Everybody Thinks I'm Winning But My Credit Report Says Otherwise | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 63) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

Everybody Thinks I'm Winning But My Credit Report Says Otherwise | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 63)   "Where Everyday Conversations Lead to Financial Awareness"   Featuring: Wisdom Wednesday, Mentorship Series   Wednesday | October 14th, 2026   Broadcasting on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES   https://leringaines.com  https://linktr.ee/leringaines  https://www.facebook.com/leringaines  http://instagram.com/leringaines  https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines  http://twitter.com/leringaines  https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines  https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines  https://kick.com/leringaines  https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines   Song of The Day: "Too Hot" by Kool & The Gang  Released 1979 | Ladies' Night   Burning Questions for Reflections!  If nobody could see your car, your clothes, your vacations, or your purchases, would your financial decisions still reflect the life you truly want?   Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions...  Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com   DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, KICK, Twitch, DailyMotion)   Check out my FREE Monthly digital Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!   #LerinGaines #FinancialCoach #BlackDiamondConsultations #DebtFreeLiving #WhispersofWisdom #VacationWithMe #BurningQuestions #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #KICK #Twitch #DailyMotion #BlackDiamondConsultationsNetwork #411PODCAST #DISC6 #Vitality   DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.   411 PODCAST  DISC 6: Vitality  Track 63: Everybody Thinks I'm Winning But My Credit Report Says Otherwise  ©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network  LerinGaines.com

Transcript

03:29This is your sanctuary for self-discovery, healing, and personal growth.

03:34Here, we explore what it means to live debt-free, not just financially, but spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

03:43Every episode is part of a journey across our weekly mentorship series, Spiritual Sundays, Mental Mondays, Transformational Tuesdays, Wisdom Wednesdays,

03:53Coaching Sessions Thursdays, and Financial Fridays.

03:57Each day holds space for wisdom, clarity, and real conversations.

04:02We want you to join in on the conversations with us.

04:05Connect across all social media platforms at Laryngaines.

04:09We are broadcasting live on Facebook, YouTube, Kick, Twitch, X, and Dailymotion.

04:18Text your thoughts anytime to our official hotline at 609-200-1098.

04:25So, grab your journal, open your mind, and prepare to go beyond the surface.

04:31Here, we don't just talk, we transform lives.

04:33And now, here's your guide through it all, entrepreneur, mentor, and financial coach, Laren Gaines.

04:52Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome in, everybody, to the 411 Podcast, where everyday conversations lead to financial awareness.

05:03We are here, episode 63, where everybody thinks I'm winning, but my credit report says otherwise.

05:14Ladies and gentlemen, if I'm speaking to you, I want you to pay attention tonight, because this has a lot

05:21to do with forgetting and abandoning yourself and worrying about what everybody else thinks of you.

05:30So, episode 63, everybody thinks I'm winning, but my credit report says otherwise.

05:38Good episode tonight.

05:40Thank you so much for joining in.

05:42I want to say good morning to everybody out there listening, wherever you're listening at.

05:48I appreciate all of the love and support.

05:51I want to say what's up to the Facebook family.

05:54Very special good morning to the YouTube family.

05:58Y'all have definitely been doing your thing out there.

05:59I truly do appreciate it.

06:01If you want to listen to the episodes, if you want to watch the episodes, you can get both experiences

06:07on YouTube and YouTube music as well.

06:12Very special thank you to the new Spotify guests as well.

06:16Thank you all so much for joining.

06:17We stream live on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Pandora, SiriusXM, Deezer, just to name a few.

06:26Wherever you listen to your podcast, your favorite podcast, type in 4-in-1 Podcasts and we should pop right

06:33up.

06:33And for any reason that you do not find a 4-in-1 Podcasts, just drop me a note.

06:39You can DM me.

06:40You can text me.

06:41Send me a message.

06:42And we will try to get the podcast uploaded to that.

06:49I want a very special thank you to my guests.

06:52We're in Q4 right now.

06:54So we only have a couple more weeks and, you know, bells will start to ring.

06:59Looking at 2026, I most certainly cannot do any of this without my special guests who join me.

07:06Birdman313, thank you so much for coming through every week.

07:09Thank you so much to the special guests who have joined us as well on a live series.

07:14Very special thank you to Ms. Lisa Clements.

07:17Please go ahead and watch that replay.

07:20Lisa helps young women plan financially.

07:23So if you are a young lady out there and you need some help with planning or some financial advising,

07:29please reach out to my friend, Lisa Clements.

07:32She has Clear Wealth Financial.

07:35Go ahead and watch that replay.

07:38Follow the links.

07:39Excuse me.

07:40Follow the links and check out Ms. Lisa.

07:43Very special thank you to Ms. Queen Dawn Spirit.

07:45I have been working with Queen Dawn behind the scenes and we've been doing these financial freedom, you know, shorts.

07:54So they are all over Ms. Queen Dawn Spirit's page and she has a business called Ascender.

08:00You get to see your boy be interviewed.

08:03So check out Ms. Queen Dawn Spirit.

08:05I usually post them in the stories and stuff like that and I repost them as well.

08:09So you can find all of that stuff by checking out Instagram.

08:14This is the months.

08:16This is the Q4 I usually go in when it comes to the financial aspect.

08:20As far as Black Diamond consultations, we focus on debt-free living from the spiritual to mental, the physical and

08:26financial wellness.

08:29And Q4 is it for us.

08:30So I'm going to go in and be speaking a heck of a lot more about financial wellness, getting out

08:36of debt.

08:36Because you know how passionate I am this time of year when it comes to the tricks and the trades

08:42that happen when it comes to, you know, the money flow.

