, when I was a kid, I think I told one lie to my mother. And let me tell you,

10:46she gave me some

10:47get right right away. And she didn't even have to put her hands on me. She didn't have to do

10:51anything.

10:52It was the fact that she told me that once you tell a lie, you're going to have to tell

10:56another lie.

10:57And you're going to have to tell another lie. And you're going to have to tell another lie to get

11:01out of the line. They don't even remember the first lie that you said in the first place.

11:04And she said it in such a way. And also let me know at the same time that she hated

11:10liars.

11:12And that it disappointed her. And she couldn't stand anybody who told a lie. So if anybody knows

11:19that from a child's standpoint, and I know I'm going deep, before we even know who God is,

11:27the first form of God that we experience as a child is our mother. So one thing that you don't

11:35want to do is to let down the only version of God that you know at the moment before you

11:40actually know

11:41who God is. Because God used our mothers as a vessel to bring us into this world. So that alone

11:50and that speech and that conversation and that teaching and that moment that my mother gave me

11:56as a child, let me know, okay, Laren, this is something that we don't do. And I never told a

12:02lie

12:02to my mother ever again after that moment, because she let me know how powerful and how disrespectful it was

12:10to tell a lie. Now I'm going to take it back to John 18, 32. And ye shall know the

12:16truth and the truth

12:17shall make you free. And some people say, what is the truth? Well, you know, we do here, we remix

12:24it

12:24and I'm going to just give it to you the way that some of y'all might need it. Spando,

12:32Spando, excuse me,

12:34Spando Ballad. They have a song called True. I know y'all know what that song is. And if you

12:39don't know

12:39that, for the young people out there, Queenpin went ahead and did the remix of True.

12:46Millie Vanilli, I know y'all know that group. They have a song called Girl, You Know It's True.

12:52Cindy Lauper hit us off with True Colors. My girl Mary J. Blige has a song called Telling the Truth.

13:01So listen, if you tell the truth and you know the truth, you will be free. You won't have to

13:09be

13:09caught up in bondage, caught up in captivity, looking over your shoulder, asking and questioning,

13:16worrying about if somebody's going to figure you out and you'll be able to sleep better at night.

13:20Some of us can't do those things because as my grandmother used to say, the truth isn't in you.

13:26And boy, that was enough. I already told you the story about my mother, but now I'm getting to the

13:31story about my grandmother. And whenever somebody wasn't coming to her correct, she would hit you with

13:37the truth isn't in you. Now I got myself all mixed up. Oh, no. My grandmother would come to you

13:49with

13:49something real dope and it would actually shake you and it could put you into tears. And I remember it

13:54as a kid. She wouldn't even say she would go on first and call you a liar. You are a

14:00lie. And the

14:01truth isn't in you. And your mammy named Mara. That's what she would say. You a lie. And the

14:08truth ain't in you. And your mammy named Mara. And she would go in on you. And that's enough that

14:13would shake a little four or five year old and let you know, yeah, now they already know the

14:17game with the game. So I already knew back in the day that I wanted to be set free from

14:22all of that

14:22nonsense because I wasn't telling any lies. So anyway, I know that I went around and around and around.

14:31And a circle with this, but it was needed. And you shall know the truth and a truth shall make

14:38you free. And for those of you who want to say set, but scripture says make, I don't know what

14:45other versions are out there, but make you free. Song of the day. Truth is just tell the truth.

14:53Truth is by Fantasia released in 2004 off of her debut album, Free Yourself. Yes, we are here,

15:03ladies and gentlemen.

15:13All right. So let's get on up into this. Go ahead and reach out to author, poet, birdman313. Let's see

15:23what he has going on tonight. What's going on. Hey, how's it going? It's going. It's going.

15:45I know you're going to say something. Go ahead.

15:48No, no, no. I'm going to leave it alone because, hey, y'all, all them old sayings, I heard it

15:53too.

