We Love Each Other But We Can't Agree On Money | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 66) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

We Love Each Other But We Can't Agree On Money | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 66)   "Where Everyday Conversations Lead to Financial Awareness"   Featuring: Wisdom Wednesday, Mentorship Series   Wednesday | October 28th, 2026   Broadcasting on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES   https://leringaines.com  https://linktr.ee/leringaines  https://www.facebook.com/leringaines  http://instagram.com/leringaines  https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines  http://twitter.com/leringaines  https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines  https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines  https://kick.com/leringaines  https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines   Song of The Day: "What's Love Got To Do With It" by Warren G Featuring Adina Howard  Released 1997 | Take A Look Over Your Shoulder   Burning Questions for Reflections!  Are you building a financial partnership with someone—or quietly accepting responsibility for a future that the two of you haven't agreed to build together?   Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions...  Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com   DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, KICK, Twitch, DailyMotion)   Check out my FREE Monthly digital Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!   #LerinGaines #FinancialCoach #BlackDiamondConsultations #DebtFreeLiving #WhispersofWisdom #VacationWithMe #BurningQuestions #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #KICK #Twitch #DailyMotion #BlackDiamondConsultationsNetwork #411PODCAST #DISC6 #Vitality   DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.   411 PODCAST  DISC 6: Vitality  Track 66: We Love Each Other But We Can't Agree On Money  ©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network  LerinGaines.com

Transcript

05:26And I'll let you know.

05:32I'll let you know.

07:26And most importantly,

07:56that's what's up.

08:26I had to back it up.

08:56We already know that there is no trying.

08:57featuring Adina Howard.

08:59in 1997,

09:28off of his album,

09:58what's love,

10:00and I want to say,

10:30take over and take over and take over and take control.

11:28But at the end of the day,

11:30they're just going to go ahead,

11:31and pop bottles, and they're just going to go ahead and do it,

11:33real big.

11:59What's love.

12:08What's love have to do with it?

12:09have a different relationship?

12:11with money.

12:40One values,

12:41consulting with you.

12:43Wow, and you know, wow.

13:12So what's love,

13:39and you're going to do with you,

14:22and you're almost there, and you're going to be there, and you're going to so that's going to, and you're

14:26going to be...

14:26I'm really very passionate about this talk that we have here.

14:32You've got to be financially compatible with the person.

14:35A lot of times we just focus on the physical aspect when we meet people.

14:40We go right in and we just get right into it.

14:45And you start to get wrapped up and trapped up with somebody.

14:48And then, again, I don't know who I'm speaking to.

14:50I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

14:51After you've got wrapped up and trapped up, you've test drove a little bit.

14:56You get the vibe.

14:58You're feeling it.

14:59And all of a sudden, you hit that brick wall and you realize, wow, this person is not good financially.

15:06This person has a bad credit history.

15:09This person can't keep a job.

15:11This person can't do this.

15:12This person can't do that.

15:14This person doesn't even want to stand on their own two feet.

15:17This is when you start to abandon yourself, when you continue to press forward and press go and accelerate.

15:24All right, you clearly know what the red flags are.

15:27You've seen them.

15:28They have been spelled out.

15:31They have been dealt out.

15:32But yet you still want to continue to persist and press on.

15:37And some of us have abandoned ourselves so that we can go ahead and try to fix up and teach

15:44and train and mold and shape somebody having the same type of mindset that we have.

15:53That is absolutely incorrect.

15:55And that is the wrong thing to do.

15:57Again, I don't know who I'm speaking to.

15:59I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

16:02Focus on that financial compatibility.

16:05Physical, of course.

16:07Okay, you don't want to be out there dating Shrek or something like that.

16:10I get that.

16:11You don't want to be out there dating Fiona.

16:12I get that.

16:14But after you get past that, which that's shallow, that shouldn't even be the first part.

16:21Let's talk about the spiritual compatibility.

16:23Let's talk about this financial compatibility.

16:29Wow.

16:30All right.

16:31Like I said, I can go in.

16:33But I'm going to pull back a little bit.

16:35Let's go ahead and get Mr. Author, Poet, Birdman, 313 in.

16:55Yo, yo, yo, what's going on?

16:58Hey, how's it going?

17:00It's going.

17:01It's going.

17:02I'm over here in Jersey, you know, about 30 to 40 degrees in the morning.