08:49Q4 money flows fast.

08:53The currency flows very quickly this time of year.

08:56And it can either be flowing in.

08:58Actually, a lot of people, you get a lot of money flowing in.

09:04But right things with it.

09:05And we get call up in the holiday season and no proper planning.

09:10And just as quick as that money flows in, it flows out.

09:13So pay attention, ladies and gentlemen.

09:15For a lot of people who say, I don't have this.

09:16I can't have this.

09:17I don't know why.

09:18And I never have enough.

09:19You end up making it work during the holidays because there is a lot of money flow that goes through

09:24the holidays.

09:25You just have to pay attention.

09:27So I'm going to get off of that.

09:29And again, thank you all so much.

09:32Please hit that like button.

09:34Subscribe.

09:35Tag a friend.

09:35Text a friend.

09:36Invite a friend in.

09:37Do whatever you need to do to support the 411 Podcast.

09:40Thank you all so much.

09:41I appreciate you.

09:42We have climbed so much this year.

09:45And we have so much more to do for next year.

09:48Dis 7 is coming up soon.

09:51ASAP.

09:52So stay tuned for that as well.

09:53And of course, I most certainly cannot do this without my executive producer.

09:58I want to thank God.

09:59Thank you so much for giving me the strength, the courage, the wisdom, the understanding, and just everything that I

10:05have here.

10:06Because without you, none of this would be possible.

10:12Well, here's the time.

10:15You know what it is.

10:28I love this group.

10:30This is actually my favorite song.

10:32Cool and the Gang.

10:34Off of their album, Ladies Night.

10:38One of my favorite, favorite songs from them, Too Hot, released in 1979.

10:46I don't know what it is about this song.

10:49But as soon as it comes on, it just takes me somewhere.

10:54It takes me somewhere.

10:56And it's the instruments before they even start singing.

10:59It's just the way it sounds just right off the rip.

11:03Too Hot by Cool and the Gang off of their album, Ladies Night, which y'all know the famous song,

11:10Ladies Night by them.

11:12So many people have remade their songs.

11:15This song, Too Hot, Coolio, rest in peace, Coolio, he remade a version.

11:20And speaking of the Ladies Night, you have Lil' Kim who did the remix, the Ladies Night remix.

11:28And that blew up in the 2000s, the early 2000s.

11:32So Cool and the Gang, they were conducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as well.

11:36But also, who doesn't know Cool and the Gang, Too Hot.

11:42Your environment can sometimes become too hot.

11:47And with that, when it starts to get hot, you know, they say when you can't stay in the heat,

11:52get out of the kitchen.

11:55But the kitchen was ours to begin with.

11:58I don't know who I'm speaking to.

12:00I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

12:02But you blew up your own kitchen.

12:04You turned up the heat in your own kitchen.

12:06And now it's too hot.

12:07And you don't know what to do.

12:09Because this is your environment.

12:11You love this environment.

12:13You created this environment.

12:15But you didn't want all of the extra stuff.

12:18Maybe you did want the extra stuff.

12:20But you didn't know what the repercussions were from wanting all of the extra stuff.

12:26Picture yourself having a nice, beautiful house.

12:28A nice, beautiful apartment.

12:29A nice, beautiful condo.

12:31And your kitchen is just amazing.

12:34But you decided to turn up the heat in the kitchen.

12:37And things just start to catch on fire.

12:39And now it's too hot.

12:40And you don't even know what to do.

12:42And a lot of times that comes from us with this spirit.

12:49And I want to get this word right.

12:52Covetousness.

12:53I said it very quickly.

12:56The spirit of covetousness.

13:00Y'all know where I'm coming from.

13:01Just bear with me.

13:03Sometimes it rolls off the tongue.

13:05Sometimes it doesn't.

13:06But it's the excessive or the unlawful desire for material wealth, possessions, or things that don't belong to you.

13:13They belong to somebody else.

13:15And we spoke about this several times before.

13:18And I don't want to be lengthy with this.

13:20But bear with me.

13:21I might just go in.

13:23That car that your neighbor has.

13:27You want it.

13:29You're not happy with yours.

13:31Because your car doesn't look as flashy and as classy as the next one.

13:34So you do whatever you need to do.

13:37You hustle.

13:38You grind.

13:39You go and you take out a loan that you probably shouldn't have taken out.

13:44You go and get an extra job.

13:46You do whatever you need to do so that you can get what you saw somebody else have.

13:51But see, you were only looking on the outer.

13:53You didn't look on the inner.

13:55You don't know what their bills look like.

13:57You don't see them pacing back and forth the middle of the night.

14:00You don't see the arguments that the married couples have back and forth because this one did something that they

14:05weren't supposed to and spent a little bit more over here and didn't go over there and didn't deposit this

14:10here and didn't pay this bill.

14:11And now this is in jeopardy of being turned off.

14:14You did not see all of those things.

14:17All you saw was the outer appearance.

14:19What man does.

14:20Man judges the outer appearance.

14:23God focuses on the inner.

14:25So because of that, the spirit that you had of covetousness got a hold of you.

14:33Now you got yourself wrapped up and trapped up into something that you can't handle and it's too hot.

14:40And what do they say in that record?

14:43Got to run for shelter.

14:45Got to run for shade because it's too hot.

14:48You did that to yourself.

14:51And yeah, you were in a relationship and you both split the bills 50-50 and now you're pointing a

14:56finger at this one and you're pointing a finger at that one.

14:59But in reality, you did this.

15:00You created this.

15:01You blew up your own kitchen.

15:02You made it too hot in your own environment.