15:54My mom, hey, boy, she used to call me and dad. She said, you and your dad just alike. All

16:00y'all do

16:00is sit around and lie. Yeah. Let me tell you, I remember when my grandmother would drop that line,

16:08I sat there and I cried a couple of times and that's just nothing but words. But that's how I

16:13was as a kid. When somebody call you a lie, that'll mess you up. Yeah. My mom and I had

16:20mom and one of

16:21my aunts, they used to always, my aunt used to say, now, you know, my husband is a big liar.

16:27And then

16:28he'd turn around, he said, but I can't lie like his dad. They would call me back and forth. And

16:40I just

16:40sit there. I wouldn't say nothing. And my aunt looked at me and she said, you know, not to say

16:44nothing. I'm like, you right. I don't have a word to say. So, hey, yeah, man. You know, I'm like,

16:52when you

16:53said all of that, I'm like, yeah, that bringing back some memories. Yeah. Yeah. I had to hit,

17:01I had to hit them with the songs, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was trying to think of the songs

17:10that got the word truth in it or true. And that's what I came up with. Oh, there's so many

17:16of them

17:17out there. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yes it is. Yes it is. So I have been told that

17:23the heat is

17:24getting ready to come up, come back. So right now, every day that I've been getting up, it's been

17:29feeling like fall and I've been needing a little jacket and I actually put the heat on a couple

17:33of times and I don't appreciate it, but I've been told that don't worry cause the heat getting ready

17:39to make a comeback. So what's it like over there? And it's been a hundred since the last time we

17:45talked,

17:46it's been a hundred every day, every day. Like I said, bring it, bring, bring it on this way.

17:55And you know, they're, they're talking about, Oh, well, hopefully, you know, starting tomorrow

18:01is going to be like 97, but it won't be a hundred. I'm like, yeah, okay, whatever, you know, but

18:07you

18:07know, Hey, after a while you get used to it and you don't even think about it. Well, I'll tell

18:15you one

18:15thing I won't get used to is the cold weather. So I know it's a approaching well that, you know,

18:22that too. Cause you know, I got a feeling we might, cause it seemed like every four years

18:29Houston will get hit with some snow or some ice and you know, it only lasts. And you know,

18:38we are, you know, like our power grid down here is they said they have strength in it,

18:43but a lot of people just don't believe it. Cause we'll have so many issues with it.

18:50Whenever, whenever they tell you that they did something, believe the opposite.

18:56Yes. Yeah. And anything, but that's besides the point. Yeah. Um, I was just speaking about

19:05that about a week ago about how y'all have your own little separate power grid and it's

19:10not connected to everything else because Texas has his own little way of doing things. It's

19:17like his own little country right there. I mean, even the government, you know, even the government,

19:22it seemed like it's separate from everything, you know, everybody else is, it's just, you

19:29know, I, I try not to think about it. Yeah. Cause it's, uh, yeah, it is what it is. I

19:37know

19:37what you mean. Yeah. It's, it's just, it seemed like everything is different. You know, the laws

19:42are different, you know, I mean, Hey, it's just after you live down here for a while, it just

19:51gets to the point where you really don't, I don't, I have to, to me, I always tell people

19:59I have so much to do that. I don't even pay attention to it. I know what you mean. And

20:07I try to keep, I try to keep busy with other things, you know, instead, um, just like right

20:14now, man, I, uh, my, um, video program is I was, I want to do a couple of new videos

20:21from some poems that I wrote and I'm having issues. I'm thinking I might, might have to

20:29delete it and then get a new program. And I've been, I've been working with it this morning

20:36thing and I just can't seem to get it. So I got a feeling that's the direction I'm a go

20:44where I'm just going to delete the old program off the computer completely. Cause I I've had

20:50this program for at least five years. Oh, okay. Yes. Sometimes you just gotta like, just put

21:04your hands up and say it is what it is. Like I did that a couple of times last year

21:09when

21:09I was building things with my website and stuff. I was like, yeah, I don't know how to do this.