17:10Hey, man, better you than me.

17:17It was 84 here today.

17:21That's crazy.

17:22That's good, though.

17:23I was talking to somebody and I said, you sound a little different.

17:27I said, you sound different.

17:29Like you got something going on with your throat or you're a little congested or something like that.

17:36And then I said, yep, this is one of the reasons why, Laren, that you don't like this type of

17:41year.

17:42The cold is one part of it.

17:43That's one aspect of it.

17:45But the germs and stuff and not feeling well, nah, I'm good on that one.

17:51I'm good on that.

17:52I have a friend that's going through the same thing.

17:56I just told her, I said, get you some tea, get you some honey and get you some peppermint.

18:02And I said, hey, you be all right.

18:03Since she don't drink, I was going to say, toss your little liquor off in there, you know, but she

18:08don't drink.

18:11She don't drink, you know, like that.

18:13So I just told her, hey, get you some hot tea and pour a little honey in it with some

18:20peppermint.

18:21Yes, we're talking about that, getting that ginger brandy, too.

18:25Yeah, hey, man, this is a time of year I like, I don't really like to get sick, but I

18:31know her mama was going to fix that tea.

18:35Yeah, yeah.

18:37Wow.

18:39So what else is new?

18:40What's going on?

18:41Oh, nothing, you know, just same old, same old, just been going to the park and enjoying the park because,

18:49you know, like I said, the temperature has been in the low 80s.

18:52And, I mean, it's cool, you know, it's very comfortable.

18:56More birds are coming out, you know, different birds, more alligators coming out, more turtles.

19:03So, you know, that's the joyous part of going to the parks, you know, getting a chance to see all

19:11of that.

19:12And now you're starting to see the leaves and the grass when they start making that transformation and turning from

19:18green to gold, no, brown to gold.

19:25Well, some people get excited about that.

19:28And, again, I'm not knocking when people that, but then when folks, when they see the different changes in the

19:36colors, it brings on something.

19:38It brings on something different.

19:41So, I don't know.

19:42Oh, so you're trying to say I get excited for saying that, huh?

19:46Hey, listen, me, when I see that, I'm like, oh, here we go.

19:51Here we go.

19:52No, no, no, no, but I do, you know, because I can write, it gives me a chance to write

19:58about different things.

20:00And it gives me a chance, but when I go out there, I take and shoot different videos.

20:05And it gives me a chance to write, like I said, about different things and how life in general, you

20:14know, changes as well.

20:16Yeah, yeah.

20:17So, I feel you, I feel you.

20:21I guess I'm just one of my own creative mind type of guys.

20:26No, yeah, I get you, I get you on that.

20:29Hold on one second.

20:31I got to get some little housekeeping right here.

20:34Hang on a second.

20:35Yeah.

20:39Yeah, I don't need y'all hearing me burping and stuff in the microphone, so I had to pause that

20:45a little bit.

20:48I had this realization that if I just keep it real, because one of my coaches said, Laren, just keep

20:54it real.

20:55I get that you've been in, you know, leadership retail for over 20 some odd years, and that's in your

21:01DNA now.

21:02But just get out there and just do what you, just be you.

21:07So, I'm focusing on that work.

21:10Just, you know, it is what it is.

21:11The show going to be what it's going to be.

21:12I might stumble over this word.

21:15I might do this.

21:15I might do that.

21:17Yeah, it is what it is.

21:18I'm in a different space now with this podcast.

21:21Feels different.

21:22You know, life in general, we make, everybody makes their little mistakes.

21:27And, hey, that's just part of life, man.

21:30Like I tell people, when people say they did this, did that, I just say, hey, that's life.

21:36Live with it.

21:37You know, deal with it.

21:38Enjoy it.

21:39You know, that's all you can do.

21:41Yeah, yeah.

21:43All right.

21:44So, now we going to Pittsburgh.

21:45Have you ever been to Pittsburgh?

21:47Yes, I have.

21:49Yeah.

21:50You know, when I, like I said, I played, I played up in Allentown.

21:54Oh, yeah.

21:54And I didn't get chance to play long, you know, because of the injuries I had.

21:58So, you know, I couldn't.

21:59Back then, if you got hurt, you didn't travel with the team.

22:03You know, and then if it was home games, if you wanted to come to it, you could.

22:09But, you know, I did go to Pittsburgh a couple of times.