15:07Going places.

15:09We want these vacation people have on a gram.

15:12We want to be flexing just like the next person.

15:15So we go ahead and we do this.

15:16What I was speaking about with Queen Dawn.

15:19Buy now, pay later.

15:20You can go on vacation.

15:21You can buy it now.

15:22Oh, but trust and believe you're going to pay later.

15:25One way or the other, you're going to pay later or you pay a credit card and oh, that's going

15:30to make the minimum payment.

15:32Oh, but you're going to pay later.

15:34Trust and believe.

15:35Robbing Peter to pay Paul and you blew up your own environment.

15:38You heated up your own environment.

15:41And it's too hot.

15:43And let's not even discuss about the materialistic things.

15:48That's a whole other thing.

15:49Cars, clothes, jewelry.

15:53Let's not even talk about, I'm going to take it deep here, this relationship aspect.

15:59Because we are people pleasing and we want and we seek the validation from outside of us in another human

16:05being.

16:06And you want to be in relationships that you shouldn't be in.

16:09You want to be in friendships that you shouldn't be in.

16:13See, when God or when a universe says that this person is not the person who you should be aligned

16:19with.

16:19I don't know who I'm speaking to.

16:20I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

16:22When God or universe says, absolutely not.

16:25This friend is not a so-called friend.

16:28I'm going to show you.

16:29I'm going to show and prove every single time that this person does certain things that this is not.

16:34But yet you still sit in the same environment and you blew up your own kitchen, your own environment.

16:41And it is too hot.

16:46Wanting.

16:47Validation from people.

16:49Wanting.

16:51Something that somebody else has.

16:52When you know full well that you should just pump your brakes a little bit.

16:57Stay in your lane.

16:59Vibrate on the right frequency.

17:01Don't lower yourself to somebody else's standards.

17:05This is what happens.

17:06And it becomes too hot.

17:08And then once we have everything all blown up.

17:10All.

17:11All.

17:12Wrapped up and trapped up.

17:14And.

17:16Signed in agreement.

17:17And had to sign for us.

17:19And move in.

17:20And.

17:20But you need to leave after this time frame.

17:23But then that time frame comes.

17:24And this person is still here.

17:26Draining your energy.

17:28Draining your resources.

17:29And now you want to look a certain way because it's something that you created.

17:35You blew up your environment.

17:36It's too hot.

17:38Now.

17:38You have to run for shelter.

17:40You got to run for shade.

17:41And.

17:42And in this record he says.

17:43Look at the mess that we made.

17:46Absolutely.

17:47When you decide that you want to do something different.

17:50When you are tired of getting the same thing.

17:53Over and over and over again.

17:55You are tired of being insane.

17:57You have to sit back and look.

18:00Unplugged from the matrix.

18:02Turn your phone off.

18:04Say that I'm going to head and take a break.

18:06I can't hang out with y'all tonight.

18:07I can't go there.

18:08I can't do this.

18:10And sit down.

18:11Get with yourself.

18:12And take a look at the mess that you made.

18:14And when you say enough is enough.

18:16And you decide to get up and take responsibility for your life.

18:19That's when things will start to cool down.

18:21But sometimes God will allow things to heat up.

18:26Heat up.

18:26And when I say get hot.

18:29He will allow it to get hot.

18:31So that it can burn.

18:33It can burn a little bit.

18:35And you can get that flame.

18:37You can get that fire.

18:38And you know that heat.

18:40It don't always feel good when it's hot.

18:42So you need to feel a little bit uncomfortable.

18:45So that you can remember who you are.

18:47And never disrespect yourself.

18:49And abandon yourself again.

18:51In the name of wanting people to validate you.

18:56Wanting something that somebody else has.

18:59It's song of the day.

19:01Too hot.

19:03Cool and the gang.

19:051979.

19:06Off of their album.

19:07Ladies Night.

19:16I tried not to go in.

19:19I tried not to.

19:19And I went in so much that I didn't even get into some of the scriptures that I had written

19:26down.

19:26Such as Galatians.

19:28Chapter 1 verse 10.

19:31That's so powerful.

19:32Look that up.

19:34I didn't even get into 1 Timothy.

19:37Chapter 6 verse 10.

19:40We love money so much.

19:44And we get it twisted up.

19:46And they have that old saying.

19:48Money is the root of all evil.

19:49No.

19:49Money is not the root of all evil.

19:51Money is actually good.

19:53But when you start to love money.

19:55More than you love people.

19:57And you start to lower yourself to do different things that are not of faith.

20:01And not of God.

20:04Just because you love money so much.

20:07That's the situation.

20:09But I didn't even get into that.

20:10We'll save that for another time.

20:12But on that note.

20:15Let's go ahead and reach out to Mr. Birdman313.

20:35What's going on?

20:37Hey.

20:38How's it going, man?

20:40I'm going good.

20:42What's going on?

20:43It ain't too hot over there, is it?

20:46Oh, no, man.

20:46I went to the beach today.

20:49Hung out.

20:49Took a lot.

20:50Took some videos.

20:52Some pictures.

20:52You know.

20:53The birds was out.

20:54Like they always are down there.

20:56Don't have much of a beach anymore.

20:57But, hey.

20:58The birds is out.

20:59Got a chance to write while I was sitting down there.

21:02And it felt good.

21:04That's what's up.

21:05That's what's up.

21:06It has been in the 80s for the past two days here in Jersey.

21:11I can't complain.

21:13Yeah.

21:14Hey, man.

21:14You did my song.

21:16You didn't do no justice to my song, Too Hot, Dad.

21:19Oh, it did get too hot.

21:22Shoot.