21:14And I just gave it up, sat there and prayed and said, you know what God, whatever you want

21:19with this is whatever you want. And then I'm telling you, sometimes I would get back on a

21:23computer the next day and that same thing that was bothering me all of a sudden it started

21:28working fine. Yeah. I've done that many times where, you know, I just say, I'll take a deep

21:36breath, come back to it and everything, everything going, you know, it's going fine. But right now

21:43this program I was working with the other day, I, I did a video and Hey man, you know,

21:49and then I looked today and it says that it's something has to do with my mic. And I'm like,

21:55my mic, I don't, you know, I don't know. I've, and I've been searching all today to try to find

22:02out what it's saying. So I'm like, okay, maybe the mic on the program isn't any good anymore. So

22:12I'm going to try one more thing. I'm going to try to, um, when we get through here, I'm probably

22:18check on it. And I'm what I may do is, um, send them an email to see what I can

22:27do. And if they say

22:28I need to, you know, delete it and, and, you know, put another one on, then that's what I'm going

22:34to do.

22:34Yeah. Now I'm going to switch things up a little bit and I know we, we, we got, we got

22:41to get

22:41moving. So were you a fan of Dolly Parton? I know I want to give her a spot too. So

22:47rest in peace to

22:48Dolly Parton. Everybody's talking about it. I had nothing against her. I mean, she has some nice

22:54songs. I didn't realize, I did not realize how much or how friendly she was and how she touched

23:07so many, you know, especially the musicians. Yeah. Yeah. And she was, she was given, she was a given

23:15person and she was saying that she didn't do the music for money. You know, uh, money didn't change

23:24her. And I'm like, wow, man, you know, it's, it's very few people that you can say that about,

23:35you know, that success didn't change them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was, uh, very shocked about the, uh,

23:44the Whitney Houston, uh, remake of, I will always love you the money that, and this is what I read

23:50and heard and I believe, so don't quote me on it, but the proceeds that she made from that song,

23:57which obviously skyrocketed and did better than her original version. She made a lot of money off of it,

24:04but she gave it to, I guess, um, housing for, uh, I want to say this is right. Inner city

24:15kids. I've

24:16might have it wrong, but basically. No, that's true. That's true. I would, I was surprised too.

24:22When I seen, they said she made, um, she made 10 million off of Whitney Houston's version. And I'm

24:30like, wow, man. And then they said that she, um, she built, um, a city for, for the inner city

24:39blacks.

24:40Yeah. Because people always used to tease her and say, are you like, uh, jealous or upset that

24:46Whitney Houston sang it better than you? And she was like, absolutely not. Cause you know how much

24:50money I made off of it? Yeah. And when, when I read, I heard that and well, I watched the

25:05special last

25:06night that they had. And, um, when I heard that and then I read it, I'm like, wow, man, that's

25:13amazing.

25:17Well, but you know who, who else did a lot of donation, but they never really got a lot

25:24of, um, a lot of airplay about it. Who's that? Michael, Michael Jackson. Oh yeah. He was

25:33known for that though. What the children's hospitals and stuff like that. Yeah. He, he, um, when

25:38he, um, he got burnt, um, doing that commercial, um, that Pepsi commercial, the money that, that

25:45he got in the suit, he donated to the burn set center. And I mean, you know, like he had

25:53Neverland, you know, for the kids and all he got was bad press from all of that, you know?

26:03Cause I meant, well, I don't know. I wasn't there, but somebody said, you said that the

26:15reason why things that happened to him is because he was the first man alive to crack the music

26:21industry. Now it's not, it's not meant for people to crack the code because they want to

26:27keep you stuck and all of those other things. But apparently he cracked the code and the

26:33powers that be not, ain't they not with that? Yeah. So no. And another one might be Prince

26:42might be another one who started to crack the code and that could be a reason as well. So

26:49I don't know. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. That's been said too. So, Hey, I don't know. It wasn't

26:56there and Hey, right. Right. All right. We go on and get right on into tonight's assignment.

27:04I know we spent some time talking about music and that's cool. That's good too. Um, so let's

27:11just get into tonight's assignment. We are headed to, I believe we're going, yeah, Tampa, Florida.

27:19And, um, we have Jasmine. Jasmine says, I've been with my boyfriend for almost four years.