22:13And I just know they, you know, they call it the coal miners town.

22:19Oh, yeah.

22:19Thank you, Pittsburgh.

22:21So, yeah.

22:22Yeah.

22:23Now, have you ever driven through the whole entire state of Pennsylvania?

22:27No, I haven't.

22:29Well, let me see.

22:30I went from Allentown to, I think we went through, to New York.

22:39I think it was, because it was one of the players, he lived in, oh, man, I can't remember.

22:47So many years ago.

22:48But, yeah, we rode with him through, you know, seeing some of the different parts of Pennsylvania.

22:56And we went to, yeah, we did go.

22:59We went to New York.

23:00So, it stayed long, which I was glad of.

23:03I was glad of.

23:04So, you know, hey.

23:06I don't know how you do it, but you should Google how long to get from one end of Pennsylvania

23:13to the other.

23:14And the only thing that I have to say about that, ladies and gentlemen.

23:19Oh, wait, you know what?

23:20Pennsylvania don't have nothing on Texas.

23:23It's just not.

23:25It takes eight and a half hours to go from one end to the other.

23:33No, thank you.

23:35Wow.

23:36I mean, I don't even, I don't ever have to Google this afterwards to see how long does it take

23:40to get from one end of Pennsylvania to the other end.

23:43But it feels like it's never ending, and it's just a bunch of hills and up and down and up

23:51and down the mountains.

23:53And, yeah.

23:54Yeah.

23:54And, see, I didn't know, I didn't, you know, that was my first time.

23:58I know when we went for the tryouts, that's when it was.

24:02And the guy was like, hey, y'all want to ride with me?

24:05You know, yeah, okay, man.

24:08We got in this vehicle.

24:09We rode, you know.

24:10And I guess we went to New York.

24:12Man, I don't really know, man.

24:14I say New York because I've seen New York license plates.

24:17Oh, okay.

24:19The way that Pennsylvania, New York, and Jersey is connected is still a mystery to me.

24:27I didn't pay attention when it came to, you know, that type of stuff in school.

24:33I just didn't pay attention.

24:34And, honestly, I didn't pay attention to a lot of things, and I'm quite intrigued of how I actually got

24:41out of elementary school.

24:49I would tell you, man, you know what?

24:51I say how I got out of high school.

24:54Elementary school, that's going way back.

24:57But I understand what you mean, though, man.

24:59Sometimes I wonder, too.

25:01You know, I'm like, hey, man.

25:02I made it, though.

25:04And most of my learning came during my adult life, not growing up being taught that.

25:12And that's sometimes I was like, man, you know, after I became an adult and I made all these mistakes,

25:20but then there were learning mistakes.

25:23But here's the thing, like, when you were younger, like, five and between five and seven, you know, when you

25:30get into kindergarten and stuff, those are some of the most crucial years because that's when, you know, your learning

25:35patterns are going to stick in.

25:37After about seven years old, half of that stuff that they teach us, we don't even use anyway.

25:42But as far as consistency and developing patterns and being good with, you know, working and stuff like that, my

25:50mom used to say, now, don't let them call me today.

25:55Don't let me call you and don't make me come up to play, basically.

26:03Yeah.

26:04Hey, don't feel bad.

26:05Hey, same with me, man.

26:07At the school call, my dad said, you take them up there.

26:10They said, because if not, I'm going to take him over there to where I work and he's going to

26:13get a job.

26:14And I was like, man, you know what?

26:16It's not even worth getting in trouble because I did not want to work at the factory where he worked

26:21at.

26:23That's right.

26:24Yeah.

26:24I'm sure my dad said that I had to work on a garbage truck.

26:27That wouldn't have worked either.

26:29No.

26:29Yeah.

26:30You know, so.

26:33All right.

26:34So let's see.

26:35We're going to Pittsburgh.

26:36Miss Alicia says.

26:38Brace yourself, everybody.

26:40Here we go.

26:41I've been with my boyfriend for almost four years.

26:43We love each other.

26:44We communicate well about most things and we've talked seriously about getting married.

26:48But every time we discuss money, we seem to end up having the same argument.

26:52I make more money than he does.

26:54I work hard to get where I am and I take pride in being financially responsible.

26:59I have.

27:01Can my retirement account and try to avoid taking on debt unless there's a clear reason.