21:23You got to run for shelter.

21:25You got to run for shame.

21:27See, the song that everybody that, you know, that I know listen to is Summer Madness.

21:35Oh, wait a minute.

21:37Hold up.

21:38Hold up.

21:39Hold up.

21:40Hold up.

21:42You are absolutely right.

21:44Let me tell you one thing.

21:48That is one of my favorite ones.

21:50And also the live version.

21:52Not the one that they play on the radio that everybody get.

21:54But if you go and look up the live version, I think it's 19 such and such where they were

21:59live at wherever.

22:00Oh, man.

22:02Oh, man.

22:02I'm telling you, boy.

22:04That just ain't.

22:05When I was DJ, I had people say, oh, man.

22:09Don't let Summer Madness.

22:11You can skip that.

22:13Is that on the same album?

22:16Oh, you know what?

22:20It may not be.

22:21I don't remember.

22:22But, you know, they're from Houston.

22:24Okay.

22:25Okay.

22:25Now, yeah.

22:27Yeah.

22:27They're from here.

22:29They're right here from Houston, you know.

22:31So, hey, man.

22:32And I had to say, there's times when I had to listen to Summer Madness to pull myself back in,

22:36you know.

22:38Yeah, that song put you in a trance.

22:40And now I'm actually making me want to look it up.

22:42That song, The Horns, puts you in a trance.

22:46And for me, anyway, it puts me in a trance.

22:50And okay.

22:50Okay.

22:51So, here we go.

22:52So, Summer Madness.

22:54Oh, okay.

22:54So, only one that I know.

22:56Oh, so, Summer Madness is off of the Love and Understanding album.

22:59I don't know when that came out.

23:01But look.

23:02I'm telling you.

23:03There's Summer Madness and then there's Summer Madness Live.

23:06You got to look it up.

23:07Yeah.

23:08Got to look it up.

23:09Yeah.

23:11And you know what?

23:12They, you know, out of all the years I was here,

23:16I don't even remember them performing here in Houston, not one time.

23:22Maybe, maybe they had to come from up, you know,

23:27about when you got to come from up out of your hometown.

23:32It was, it was always, you know, other places.

23:35But Houston, they, you know, they, they didn't come here.

23:39Maybe they didn't get the love from their hometown.

23:41A lot of times that happens where artists just.

23:44Well, you know.

23:44There, there's several people, you know, like Hubert Laws, Ronnie Laws,

23:50and Deborah Laws.

23:50They're all from here.

23:52And I think they only played here a couple of times themselves.

23:56It was always like Chicago, Philly, Detroit, you know, places like that.

24:02Ronnie Laws.

24:04Now, I don't know much about Ronnie Laws besides reading the name several,

24:09several times on several of, I believe it's a lot of R&B, modern R&B that they sampled from

24:18him.

24:20Yeah.

24:21Hear me, his sister and brother.

24:23Oh, yeah, man.

24:24They, they jam.

24:27Hmm.

24:27Interesting.

24:29Learned something new.

24:31Well, we going to Ohio.

24:36You, uh, been to Columbus, Ohio?

24:39Yeah, I've been through it.

24:41Well, my son, I have a son that lives in Cincinnati.

24:44And I, you know, I've been, I've been through Columbus.

24:48I, that's interesting because I was speaking about Kool and the Gang being in the Rock and Roll Hall of

24:52Fame.

24:53I believe that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum is in Columbus, Ohio.

24:59Oh, man.

25:00You know what?

25:01I forgot where it's at.

25:02No, it's not in Columbus.

25:03No?

25:04No, no, no.

25:05No.

25:06It's in Ohio now.

25:08I just don't know what.

25:09Yeah, yeah, it's in Ohio.

25:11Have you ever been there?

25:14No, I haven't.

25:16That's like a trip that I think I'm going to take one day.

25:20Yeah.

25:21Yeah, I would like to also.

25:24Because I know there's a lot of different, I wonder how big it is.

25:28So many different artists and they keep inducting them in every year.

25:32So.

25:35It's in Cleveland, Ohio.

25:38Ah.

25:39And I've been to, like I said, you know, I used to, I used to play semi-pro ball up

25:44in

25:44Allentown.

25:46And sometimes, man, you know, I, you know, didn't want to fly all the way.

25:51I would catch a bus and it would go through Cleveland.

25:55But I never did, you know, even stop and go there or anything like that.

26:02But because I was, I was, I was focused on, I was having a lot of, I got hurt and

26:08I was

26:08focusing on trying to get my, get health back so I could play.

26:14Hmm.

26:14So.

26:16And another museum.

26:20The family home.

26:21You ever been to that one?

26:23Gary, Indiana.

26:24I haven't been, I mean, I haven't been to their home, but Gary, Gary is like 45 miles from

26:31where I grew up at.

26:33Yeah.

26:33That's something that I definitely would want to go ahead and check out.

26:39That's all right, man.

26:40I've heard people talk about it.

26:42You know, I've never been there.

26:45I know they had, they had a bad power outage not too long ago.

26:49Let's not even go there.

26:52Yeah.

26:52People was complaining about the Jacksons not helping.

26:55But from what I've heard and read that they did help out, but they just wasn't blasting

27:01it.

27:02You know how a lot of people be blasting it out.

27:05They wasn't, they weren't blasting it out.

27:07They was, you know, just people like they are.

27:10They live a low key life now.

27:11They don't live that fast lane.

27:13Okay.

27:13So it's kind of like, um, you know, kept it low key.

27:18Okay.

27:19So you opened up here in their doors box and you probably didn't mean to do it, but for

27:24people out there, anybody listening, this whole Gary, Indiana thing, I don't, I'm, I'm guessing

27:31that it's over.