27:27We're not married, but we've been talking seriously about marriage last month. He asked me how much I

27:33had saved. I lied. I told him about $18,000. The truth is I have less than $4,000. The

27:42rest went

27:43towards something I haven't told him about. My mother has been struggling financially for years.

27:49She's borrowed money from me more times than I can count. Sometimes she pays me back. Usually she

27:59doesn't. I've helped with the rent, car repairs, phone bills, and even legal expenses. I told my

28:09boyfriend how much money, Oh, excuse me. Let me back this up. I've never told my boyfriend how much

28:14money I've been giving my family. I told myself it wasn't his business. Technically we're not married,

28:22but when we started talking about buying a house together, that's when my life started feeling

28:28different. He thinks we're starting from the same place financially, but we're not. He has savings.

28:35I have responsibilities that aren't technically mine, but I feel responsible for them anyway.

28:42Last week, he asked me to start putting money aside for our future down payment. I wanted to say

28:48yes. Instead, I changed the subject. That night, I realized I wasn't protecting my family anymore.

28:54I was protecting a version of myself that I wanted him to believe. The truth is I don't want him

29:00to,

29:01excuse me. The truth is I don't know how to tell him that my family depends on me financially.

29:08I'm scared he'll think that I'm irresponsible. I'm scared he'll think my family will become his

29:13financial responsibility if we get married. And honestly, I'm scared he might be right

29:18to reconsider the future. I love him, but if we're talking about building a life together,

29:25shouldn't he know what he's actually building with me? I don't owe him money, but I think I owe him

29:31the

29:31truth. How much financial transparency does a relationship require before marriage? Now,

29:38Birdman, what do you have for Jasmine? Wow. I've read this a couple of times. I have,

29:47you know, my mind changed each and every time.

29:54The first question would be, why is she

29:58on the truth? Say that one more time. And then I would ask. Okay. Why is she scared to tell

30:07him?

30:07The truth. You still there? Yeah, I'm here. I'm okay. Okay. I'm sorry. And then I would ask her if

30:28he did that,

30:29how would you feel? Hmm. Because the first thing she was think it's another woman involved.

30:42Where's this money going to? I mean, and what gots me is she helping her brother with all this.

30:52these different bills. I just don't, I just don't get it. Um, if he go to jail, he did, he

30:59just need to

31:00stay in jail. No, I always told my kids, you know, it's, um, you go to jail. Hey man, you

31:09just,

31:10you know, whatever time they give you, Hey, you did the crime, you do the time. And, and, you know,

31:17uh, cause my parents, that's, that was the thing that they, they told me all the time. You know,

31:23my dad said, Oh, you go to jail. I didn't come to visit you. And my mom said, Hey, you

31:30know,

31:30you commit the crime, you do the time. Hmm. And so when I was raising my boys and my daughter,

31:41I told them the same thing. I said, look here, man, you committed. If you committed the crime,

31:48you do the time. But if you didn't commit the crime that I would help you. I mean,

31:54she's helping him with so much stuff. It's like people, when I see people doing that,

32:01it's like, he just don't care. Cause he know his sister going to help him. Absolutely.

32:08The mother, I guess there, her, you know,

32:14her husband is nowhere around or, you know,

32:18he could have passed, but it seems like the,

32:21the mother doesn't have, you know,

32:26um, good knowledge of messing up with money either.

32:31Um, you know, she pays it back sometimes, sometimes she don't. And,

32:36and it just makes me wonder,

32:40are they all because she has a money,

32:46she has a man and both of them can sit back. You know,

32:50I wouldn't be surprised if the mother and the brother didn't sit back and talk and

32:55say, Hey, she'll help us out. Just go ahead and do what you got to do.

33:00That's the way they think.

33:05Yeah.

33:08Um, um, wow.

33:12But yeah, I would, I would ask her if he was doing this,

33:17how would you feel? I mean, you, how can,

33:20I mean,

33:20you already just started the relationship out bad anyway,

33:24by lying about how much money you got saved.

33:28Yeah.

33:28So what else, what, and then, you know,

33:30then the question is what else have you been lying about?