27:06My boyfriend has a different relationship with money.

27:09He believes money is meant to be enjoyed.

27:11If he wants to take a trip, buy new clothes or upgrade his electronics, he doesn't see a problem with

27:18spending it as long as he can make the monthly payments.

27:20He isn't irresponsible in every area of his life.

27:25He works consistently and contributes to our household expenses, but he doesn't plan very far ahead and sometimes treats my

27:32savings as though they're available for us to share.

27:36Recently, we started discussing moving into a larger place together.

27:41I suggested we establish a budget first, agree on how to split the expenses and determine how much we could

27:48realistically save.

27:50I said I was making our future together like a business transaction.

27:54That hurt.

27:55I'm not trying to keep score.

27:57I just want us to build something sustainable.

28:01But I'm tired of being the person who thinks about security deposits, the emergency fund, the insurance, and what happens

28:08if one of us loses a job.

28:11When unexpected expenses come up, I use the money available.

28:15He usually has a reason why he can't contribute as much as we originally discussed.

28:20Sometimes I cover the difference because I don't want a disagreement to ruin our plans.

28:24Other times I feel resentful because I know that if I stop managing the details, some of our bills will

28:30be late or our plans will fall apart.

28:33Last week, I asked him how he envisioned us handling our finances after marriage, and he said we'll figure that

28:41out when that time came.

28:42I told him that our marriage wouldn't automatically resolve our disagreements about money.

28:47He accused me of caring more about financial security than about us.

28:51I haven't been able to stop thinking about that conversation, but I don't want to spend 20 years feeling responsible

28:59for both of our financial futures.

29:01I also don't want to assume that because we handle money differently, our relationship is doomed.

29:07Maybe we need a better system.

29:09Maybe we need more honest conversations, or maybe we're avoiding a difference in values that will become harder to manage

29:17over time.

29:18So my question, how do you build it with someone you love?

29:22Have different ideas about spending, saving, and financial responsibility?

29:27Burb, man, how can you help Alicia?

29:29Like I say, hey, he better wake up because you know what?

29:33It's not too many women that thinks clearly like that.

29:39But, and see, it seems like he's, you know, he's still in his childish moods or ways, and he just

29:49want to spend his money willy-nilly.

29:52And, you know, because I read that, and at first I was like, wow, man, you know, this is kind

30:00of like,

30:01I always, like I said, I always read them, and each day or each time I read them, I get

30:08a different perspective.

30:10And this was one of them where she's looking out financially where he's like people growing up,

30:21and it's almost like it's been something that's been cast down.

30:25Oh, spend your money while you can, or enjoy your money while you can.

30:32And that's something that's been passed down from generations to generations.

30:36Absolutely.

30:37Yes, sir.

30:38And, you know, we all, I can say this, we all have heard it from either parents, a family member,

30:50or some, just some friends.

30:52You know, if you got it, spin it.

30:56And, you know, after, I mean, I have to admit that my parents, they never said nothing to me because

31:04my, you know,

31:05they said, hey, you living on your own, but you got to think about, you know,

31:15what's going to happen if something happens?

31:18Who's going to take care of you?

31:20And the first thing my mom, how she used to put it, she said, when we're not there, what are

31:26you going to do?

31:28And I had to think about that.

31:29I had to really seriously think about it because, I mean, I said, well, I have kids.

31:40And my mom said, and you're going to depend on that?

31:43You know, and I'm like, well, you depend on, she said, no, we don't.

31:47Your dad and I have not, we never depended on you to help us in times of trouble.

31:55And I have found out the more I talk to people, it's always the woman that controls the money.

32:03And a lot of the men don't like that because they feel like they're not a man if the woman

32:12is the one that controls the finances.

32:17That's an interesting perspective.

32:20Yeah.

32:21Well, you know, like I said, you know, by me, you know, I've talked to a lot of people, hung

32:29out with people and talked to them, been a counselor.

32:32And everybody that I know, I've talked to, I've had men who say, she better not make more money than

32:40me.

32:40And I'm like, why?

32:43He said, oh, she make more money than me.

32:46I ain't no man.

32:47I said, oh, I said, so I said, wait a minute, hold up.

32:51If y'all together, you got to realize, too, when y'all together, then it's like.

32:58Like, you're supposed to split everything.

33:04And a lot of people don't feel that way.

33:08You know, if one person and that's what a lot of mess up at.