27:31I know it went on for a very long time.

27:34And when I say for almost like about a month, that is so huge of a big problem that even

27:43if

27:43the Jacksons did help, I don't think that they'd be able to fix that.

27:46This is more of a, the powers be, this is more of a powers that be problem.

27:53And when they want certain things to shut down and things to not work right, trust and believe

27:58that that's exactly what's going to happen.

27:59And I want people to listen, the same situation that happened in Gary, Indiana, please be very

28:07cautious because that could be coming to an area near you very soon, especially as the

28:13weather starts to get bad in the winter time.

28:16So pay attention.

28:18But Gary though, man, Ooh, that's, that's a place I never liked going there.

28:24Never.

28:24I mean, when I was growing up, I never liked going there.

28:29I can't imagine.

28:30You know what?

28:31It's like a, it's like a, it's like an hour drive from my hometown hour.

28:36I've heard stories.

28:37It's outside of Chicago.

28:40Yeah, I've heard stories.

28:42Yeah.

28:43And when we, when we used to go from, you know, from my hometown to Chicago, are you new when

28:48you got to Gary?

28:49Exactly.

28:50I've heard stories.

28:53Oh, you knew it.

28:54You knew it.

28:55You knew it, man.

28:56So are you, are you telling me that it's like, okay, so we know when we get to places like,

29:01all right, so I'm in Jersey and I know you familiar with the area, you know, when you get to

29:06Newark, you know what it's like when you get to Kansas.

29:09Camden, you know what it's like when you're in Trenton, certain parts of Trenton, but some

29:15Camden and Newark, I personally believe don't have nothing.

29:19I mean, Trenton doesn't have anything on places like Camden and Newark, but you know, when you're

29:25in these areas, is that what it is?

29:28Yeah.

29:28Well, Gary had a pollution problem that, that the smell came off.

29:34You knew it.

29:35You, you could be in the, uh, just entering Chicago.

29:39And sometimes you could smell the smell coming from the pollution coming from Gary, Indiana.

29:45That's how bad it was.

29:47And the last time I rode through there, um, I rode through there on the bus.

29:54Woo, man.

29:55I mean, it was so many abandoned buildings.

29:58They pulled up at the bus station and in the bus driver say, uh, yeah.

30:03Okay.

30:03Yeah.

30:04This is the bus station right here, man.

30:07And people out look, I like, wow, man.

30:10I said, this is really, really getting, this is bad.

30:14It's bad there, man.

30:16Wow.

30:17But people got to live somewhere.

30:19People got to live somewhere.

30:20First stories.

30:21There's 90%, I believe, of the population in Gary, Indiana is black people.

30:27Yeah.

30:28And, um, you know, you could, you know what, even, even when I was growing up, you couldn't

30:32get me to go to Gary, Indiana.

30:34Nah, nope, nope.

30:37I wonder if the smell is anything like when we're, I do as a kid, I used to, oh, I

30:41couldn't

30:42stand it when I was in the car.

30:43I knew when we hit Newark because when you go past the old Anheuser-Busch factory, the

30:52smell is just, yeah, that's how, that's how I get, that's how it used to be.

30:59It's not like that no more.

31:00They did, they did, you know, change a lot because like when I fly into Chicago, I always

31:06get a rental car to go to my hometown and man, I'd be, I'm passed through and I'm like,

31:12wow, man, the smell ain't there.

31:14Cause I remember, I remember one time my dad said, okay, he said, roll up the windows.

31:18He said, for a few, no window, no air conditioning.

31:23That's how bad it was, man.

31:25Then we, when we get on down the road, man, we sweating like pigs up in there.

31:30He said, okay, you can roll the window down over here.

31:33He said, okay, I'm going to turn the air conditioning off.

31:38Oh, man.

31:42The old Anheuser-Busch, you know, when you get to the exit for Staten Island, New York.

31:48Yeah.

31:48The turnpike, cause these certain smells.

31:51Yeah.

31:51I get you.

31:52I get it.

31:53Yeah.

31:55All right.

31:55So we go on to Columbus, Ohio.

31:57We have Mr.

31:58Sean that we going to be helping out says I'm 35 years old.

32:05If you look at my social media, you probably think I had everything figured out.

32:09I have a nice car.

32:10I dress well.

32:11I take trips when my friends plan them and I never seem to miss a birthday dinner or celebration.

32:16I'm the person people call when they want to go somewhere nice because they know I'll show up looking the

32:22part.

32:23What most people don't know is I'm finding.

32:26What most people don't know is that I'm financing a lifestyle I can no longer comfortably afford.

32:33It started innocently enough.

32:34I wanted to improve my credit score.

32:36So I opened a few credit cards.

32:38I paid attention to my limits and tried to make the payments on time.

32:42When I qualified for a better car, I took it as a sign that I was moving forward.

32:47Then came the furniture financing, the store cards, and the trips I told myself I'd pay off later.

32:53I wasn't trying to impress strangers.

32:56I was successful.

32:58I watched my mother work hard but still struggle to afford the things other family members seemed to enjoy.

33:04I promised myself that when I became an adult, I wouldn't have to keep telling myself no.

33:10Now at 35, I'm realizing I've created a different kind of financial struggle.

33:15I make decent money, but my paycheck is already committed before it reaches my account.

33:19Between my car payment, my insurance, credit cards, rent, and other monthly obligations, there isn't much left.

33:26Last month, my credit card was declined at dinner.

33:29I laughed and blamed a card reader.

33:31Then I used another.

33:32Nobody questioned me, but I knew the truth.

