00:00With domestic violence, we really want to try as much as possible to get people out of an
00:05unsafe environment. And the fact that they can't physically leave right now in a lot of cases
00:12is what's really making this situation, I think, feel so much worse.
00:17My name is Sarah Eldridge. I'm the Assistant Program Director at Barrier-Free Living's
00:24Secret Garden Program, a non-residential domestic violence program. So domestic violence is
00:33a system of power and control in an interpersonal relationship. It means that one person in the
00:40relationship has more power or control over the other person. And they implement this power and
00:48control using a variety of tactics. This could be economic abuse, psychological, verbal, physical,
00:57sexual. During COVID-19, Secret Garden has had to shift our operations a bit so that we can continue
01:06to support survivors. So we are working remotely and we're offering phone and video sessions to provide
01:13counseling and case management just over the phone. We have a lot of concerns due to COVID. Now survivors
01:20are at home with the abusers a lot more frequently and they don't have access to the same sort of
01:27privacy they might have had in the past to make a call. Instead of seeing an influx of calls, we've
01:33actually seen a decline. My name is Aziza. I'm a licensed mental health counselor and I'm a domestic
01:39violence advocate. My advocacy is around empowering people that are in abusive relationships. Inspired by
01:50experience that I have had just seeing loved ones deal with domestic violence, dealing with
01:57relationships where they were not treated as they should be. The recent experience that happened since
02:04everybody having to kind of be under quarantine staying home was boyfriend and girlfriend and he
02:12was observed yelling at her, hitting her in front of the building. So she called the police. The unfortunate
02:19part of that situation is that he went back into his apartment. The police did come. No arrests were made.
02:29There was
02:29definitely concern in regards to if she was okay. There wasn't really an outcome in regards to someone
02:39just being able to directly speak to the person that there was concern over. And there wasn't really much
02:47that I could do because I have to also isolate myself. COVID-19 definitely adds to it being even more
02:57complicated. Before folks would come into our office. It would be a break for them. It would be a safe
03:03place
03:04that they could go. Now it's a lot harder for people to find safety. In the past, if the situation
03:10was
03:10escalating, a victim might be able to step out of the home, right? They could go for a walk. They
03:16could go
03:16to a neighbor's house. They could go to a family member's house. Right now they don't have those options. So
03:22it
03:22can be, you know, the violence is escalating. They might not have somewhere to go to help deescalate it.
03:28So those escape routes that people ordinarily have access to have oftentimes been really shut off.
03:35People don't necessarily want to leave right now because they're concerned for their safety at home
03:41versus the concern about possibly getting COVID or their children getting COVID.
03:46So that's really what they're struggling with right now. We've also noticed, you know, some survivors are
03:55being coerced to stay home to take care of an abuser who may have COVID or may just be saying
04:01that
04:02they have the COVID symptoms. Another concern that I have is that because a lot of times domestic violence
04:09comes to the attention of authorities or advocates when people are out there interacting in the world,
04:16right? They might be talking to their kid's teacher. They might go to a public, um, they might go to
04:23a
04:23public assistance office, right? They might just talk to a social worker or a case manager in any kind of
04:28context. Um, and then they disclose, yes, I'm going through this domestic violence situation. People are just not
04:35interacting with other workers or other advocates in the same way that they were before. So they're not
04:41necessarily going to even know how to access that help, right? Or have somebody checking in on them
04:48the way that that would have happened before. Um, so that's definitely a concern that we have is just
04:53that lack of eyes on folks and that lack of connection. I would say that I was, I have seen
04:58hundreds of
04:59domestic violence cases. And this is not in the frame of mind of the victims identifying as being in a
05:09domestic violence relationship, but definitely seeing the signs and knowing what those were.
05:15If you're a friend or a loved one and you are trying to be supportive of someone that is in
05:21a DV
05:22relationship, I would say to just keep in mind that your support is best received when it's
05:29nonjudgmental. As much as you love that person and you want to see them thrive, it is still their life
05:37and is still their decision to make as hard as that might be to grasp. So one thing that victims
05:45or
05:45survivors can do is, are there certain sort of trigger points that you know, you know what,
05:51if I talk about this, if I bring this up, I know that there's going to be an argument. Can
05:57I maybe
05:58avoid that subject, avoid that argument for now? If it's safe, can I put on a mask maybe and I
06:04go out
06:05for a walk? Can I try and make sure that we're staying in separate parts of the apartment or the
06:10home if that's possible? Really just starting to, trying to think creatively about how do I mitigate
06:18the risk as much as possible? Who are the emergency contacts that I know I can reach out to? Maybe
06:24even
06:25starting to reach out to friends and family now and say, hey, you know, I know that COVID is going
06:30on,
06:32but if I need to, could I stay with you for a week or so, right? Maybe you can come
06:37up with a plan
06:38to make that happen. And of course, definitely start reaching out to, you know, to domestic
06:44violence agencies if you're not connected already, if you can.