33:12If one person start taking care of majority of the bills, that other person going to start just doing what

33:19they want, going out, buying because they I went through it.

33:26You know, you know, I went through it, you know, because I for whatever reasons, you know, I lose a

33:32job or whatever happened.

33:36And, you know, so my income was like, oh, man, this is what I got to do, you know.

33:42And even though I said, hey, let's talk about these bills.

33:46I was in it.

33:47Like I said, I was in a situation where she never wanted to talk about, you know, splitting the bills.

33:53No, you take care of this.

33:55I take care of this.

33:55And that's it.

33:56And if you can't get it, then we just do it out.

34:00And that's.

34:01Yeah.

34:02Yeah.

34:03And trust me, the marriage did not last long.

34:09And you know what?

34:10I put it like this.

34:11The marriage lasted longer than what it should have.

34:16So I told you what the name of my new book that I have coming out and I'm going to

34:19do an album with it till I'm going into the studio.

34:21Do you remember what I told you what it was called?

34:24No.

34:25OK, so the title of my new book and it's going to have a soundtrack album to it is called

34:31After All the Shit That I've Been Through.

34:33Oh, OK.

34:34So, so I'm going to help Alicia with this more Lisa, Alicia.

34:41Can I say something right quick?

34:43Yeah.

34:43I hope you self-publishing that because of the title itself.

34:51I hope you self-publishing that because if you go to a publishing company, they're going to say, oh, no,

34:56no, no.

34:57You got to change this title.

34:59Right.

34:59OK, so we go help Alicia after all the shit that I've been through.

35:04OK, so you've been with your boyfriend for almost four years.

35:08OK, and you love each other.

35:10But when you can communicate with mostly everything.

35:14But when it comes to money, there seem to be an argument.

35:17OK.

35:18Yeah.

35:20When did the argument start?

35:21That's the first thing.

35:22When did the argument start?

35:24And that's a clear sign right then and there.

35:26You both have two different aspects when it comes to money.

35:29Clearly, you can see.

35:31Like I said earlier, what was a couple of podcasts ago, I was talking to Queen Dawn Spare.

35:36You can have two people work at the same job, but their bank accounts look different.

35:40Making the same exact money.

35:42But when you peel back the onion and look, both of them will have two different balances in our bank

35:47account.

35:48That's because both of them have different relationships with money.

35:51And Birdman, you said something about it's been passed on to generation to generation.

35:55You're absolutely right.

35:56And sometimes you're blessed and you can break that generational curse.

36:01But I remember one family member when I was speaking about money, they said that they're going to go ahead

36:07and take all of their money and spend it because they can't take it with them.

36:09So, then I hit them with scripture and say, well, God says that a good man will leave an inheritance

36:16to his children's children.

36:17And then it came on about how they're just going to go ahead and take all of their money and

36:21spend it because they can't take it with them.

36:25So, it sounds like he's on one of those types of things.

36:29And, you know, you're doing your thing with the finances and saving and retirement accounts.

36:33Like, you know that type of verbiage.

36:35And based off of what I'm reading here, if you ask your boyfriend what a brokerage account is, what does

36:44your 401k look like, how do you access this, how do you access that, I'm sure it would be a

36:49heck of a lot different.

36:51With that being said, there you go.

36:53That's another red flag.

36:54Again, did you guys have this type of situation when you decided to move in?

36:59And now, I'm going to go ahead and flip it on home, girl, too.

37:04Because if you notice you have a different mindset when it comes to money, where are you abandoning yourself by

37:11staying in this type of situation with somebody where you got to be going back and forth?

37:15Remember, you've already lost a game.

37:19The minute that you go back and forth around arguing or debating with somebody about something that is outside of

37:25you, his relationship with money is outside of you.

37:28That has nothing to do with you, but that has everything to do with him.

37:31It has everything to do with how he was raised.

37:33And here, you are making this a part of you, and you're going back and forth, and you're debating, and

37:38you're losing the game.

37:39Don't go back and forth arguing with people about something that is outside of you that you can't control and

37:44you can't change.

37:45The only person that you can control and change is self.

37:48And again, and I know that that's so hard because it took me about 40 years until I decided that

37:54I can control somebody who's reckless with money.

37:58It's not just, it is what it is.

38:00I don't get it.

38:03So he's not irresponsible in every aspect of his life.