33:34Exactly.

33:36Yeah.

33:36Like that, it's like the, I was always told once you tell one lie,

33:40you got to tell another lie.

33:41And then now you just caught up in a mess and the truth,

33:46the truth will set you free.

33:49Let's let me take this to the top here.

33:52So they've been together for about four years.

33:54That's cool.

33:55They're not married.

33:56They've been talking seriously about marriage.

33:59He asked you how much,

34:00and then you just outright came with a lie.

34:02So, you know what?

34:04Let's just call it what we want to call it.

34:06You like the lie.

34:08Like my grandmother say,

34:09you are lying.

34:10The truth ain't in you.

34:11You, now you couldn't just tell the truth.

34:13Why?

34:14Like you said, why are you lying?

34:17What are you lying about?

34:19What are you doing with your money?

34:20That's not right.

34:22Which is probably it.

34:24That probably would not sit right with him.

34:26That you would have to lie about it.

34:27Because if you told him that you had less than $4,000,

34:30he's probably going to ask you,

34:31well, what you've been doing with your money?

34:33This is somebody that you're trying to build the future with.

34:36So he probably was going to ask you,

34:38what have you been doing with your money?

34:39So I guess the question that I would ask is,

34:42well, what have you been doing with your money?

34:44Because obviously you've been doing something that's not right.

34:46So we're going to find out what that is.

34:49Now, your mother has been struggling financially for years.

34:51She borrows money, doesn't pay it back.

34:54Sometimes she does.

34:55She has been struggling financially for years.

34:58So now that's where you're getting it from.

35:01So your mother has not been a great example.

35:04And that's exactly where you're getting this from.

35:07And you are not on your part.

35:11There clearly hasn't been part because he borrows money for rent,

35:14car repairs, phone bills, legal expenses, all types of stuff.

35:18And you're the one that's doing it, paying it for him.

35:21So your parents, I don't know what's up with the father.

35:26But your parents have not shown you what good financial literacy is.

35:33And therefore, you are repeating the pattern,

35:37which we spoke about several times here.

35:40This is what you call generational curses, generational patterns.

35:43And you are repeating this.

35:46This is just this is too deep.

35:50And it's real messy.

35:52And it's turned bad really quick.

35:56Now, you you're a liar.

35:57And I hate to say it like that.

35:59But you said it.

36:00First of all, I didn't say it.

36:01You called your own self a lie.

36:02So you're a liar and you're lying about building this future with this person.

36:09Your relationship is a lie.

36:11I don't even know where that comes from.

36:14I have no idea.

36:17This is what gets me twisted.

36:20You have responsibilities that aren't technically yours.

36:24But you feel responsible for them anyway.

36:27The question is why.

36:30You didn't get into the legal situation.

36:33You didn't pay your car note.

36:36You're not the one that wasn't paying your rent.

36:39But you feel responsible for it anyway.

36:43Now, I'm assuming that this is just because this is family.

36:47But that's a situation there.

36:49You feel responsible for it.

36:51So when did you grow up thinking that you have to take care of your parents?

36:56So that obviously is some sort of dynamic that might have been going on in your household.

37:01That your mother raised you to say, oh, you're going to take care of me.

37:08You're going to get out and get a job and you're going to take care of me.

37:11At what point do you not just run away from that?

37:15Now, I have grown up with people who have had parents that weren't no good.

37:20I don't mean to say it like that, but it's reality where they didn't do anything.

37:24And then they got out as kids and teenagers and got a job.

37:28And then because they got a job and they started producing money, that their parents that didn't do anything and

37:34sat around all day expected them to buy them something, expected them to drive them here to there everywhere and

37:40do things for them.

37:40And the good ones, what they did was they ran away and they never looked back because it's not your

37:47responsibility to take care of your parents.

37:50Now, when they get older and they can't do it and they can't fend for themselves.

37:54Yeah.

37:55But if your parents can get up and go to work and bend at the waist and pick something up

38:01off the ground and can be productive, that is not your responsibility to do it.

38:06And I know this might be harsh, but we're just going on and on and on.