33:35A few days later, I checked my balances and realized I was carrying more debt than I had admitted to

33:40myself.

33:40I had been making minimum payments and treating available credit like extra income.

33:45The worst part is that I don't know how to slow down without feeling like I'm losing a version of

33:49myself I worked so hard to present.

33:51My friends are planning another trip.

33:53My cousin just bought a house.

33:56Someone at work keeps talking about upgrading their vehicle.

33:59And here I am, trying to figure out how to pay down debt without feeling left behind.

34:04I know I need to budget.

34:05I know I need to stop using credit to cover things I can't afford with cash.

34:10But I also know this isn't just about numbers.

34:13I need to understand why I feel the need to prove that I'm doing well, even when my finances are

34:18telling me something different.

34:19So, my question is, how do you stop financing an image of success and start building a life that is

34:26financially stable?

34:28Birdman, what do you have for Mr. Sean?

34:31First of all, stay off of social media.

34:33You know, he's talking about, if you look at my social media, that is what's destroying so many people, is

34:43people get on social media and they always want to say that they're doing great when they're really not.

34:53Just impress people, just to have likes.

34:59I think that's one of the, that's, especially with the young people.

35:04And, you know, I'm talking about the ones 40 and under.

35:07They get on there and talk about, oh, they have this job, they have that job.

35:12They go here, they go there.

35:17And it's ruining them.

35:20And he said, you know, like, you know, saying how his friends invited him because he always looked the part.

35:31They don't put him up like he's king.

35:35And he can't, he can't, he don't know how to deal with it.

35:40And I would just tell him, first of all, get off of social media.

35:46Once you get off of social media, then start working on yourself.

35:50He needs to talk to somebody.

35:54And trying to prove that you have this, you have that, all it's going to do is ruin your credit.

36:03And that's the road that I see him.

36:06Don't get me wrong, man.

36:07I know, just like, and I think a lot of young people, including myself, when I was growing up, I

36:14always wanted to look good.

36:17I always wanted to have a nice vehicle.

36:20But I couldn't afford it.

36:23So I got what I could get.

36:28And I made the best of it.

36:30I know that's right.

36:31You know, and if a person didn't like it, hey, that's fine, man.

36:37You know, you don't have to ride in it.

36:40You don't have to like me for it.

36:41Because I know I used to go to the club and, you know, I would park far out and walk

36:48up to the club.

36:49Not because I was embarrassed or anything.

36:54That's just the way it was.

36:56You know, I just didn't like parking around people for whatever reason.

37:01And, you know, that's been a lot of people problem pulling up in their vehicles, as they call dressed out

37:13or pimped out so they can impress people.

37:19And, you know, they're hurting financially.

37:22They're hurting bad.

37:23But they don't want their friends to know.

37:27And like I said, when you have to impress people like that, they're not really your friends.

37:36And I had to learn the hard way.

37:39I mean, which I've always, like I said, I had older vehicles.

37:43I kept them clean, kept them running.

37:46And then my mom would always say, it gets you where you want to go, don't it?

37:52Like, yeah.

37:54I didn't always, just because my friends got new cars, I didn't always want a new car.

38:00Because I always sit back and say, okay.

38:04Because my dad would say, you know, he had to pay for that.

38:07Because I had a friend similar to that.

38:09He went out and he would get all these new cars.

38:12And my dad said, now you see, I'm going to tell you what's going to happen to him.

38:17He said, you and him the same age.

38:20By the time he get to this age, he said, he ain't going to be able to get another car

38:25from nowhere.

38:26Because he done went through so many cars.

38:29He went and got a Porsche trying to impress everybody.

38:33The Porsche needed an oil chain.

38:36When he found out how much it cost to get the oil chain, he parked the car at his sister

38:41house.

38:42And left it.

38:44And they had to come and pick it up.

38:52Because he couldn't afford.

38:54He said, man, that's too much to get the oil chain.

38:56And he said, I wanted to do it myself.

38:58I said, no, no, no, no, no.

38:59That's a foreign car, man.

39:00You got to have specific tools to do that with.

39:07He got to repossess.

39:09The next thing I know, I seen him in a little bitty car.

39:11I'm like, hey, man, you almost look like Fred Flintstone.

39:15Going to have to push the car with your feet, man.

39:17And he, oh, man, that ain't right, dude.

39:21You know, but hey, that's what it was.

39:24He done ran out of buying, because he was always buying foreign vehicles, so he couldn't afford or buy another

39:32foreign vehicle.

39:35And that's what's wrong with a lot of, like I said, young people.

39:39I mean, I went through the stages, but I was always a cutlass person.

39:45I didn't want, you know, the fancy foreign sports vehicle.

39:51I always loved the cutlass.

39:56And then you let your buddies talk a hole in your head about, you know, how, you know, you may

40:05see him driving something real fancy and new, but you don't know how he got it.

40:10You don't know if he's going through issues paying it.

40:16And then next thing you know, you see him, and he going to give you this.

40:20He said, oh, man, I got tired of paying that high car.

40:24No, you didn't get tired.

40:25He got repossessed.

40:30Yeah, this is interesting.

40:33This is a lot going on here.

40:35There's people pleasing.

40:36You're worried about what somebody else thinks.

40:38They know you're going to be the part.

40:40You're posting on social media.

40:44Please, and seeking value.

40:47You need to know who you are.

40:50Because you don't know who you are.

40:52You won't know who you are.

40:53You won't know what somebody else thinks.

40:57They think about those and anything else.

41:01But if you are that individual, at that point, you're concerned about what somebody else thinks.

41:08In my opinion, again, this is just my opinion.