38:06He gets up and pays bills and does that.

38:09Some people will get up and go to work and do a great job and hustle and work overtime just

38:13to be able to get a whole bunch of money to go ahead and give it to somebody else.

38:17Their main goal is to pay somebody else before they even think about paying themselves.

38:21They'd rather pay all of their bills.

38:23They'd rather go finance expensive cars, and they're just overbroke, just a little bit overbroke, enough to where you can

38:35go ahead and keep your head above the water.

38:37But as soon as that boss decides to do the 180, as soon as somebody says we want all of

38:42our money now, your whole world falls apart.

38:45Majority of the world is just overbroke.

38:49They love that J-O-B.

38:51They're so focused on that J-O-B.

38:55Just a little bit overbroke.

38:57Bart, you recently started discussing and moving into a larger place?

39:03Okay.

39:06Aren't you both going back and forth and having issues with what you got going on now?

39:10And now you're going to discuss moving into a larger place so you can have more issues?

39:16I'm not quite sure I even need to continue to go down the rest of this letter.

39:20Clearly, you both have two different mindsets.

39:23And if you don't get from around this situation here, your mindset is surely going to change because, again, I

39:29don't know who I'm speaking to.

39:31I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

39:32If you stay around it for too long, you're going to start to pick up some of these habits, and

39:36they'll be kind of hard to break.

39:37And you'll become discouraged because you are trying to change somebody when the only person that you can change yourself.

39:45What you got, Birdman?

39:46Because, I mean, that list can go on and on and on.

39:49Oh, yeah.

39:50And, you know, and also I was thinking, I'm like, wow, they don't even have kids.

39:55And just think about if they had kids, how would he act?

40:00Because he's already acting like he's 18 years old.

40:04You know, she said when he wants to go buy these things, he just go and get them without, you

40:11know, consulting her.

40:14Well, that's what it sounds like.

40:17I know somebody.

40:18Go ahead.

40:18I'm sorry.

40:19No, go ahead.

40:20Go ahead.

40:21No, I said I know somebody who ended their marriage and walked out because somebody decided to purchase a car,

40:28which is a major purchase, without consulting, without checking out.

40:33Because, listen, your car insurance, you're going to have an extra monthly payment.

40:40Like, you're going to do major purchases without consulting and checking in with the spouse first?

40:46Absolutely not.

40:48I can't say it about that because I did that one time.

40:52But, no, no, no.

40:55I'm going to tell you the situation was I did it because it didn't change anything around the household.

41:03So, and, sure enough, like, two weeks after I purchased a different car, the one I traded in was sitting

41:13on the side of the road.

41:15Well, yeah, that's different.

41:17Yeah.

41:18Yeah.

41:18But, you know, you're right about that.

41:21You know, I mean, like I said, I know people like that.

41:24And I've ran across people who have said their wife better not make more money than them.

41:31And I'm like, wait, hold up, man.

41:33You said better not?

41:35I'm like, wow.

41:37I said, is it?

41:38I said, okay.

41:40But I said, whatever is going on with y'all, you know, as far as she is spending the money,

41:50telling you about it, and you enjoying the fruits.

41:54And I don't care.

41:55I don't care.

41:56I'm the man of the house, and I run this, and I run that.

41:59And I said, okay.

42:00I said, hey, dude, I'm done talking to you.

42:05You know?

42:06And he called me a few names, you know, which I expect him to.

42:11I didn't care because I'm like, hey, man, I said, I wish I could find a woman that made more

42:18money than me.

42:19I said, shoot, I wouldn't complain at all.

42:22I said, I'd be happy, and I contribute what I could as long as I'm living comfortable.

42:32Exactly.

42:32Nothing wrong.

42:33As long as you're doing the right things, following those spiritual laws and contributing whatever you can, and you learn

42:39from somebody who is willing to teach you, you're bound to level up.

42:44But that's the problem.

42:45People don't realize what they have in front of them until what they say.

42:49What was that, Joni Mitchell?

42:51I don't know what you got until it's on.

42:53Right.

42:53And my dad, I know one time he was like, he said, tell me something.

42:59He said, this chick over here, what she got?

43:04And I just looked at him.

43:06He said, don't give me that old crazy look.

43:09He said, answer the question.

43:11And I said, yeah.

43:12I said, hey, man.

43:13I said, we just talking.