38:10I'm just saying.

38:12But what you're saying is the truth, though.

38:16I mean, it's like, you know, and that's like, I think about my sister and I, you know, she's younger

38:22than me.

38:23And the only time I, you know, like, I took care of her daughter for a little bit when she

38:33had her.

38:34And I took care of her son because she was going through some, she was going through some, some problems.

38:40And my sister had, had left the kids with my, over at my aunt's house and my aunt was talking

38:49about it.

38:49So I said, well, I'll come and get one of them, which I did.

38:52I came and got one of them.

38:54And, you know, well, first it was me and my cousin, one of my cousins.

38:58And so, like, I, I kept them for, I kept the daughter for a couple of months.

39:06Then I let, you know, she came back and got the daughter.

39:09Then I kept her son.

39:11And, you know, the thing about that was, was my dad, he had said, why is you doing this?

39:20It's not your responsibility.

39:21It's your sister, the one that's messing up.

39:26And, you know, I know that one day I come home and I'm looking for my, I'm looking for my

39:33nephew and, you know, my kids, Michael and their mother, we was living together at the time.

39:40And I walk in, I said, well, you know, where is he at?

39:43And she said, oh, your sister.

39:44And she said, look, I, I did nothing wrong, nothing to her, you know, and she came over here threatening

39:50me.

39:52And all we was doing was trying to take care of him.

39:56And, you know, my sister didn't speak to me for about five or six years after that.

40:06And my mom said, I wouldn't let it bother me.

40:09She said, all you was doing was making sure that boy didn't go to foster care.

40:16And she came in and, you know, the way she did it was she waited till I went to work

40:22and then she went over there and she threatened, you know, her and she said, I'm not arguing with you.

40:29If you want him, you know, it's your son, you know, and she said my sister was, you know, cussing

40:36at her and, you know, talking crazy.

40:39And she said, look, she said she called him in there and she said, hey.

40:44And so she left.

40:46And so my aunt is like, why, why she do all that?

40:52So she didn't do that when she came here.

40:54She said, oh, she knew she could do that with her.

40:56Come on.

40:56My aunt said, she knew how to put some on her.

40:58You know what I mean?

41:00Yeah.

41:02Everybody knew when my aunt had her robe on and she kept her hand in her pocket, they already knew.

41:11Oh, okay.

41:12She is, you know, yeah.

41:14But, and I learned then, so it's sometimes she's going to have to learn, like her brother, he's going to

41:21have to be, if he's a man, and I say it like that, because that's how it was always said

41:26to me, you're going to stand on your own two feet.

41:29And whatever happens, man, you've got to deal with yourself.

41:33Man, I had many cars broke down.

41:35I never asked my parents to help me get it fixed.

41:38I just, I just said, hey, I'm getting to work and when I get the money, I'll get it fixed.

41:45You know, this one here, she says, I'm scared that he'll think that I'm irresponsible.

41:50Well, reality is that you are.

41:53Let's just, let's, we talking about speaking the truth.

41:56Let's just say it.

41:57The truth shall make you free.

41:59Well, you are irresponsible.

42:00It doesn't make sense.

42:01And this part here really is, this is it right here.

42:06This is the icing on a cake.

42:08And this is probably why you have been telling lies.

42:11Because you say, I'm scared he'll think that my family will become his financial responsibility if we get married.

42:17And you know what I have to say to that?

42:20Yes.

42:21Absolutely not.

42:23Your family will not become his financial responsibility.

42:26And if he finds out that you are doing all of these things, there will be no marriage if he

42:31has some sort of common sense.

42:33And what is wrong with you that you think that you think that your family and all of that nonsense

42:40and all of that drama and all of that mess is going to become his financial responsibility?

42:45Because that's what you're trying to say if you get married.

42:48Because otherwise, that wouldn't have even came out in this situation here.

42:53And that is wrong.

42:56And you say you're scared that he might reconsider the future.

42:59Well, if he has some common sense, he would reconsider the future.

43:03And he would probably run.

43:04And then this is another one.

43:07You said you love him.

43:09And my response is, no, you don't.