41:11You don't understand.

41:13Right.

41:14Taking the money, going on trips, and this and that, and all these experiences.

41:21So, you know you can't afford financials.

41:26You're on your financials.

41:31But now, everything's fine.

41:34It's all fun and games now.

41:37So, box yourself in a corner financially, and you will be forced to make these expensive grades.

41:46So, it's best that you walk away from saying you.

41:55That's, that's key there.

41:57You make this decision, just like in 2020, my situation looking a certain way.

42:03I said, oh, I think I need to start to shut some windows and things start to interesting.

42:12And I don't, I don't want to be expectable here.

42:16So, let's do this the right way.

42:22And I started to clean things up financially.

42:24A heck of a lot going in versus.

42:28It was a heck of a lot going in versus.

42:30Then it was to have more coming in than going out on a monthly basis.

42:34And it sounds like you got a heck of a lot going out versus coming in.

42:38And you're relying.

42:40And Tris is going to creep up and cause you to make some hard decisions.

42:45And if you're so worried about what somebody else thinks now, you probably won't be able to handle what's going

42:51to happen when you get to this point.

42:55And really see the true story.

42:58That's true.

42:59That's true.

43:00I mean, like I said, I've seen, I've seen a lot of people that I hung out with, you know,

43:06they are having, you know,

43:09new vehicles or whatever, you know.

43:12And that never impressed me because I always, you know, I always think about, you know, what my dad said.

43:20You got to realize, he said, yeah, he got, but he got to pay for that.

43:24That ain't free.

43:26Yeah.

43:27Right.

43:27When I see people with these cars, this is so mystical because I was just thinking about it.

43:32I used to be caught up on what I was driving.

43:37And I used to care what somebody else think.

43:39And just like in this letter here, I did get caught up.

43:41I had a coworker that said, oh, I'm getting a new car.

43:44I can't believe that you're driving this.

43:46And I let this fool, like, trick me into thinking that I needed to get a car.

43:51And I did.

43:51I did.

43:52I did just like everybody else.

43:53And I felt the same pain.

43:55But now that I understand and know who I am, because I didn't know who I was before.

43:59But now that I know who I am, when I look at people and I see the cars, the first

44:04thing that come in my mind is,

44:05and this is the first thing that I see when I see somebody with a brand new car,

44:09I look at them and I'm like, yeah, they're probably broke.

44:12And I know I shouldn't think like that, but most people, they are not doing it the right way.

44:20And when I say broke, I mean that you're making a monthly car payment.

44:24If you outright buy it in cash, cool, you know, whatever.

44:27But when you're sitting there making monthly payments over five years,

44:35that could be a clear indication that you probably have something else that you're making payments

44:39and something else that you're making payments.

44:41And if everybody knocked on the door at the same time, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

44:47I want all my money or I'm going to take these cars.

44:49I'm going to take these furs and these jewelry.

44:52And I'm going to take, in some cases, the house and all these other things.

44:56People wouldn't be able to stand on their own two feet.

44:58So until you can get to the point where someone comes knocking at the door and say,

45:02all right, it's time to pay up.

45:04If you can give them them cash, then you ain't broke.

45:07But if you can't and you know that it would be a whole big old disaster if everybody found out

45:12what was going on,

45:13then, yeah, you probably broke.

45:16Yeah.

45:17You know.

45:18That sounds crazy.

45:20It's crazy, but it sounds crazy, but it's true.

45:24And, you know, that's funny because I told you, yeah, I was a counselor at one time.

45:28And it took, you know, and I was counseling this lady.

45:34She was one of my clients.

45:37And she made a comment.

45:39And then she said, yeah, yeah.

45:42And she said that when she see a man with, you know, a fancy car, she know he ain't got

45:50no money.

45:52She see a man.

45:57What?

45:58She said, oh, he ain't got no money.

45:59He got to pay for that car.

46:00And then she said, but let me catch somebody in an old beat up car.

46:06She said, I'm jumping in there with him and I'm riding and I'm smiling and I'm happy.

46:10And she said, because he got money.

46:12I'm like, okay, that makes sense, you know.

46:15And I started thinking about that.

46:18And I'm like, you know what?

46:21That do kind of make a lot of sense because most people, like you said, they got Ben's, Lamborghinis, all

46:30of them.

46:30If they don't have what you call a high, high paying job, they struggling to make it.

46:37But then, and if they do have a high paying job, they got a house note.

46:41They got all.

46:43They got, you know, maintenance around the house.

46:46They probably got kids.

46:48They probably got child, back child support they have to pay.

46:52I mean, it's a lot of things you have to look at.

46:56And I always, always try to keep my bills at a minimum.

47:02I was, I'm like, you know what?

47:05Sometimes people will come to my apartment and they would stand there and knock on the door and they could

47:10hear the music playing.

47:11And I was sitting there, I'm like, okay, this is what I got to spend on my bills.

47:19I wouldn't even answer the door.

47:22I wouldn't even answer the door, man, because I ain't got time for you today, man.

47:26I got to figure out these bills and how I'm going to pay them.

47:33And I said to my sons, I said, man, I said, keep up with your bills.

47:40Keep up.

47:41I said, you know what?

47:42To keep from having that red dot behind your name.

47:48You know, I said, sometimes you can't do no help but make the minimum payment.

47:53I said, but always, if you can, put an extra few dollars to bring it down.

48:00I said, because I said, I had learned the hard way.

48:03You know, I'm paying the minimum, think I'm doing something, and then I go right out and use the card.

48:07You know, that doesn't work.

48:11I said, hey, man, if you got a card that has a, you know, high amount on it, man, put

48:18that, leave that card at the house or hide it somewhere.