43:14He said, that's too much right there.

43:18Even that's too much right there.

43:19I said, you know, but I understood what he was saying, though.

43:24Right.

43:24And that's the thing when you get wrapped up and trapped up and they're not on the same level.

43:30Exactly.

43:31And that's what he was telling me.

43:32He said, he said, you know, he just said that he said, look, man, he said, whatever else y'all

43:38doing together, it might be fine.

43:41He said, but hey, when them bills come out, can you handle them bills?

43:46Exactly.

43:47Exactly.

43:48And that's the thing when you try to, you abandon yourself so that you can be in a relationship with

43:57someone on the same level as you.

43:58You know that it's wrong.

44:00You know that it's wrong.

44:01But once you start to have those physical attractions, now everything goes out.

44:06Reasoning goes out the window for about two years.

44:09And just in case y'all didn't know, once you start taking it there on a physical level with some,

44:15your emotions and hormones take over.

44:18And like Missy Elliott said, my hormones dropping like a disco popping like some Crisco for the first two years.

44:30It's a mess.

44:31That's why they say don't make any big decisions after you start dating somebody for the first two years because

44:36you don't even know what you're doing.

44:38It's like the dopamine effect that you get.

44:43They say that's more powerful or just as powerful as somebody who snorts cocaine.

44:51You know what else, too?

44:55I always look at it like this.

44:57A relationship is similar to you.

45:00And I know a lot of people are going to probably, they have rolled their eyes when I say this.

45:05But a relationship is almost, it's almost like a business.

45:09It is like a business transformation.

45:11It is because, because, you know, like say you start a business and I mean, I know we talked about

45:19this last week and I always say it takes at least five years to see any anything.

45:27So in a relationship, I mean, man, I used to be told by older guys, hey, man, you know, say,

45:35how long y'all been together?

45:37Oh, man, you still in honeymoon stage.

45:39How long have you been together?

45:41Five years.

45:41Oh, you in the honeymoon stage.

45:43Six years, seven years.

45:44He's all the honeymoon is over.

45:46Hell getting ready to break open now, you know.

45:55He said the honeymoon stage is over, you know, and I come to find out that that was kind of

46:02true.

46:03Yeah.

46:05Yeah.

46:06All right.

46:07All right.

46:07We up against the clock and I almost lost my train of thought.

46:11That's something that I was just about to say something as we close up, but I lost my train of

46:16thought.

46:17Wow.

46:17Oh, yeah.

46:18It might come back to me, but go ahead, Birdman.

46:21Let everybody know what you got going on this week.

46:24Yeah, okay.

46:27Tomorrow, I'm not really sure if it's continued because I haven't heard no more.

46:31It's supposed to be an open mic out of New Mexico.

46:35It's a guy that I met him up in Austin, and he's supposed to be having an open mic tomorrow

46:42night.

46:43I know Sunday is, since it's the beginning of the month, and it's just one spot.

46:50I just signed up to read.

46:53I have a reading Sunday afternoon from 1 to 2.30.

47:00My books are at Amazon.com slash author slash Birdman313.

47:09Goodreads.com slash Birdman313.

47:13You can go to YouTube.

47:16I've downloaded some new videos.

47:20YouTube.com slash authorpoetbirdman31355.

47:26You can go to Instagram, where I've been posting poems.

47:31I've been posting pictures and a few videos.

47:36It's Instagram, Birdman31355.

47:41Spotify, I have videos there.

47:46It's Birdman313.

47:48It's on the coffee, wine, and words platform.

47:54Still working with music.

47:56I just did something, which I'm waiting to hear from my collaborator about it.

48:04She said she's going to try to put something to it.

48:08But, you know, I put the video in the base, and she's going to try to do something with it.

48:13I don't know if she's going to put some words.

48:15And even if she don't, I may just go ahead and read a poem and put, you know, one of

48:20my poems to it.

48:21But that's basically what I've just been doing.

48:25Taking pictures, shooting videos, hanging out at the parks, and just chilling and relaxing.

48:32And that's what's up.

48:34That's what's up.

48:35It's like a nice, relaxing schedule.

48:38Something that you like to do.

48:40Yes.

48:40Which is so important.

48:41I spoke about that yesterday.

48:42Ladies and gentlemen, find something that you like.

48:45Matter of fact, scratch that.

48:46Find something that you love to do.