43:11You don't even love yourself to stop the foolishness that is going on in your world.

43:18Therefore, you cannot love him.

43:20You think that this is love.

43:21But lies, you don't lie to people that you love.

43:25And this is just a disaster.

43:28This is a disaster waiting to happen.

43:31I think it's disrespectful to yourself.

43:34You're being disrespectful to yourself.

43:36And you don't owe him money.

43:38It's your money.

43:39But you do owe him the truth.

43:41And financial transparency is very important.

43:49Yeah.

43:50Transparency is important in general.

43:52Forget about financial.

43:53But just being transparent and truthful in any type of friendship, relationship.

43:59This is just bad.

44:02Yeah.

44:02And, you know, everything you say, I agree with.

44:05You know, because, you know, she's saying things.

44:09Like, in a lot of ways, she's kind of hoping that he don't leave her and that he do start

44:20helping out.

44:20That's the way I feel.

44:22Because she's thinking it already.

44:25Yeah.

44:27Yeah.

44:28No good.

44:29But it's not his responsibility to help her with her brother or her mother.

44:37And if she has some, if she really thinks about it, it's not even her responsibility to help them.

44:44They need to help themselves.

44:46That's why I'm saying the brother, he needs to grow up and be a man and take his own responsibility

44:55and work them out.

44:57Because, like I said, as long as she continues to do that, he's going to always lean on her until,

45:04you know, I hate to say it like that, until she passed away.

45:10Or he passed away.

45:11But he's going to always, always lean on her.

45:14And, I mean, I've seen it.

45:19I've seen it with family members.

45:22And I'm like, oh, man, how can y'all do that?

45:26You know, I've seen it.

45:27Like I said, I have a cousin, man.

45:29And she have a three-bedroom home.

45:32And she got, like, ten people up in there.

45:35Yeah, no.

45:36Mm-mm.

45:37And I'm like, how, why?

45:42Because she was the oldest sister.

45:44And she felt like she got, because, you know, their mother passed away, you know, and she just felt like

45:52she got to take care of everybody.

45:54I mean, she even had her dad and his girlfriend staying there.

45:57And I was like, I just don't get it.

46:00And I try to ask, you know, I'm like, wow, man, how you going, you done bought this home.

46:05And her husband, he just walking around, you know, skinning and grinning.

46:12And I'm like, like, man, you know what, dude, you, you know, and I almost told him one time, you're

46:18not even a man.

46:19But, you know, I didn't, I didn't want no issues.

46:24And she always said, well, hey, cuz, how come you don't come around to see me?

46:28And I'm like, you know, why I'm gonna come around over here when you already got 10 family members living

46:35with you?

46:36Mm-mm.

46:38One of them is laying on the floor just flat out drunk all the time.

46:42Nah, that's all right.

46:43I'll stay where I'm at.

46:45I know that's right.

46:48Mm-mm.

46:50Wow.

46:51I think we did some justice here with Jasmine.

46:55You may not like some of the responses, and I get it.

46:58Some people may not like it.

47:00You might say, hey, why are you so harsh?

47:03Why are you keeping it real the way you're keeping it real?

47:07Because that's just the way I know how to do it.

47:10And like I said, when I was growing up, I heard this, too.

47:13The truth hurts.

47:15Sometimes you need that harsh reality.

47:17Sometimes you need that get right potion to get you in line.

47:22It'll make you start thinking a little bit different versus somebody who will be pacifying the situation and telling you

47:28what you want to hear.

47:30Yeah.

47:33That's true.

47:34I've heard that, too.

47:36You know, the truth hurts.

47:39Yeah.

47:40You know.

47:41The truth hurts.

47:42And as my grandmother would say, the truth ain't in you.

47:48I don't know where she got that last part from, but it used to make me go all the way

47:57up when she's going to say that.

48:01Oh, my goodness.

48:03There you go.

48:04All right.

48:05So what you got going on this week?

48:08Let me see.

48:09This week, this week, Saturday, I think I'm going to go ahead and do a Saturday Night Live.

48:19It's a reading out of Austin on Zoom.