48:21And don't use it.

48:22Pay it off if you can.

48:27Like the notorious B.I.G. say, more money, more problems.

48:30These people with these high-paying jobs and things like that, all they do is have more problems and they

48:35get themselves into more debt.

48:36That's why giving somebody a lump sum of money overnight, they think that that's going to cure their issue, but

48:43it's not.

48:44It's just going to expose and show you who you truly are.

48:49And it could be disastrous.

48:51It could be completely disastrous.

48:54Oh, man.

48:54Oh, you said that, baby.

48:56Yeah, man.

48:56Because I remember I was on the city bus and they had a wreck and they had, you know, people

49:03got paid on there.

49:05Man, I got, when I got the check and I don't forget, man, I went to the dealership and talked

49:14to the man.

49:15I said, hey, I want, I said, I want to pay cash for it.

49:18And my dad was like, what is you doing?

49:21I said, hey.

49:22I said, you know how I am.

49:24I said, when I get a car, I have a hard time paying it because I got to have insurance

49:29on it, got to have gasoline and got to have maintenance.

49:32I'm paying it off.

49:33So, hey, you know what?

49:35I don't have to worry about it.

49:37And my dad, well, if it was me, I said, but I'm not you, dad.

49:40I love you and all that, but I'm not you.

49:43I paid the car off.

49:45So, he went and he told my mom, boy, I thought I had taught that boy something.

49:52And my mom said, what you talking about?

49:53And he told her, my mom said, you did teach him something.

49:57You taught him he's doing the right thing by paying that vehicle off so that that car note money that

50:05he would have been having, he could have it for something else.

50:10A lot of my family thought that I was strange for the way that I used to get my cars.

50:17Yeah, I used to just outright, I don't want a car payment.

50:19Now, I'm good.

50:20You ain't getting no new car?

50:21Nah, I'm so good.

50:23I'm so good.

50:24And then I got tricked into doing, following behind that system.

50:28And, yeah, I was like, nah, once I get this paid up and get this, what I call a me

50:35possession, you can come and get it.

50:36Yeah, you can come pick this.

50:38You ain't got to worry about repossessing it.

50:40I'm going to give it to you.

50:41After I got done that phase, I was like, nah, I'm good, bro.

50:44I'm good.

50:44Yeah, I did that one time.

50:46I asked, hey, man, as a matter of fact, I said, we lied to each other.

50:51I said, you lied to me about your conviction.

50:54I lied to you that I was going to pay you off.

50:56I said, you come and get it.

50:58Come and get it.

50:59And they came and got it.

51:03They came and got it.

51:05I said, I'm not paying this out, man.

51:06Take it.

51:07I said, I don't need it, man.

51:08I said, you know what?

51:09I said, this is one less headache that I have.

51:13I said, the other headache, I said, I'm getting ready to get rid of that soon also.

51:18I'm not even going there.

51:19I'm not even going there because I know what you're going to say.

51:25All right.

51:28I said, hey, man, I'll be free of all my issues, all my problems.

51:36Just in a little bit.

51:38I just need a little bit more time.

51:42Oh, man, we got to get out of here.

51:44We're up against the clock.

51:45Go ahead and tell them what you got going on.

51:49The only thing I have going on is Saturday, they have, I guess what you call a Halloween reading.

52:00So, I found a couple of poems that I wrote several years ago.

52:05I tell people, man, I'm not good at writing love poems and I'm not good at writing spooky poems.

52:11So, whatever you get, that's the spookiest going to get.

52:14And, whatever you get, that's, you know, the most love you're going to ever see if I have to write

52:20it.

52:23And, but, yeah, let me get back on track.

52:26Anyway, you can go to Amazon.com slash author slash Birdman313.

52:33You can go to Goodreads slash Goodreads.

52:37I mean, Goodreads.com slash Birdman313.

52:41You can go to Instagram, Birdman31355.

52:47You can go to YouTube.com slash AuthorPoetBirdman31355.

52:55And, you can go on Spotify to see some videos at the Coffee, Wine, and Word podcast.

53:04And, that's it.

53:06Yeah.

53:07So, I got to chat, I got to appreciate, always love chopping it up with you.

53:13Great episode.

53:13Oh, yeah.

53:14And, I will see you when I see you.

53:17Yeah.

53:18Yeah.

53:18And, check out that Summer Madness.

53:21Oh, yeah.

53:21Absolutely.

53:22Yeah.

53:22I'm going to go listen to that live version again.

53:25Okay.

53:26Yeah.

53:27All right.

53:28I'll holler at you.

53:29Okay.

53:29Take care.

53:30All right.

53:30See ya.

53:31Yeah.

53:33Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.

53:35That was AuthorPoetBirdman313.

53:38You got to love it when he comes through.

53:41I definitely do appreciate him.

53:43And, I appreciate all of y'all for joining us tonight.

53:54If there is any information that you heard that sparks some sort of interest in you that

53:59makes you want to say, I want to learn a little bit more about that debt-free living, head on

54:03over to LarianGaines.com.

54:05Check my calendar link.

54:06Sign up for my 30-minute financial coaching consultation.

54:11See if you are a good fit for the coaching sessions where we do financial coaching.

54:16And, I hope you build a better relationship with your money.

54:20Again, head on over to LarianGaines.com.

54:22Thank you all so much.

54:24I appreciate you.

54:25I'll see you when I see you.

54:27Have a great day.

54:41Have a great day.

55:17Have a great day.

55:40Have a great day.

Everybody Thinks I'm Winning But My Credit Report Says Otherwise | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 63)

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