48:48And it won't even feel like you're working.

48:51So, whole nother story.

48:54Yeah.

48:54All right.

48:55So, I got to get out of here.

48:57I got Queen Dawn Spirit coming up next.

49:00I got to get ready for her podcast.

49:03And, yeah, it's been crazy this week.

49:06So, yeah.

49:08Got a lot going on.

49:11All right.

49:11So, I will holler at you.

49:13I will see you when I see you.

49:15And thank you so much for coming on.

49:17I appreciate you.

49:18Hey, thank you for having me, man.

49:21I'm enjoying it.

49:23You know what?

49:24Just a quick second.

49:26I want to say.

49:27Me coming on here.

49:29And I've learned a whole lot.

49:31I thought I knew about finances.

49:34But I'm finally learning more.

49:37And I was like, wow, I missed out on a lot of things.

49:40I wish I could have known this when I was younger.

49:46You ain't the only one.

49:47I got you.

49:48Thank you so much for that feedback, though.

49:50But I hear you.

49:52I hear you.

49:53But, you know, I'm just now I've been getting all this, you know, like I said, from this podcast, from

49:59you and I, especially since you and I've been talking.

50:03And it has gotten better for me.

50:06And I understand it more.

50:08And I feed it to my son.

50:11You know, I talk to him about it.

50:13And, you know, so he's listening.

50:16And, you know, whether he's doing it, I don't know.

50:20All I can do is just feed it to him.

50:22And, you know, like they said, you can take the horse to the water trough, but you can't make him

50:28drink it.

50:29I know that's right.

50:30Yeah.

50:30But as long as it's there and you continue to do your job, listen, we both on the same page.

50:35I got you.

50:36Yeah.

50:37Yeah.

50:38Yeah.

50:40All right.

50:40Let me get on up out of here so I could do this quick change and get ready for this

50:44podcast.

50:45Okay.

50:46Okay.

50:47Okay.

50:48All right.

50:49So I'll reach out to you and I'll see you.

50:52I'll see you.

50:53Okay.

50:53Take care, man.

50:55Yeah.

50:57Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.

50:58Author, poet, Birdman, 313.

51:08Some great words.

51:09Like I say, whenever I minister to you, I minister to myself.

51:12I woke up around 40 years old.

51:17So it's never too late.

51:20It's just what you do.

51:21Once you get the information, you can get the information, but if you sit on it and you don't act

51:24on it, then what's the point?

51:26So it's a changing, you know, the dynamic that's doing that financial paradigm shift in your life, in your world.

51:35So I want to get out of here real quick, because I know I'm up against this clock here, but

51:38I was just thinking of the song, Teddy Pendergrass.

51:41And I don't know the exact title, but I know he says, it's all good loving somebody when somebody loves

51:46you back.

51:46And in that record, he says, I'm talking about a 50-50 love.

51:50So that's basically what it comes to this.

51:53Birdman, he said, a relationship is a business.

51:54A marriage is a business.

51:56Absolutely.

51:57You have to look into that as a business.

51:59And guess what?

51:59Check it.

52:00We are going to have a business meeting, and we're going to discuss the budgets.

52:03We're going to discuss what's coming in and what's going out.

52:05Yes, this is a business, and we want to make this succeed.

52:08And you can't be out there reckless doing what you want to do and messing up the business's money.

52:13So let's go ahead and have this conversation and talk and communicate about money.

52:18That is so important.

52:20Finances are the reason why, you know, the divorce rates are what they are, because people don't want to communicate

52:25properly, and they are messing up spiritual law when it comes to handling money.

52:3350-50 when it comes to the financial aspect, especially when you both can handle it and do it the

52:39right way.

52:39I get that somebody might make more, and it may not always be 50-50, but are you doing your

52:4450-50?

52:45Forget about what the other person makes, but are you putting in your 50-50 in this type of situation?

52:53All right, I'm going to get on up out of here.

52:54Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for another episode of the 4-in-1 Podcast.

52:59And as my mentor used to tell me, be very careful, because you know, y'all, when you lay down

53:07with dogs, you're able to wake up with fleas.

53:10On that note, ladies and gentlemen, I will see you when I see you.

53:14Take care, y'all.

53:15Have a good night.

53:29Have a good night.

53:44Bye.

We Love Each Other But We Can't Agree On Money | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 66)

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