48:22And then Sunday, out of New York, Artful Dodger.

48:26I haven't been there in a couple of months, so I guess I'm going to do that Sunday.

48:32Other than that, I've been writing a lot of new stuff, a lot of new stuff.

48:38You know, I mean, and like I said, trying to get this program straightened out because my old video program,

48:47I have it on one of my other computers, but I haven't used it in so long that I kind

48:53of forgot how to use it.

48:54You know, I can put the video in.

48:56It's just saving the video.

48:58But, you know, you can find my books at Amazon and Goodreads, you know, at Birdman313.

49:09You can find my videos on YouTube.com slash authorpoetbirdman31355.

49:19You can go, I'm on Spotify, Coffee, Wine, and Word platform at Birdman313.

49:27I'm on Instagram, which I've been posting, you know, pictures.

49:32I've posted a few videos.

49:38It's Birdman31355.

49:40All right, all right, all right.

49:42Those are the things I have going.

49:47And now tomorrow we got the, again, by the time y'all hear this, we're already going to celebrate this.

49:54But tomorrow we got the recording of the sixth year anniversary of the 4-in-1 podcast.

50:02So I'll be seeing you tomorrow.

50:03Are you going to send a link out?

50:05Oh, yeah, that'll definitely be sent out prior to taping.

50:11So, yeah, we'll see you tomorrow for that.

50:13And other than that, I'm just chilling, taking it all in.

50:19Yeah, because I have a couple of my friends from college.

50:23They even asked me when I was going to do something live again.

50:27And I told them as soon as I get the link, I'll let y'all know.

50:34Oh, yeah.

50:35So part three of the live version of the podcast is going to be the last week of September.

50:43So next month.

50:45So we'll be live again next month.

50:47Okay.

50:47Yeah.

50:48So tomorrow night we're not doing anything.

50:51Tomorrow night we're going to record and it won't be live, though.

50:56But, yeah, we'll record.

50:57Oh, okay.

50:59So, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow for that.

51:01Okay.

51:02Yeah, because even Michael asked me and I was thinking it was going to be live.

51:06And so I got to let him know that it's just a recording and I'll send the information.

51:12Well, he gets it anyway.

51:15Yeah, we're going to record it and then it's going to broadcast directly afterwards.

51:21So they'll be able to listen to it tomorrow.

51:24Okay.

51:25Yeah.

51:27All right.

51:28So on that note, it's time to get on up out of here.

51:31I'll talk to you tomorrow.

51:33Okay.

51:34With a couple other friends.

51:36So, yeah, we'll see you tomorrow night.

51:38All right.

51:39Take care.

51:40And thank you for having me on here.

51:42Yes.

51:43Yes.

51:43Talk to you tomorrow.

51:44Take care.

51:45Good night.

51:45Yep.

51:47All right, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.

51:49That was author, poet, Birdman 313.

52:01So, yes, I have a very, like, strict schedule when it comes to how we record and stuff.

52:06But since it is the six-year anniversary of the 411 podcast, I will be doing a very special, impromptu

52:16version of the show.

52:18So that's going to air prior to this episode.

52:23So it's going to flow a certain way.

52:26So in any case, yeah, we record some of the shows ahead of time and they get processed and, you

52:34know, all that stuff at a later date.

52:36So, in any case, thank you all so much for six years.

52:39I appreciate it.

52:40Again, by the time you listen to this, the episode, the anniversary edition will have already aired.

52:47So go back and watch that if you're listening to this now.

52:51So you can go ahead and celebrate with us.

52:53I have a bunch of friends coming through that are going to come through.

52:56And we're just going to have a great time celebrating and talking and, you know, just being in a moment

53:02for where we are and where we have arrived and a growth and all of that great stuff.

53:06And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, I want to say thank you so much.

53:10It's time for us to get on up out of here and I will see you when I see you.

53:15Take care, y'all.

53:15Have a good night.

53:38Have a good night.

54:10Have a good night.

54:44Have a good night.

I Don't Owe Him Money... I Owe Him The Truth | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 51)

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