- 2 days ago
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00:22I got really fucking drunk last night, smoked a bunch of dope till five in the morning, ended up passing
00:26out in the sewer pipe because it's kind of cramped back here and my back's been a little sore.
00:30Anyway, I slept there, had a pretty good sleep, but I still had to get up early this morning because
00:33I got responsibles now.
00:34Grow it up, I got kids. A lot of people say you can't smoke dope and get drunk when you
00:37have kids, and that's not true.
00:38You can, but you still got to get up in the morning. That's being responsible and being a man.
00:43Trin's been doing a lot of science fair stuff, trying to pass grade six, and Lucy wanted me to help
00:46out, so I had no problem with that.
00:47Trinity has not been doing as well this year as she usually does.
00:50I had a chance to talk with her teacher. He's a nice man. He's attractive, and we came up with
00:58a way for her to have a second chance.
01:00Got to do a few things to help her out with the project, and hand it in, and hopefully she'll
01:04get a passing grade learning.
01:05And sure, I'm fucking hung over and I'm burnt out, but that's what being a good dad's all about.
01:09...
01:16...
01:23...
01:24...
01:53Alright, that's great.
01:54Pick him up any time you want, tomorrow or the next day.
01:58I have no idea how it was possible, but that crazy Channel 10 story actually was great for business.
02:05People drop kitties off for me to look after and are going to pay me.
02:09They must have been able to just see through the bullshit and know that I actually doll out love to
02:13the kitties.
02:16Bubbles, where in the fuck is Oscar Goldman?
02:19Not sure.
02:21Ricky did tell me he was going to be leaving Oscar Goldman in my presence.
02:25And I thought I could deal with it, but it turns out I couldn't deal with it.
02:28So I let him go.
02:29I didn't know it was going to cause such a big problem with Trinity School, but I just couldn't deal
02:34with it.
02:35I let him go for reasons I'd rather not discuss at this point.
02:39Well, the worst part about all this is that Lucy was really happy about how much time I was spending
02:43with Trin.
02:43I was helping her out with her school.
02:45And I think Trin was actually learning from me, and Lucy saw that.
02:47It was kind of neat.
02:48Like, I helped her name the project, The Birth of Oscar Goldman.
02:51And now, of course, I lost him, and she's probably going to fail grade six.
02:55I don't know what Lucy's going to think about that.
02:56It's not going to be good.
02:59Well, you've got a bit of a situation.
03:02Oscar Goldman is missing.
03:03Nobody knows where he is.
03:05How is that possible?
03:07You were taking care of him.
03:08I know, but he's an idiot.
03:10All he does is run around and peck at things, looking at insects, stick his little beak in gum, and
03:14drives me nuts.
03:15Ricky, he's a little chicken.
03:18If Trinity flunks this project because Oscar Goldman is missing, I'm going to lose my fucking mind.
03:23At this point, it looks like Trinity is going to fail grade six.
03:26I don't think that's a real big deal.
03:28She'll have to go back next year, but, I mean, she probably learned a lot of the stuff this year,
03:31so next year, she's already heard people talk about it.
03:33She'll find it a lot easier, and she'll be bigger, so a lot of the other kids will think she's
03:36cooler.
03:37She can spend more time with her friends that way because she won't have to study as much,
03:40so it's really, it's not a bad thing at all.
03:43Julian, Oscar Goldman got out.
03:45You've got to help me find him.
03:46Can you help me find him?
03:47Well, I've got to get Bill and some clients.
03:49I'm not trying to do all Ricky's shit right now.
03:52That's the thing, Julian.
03:53It's not about Ricky.
03:54Hey, Trinity needs Oscar Goldman today, or she's going to fail grade six.
03:57I didn't know.
03:59How did he get loose?
04:01Not sure.
04:03All right, I'll be back in 15 minutes.
04:12I don't know how it got out, Ricky.
04:14I'm telling you.
04:15Oh, I don't understand, Bubz.
04:16It's in the thing, and now it's out.
04:17No, it doesn't make any sense.
04:19Take us a smoke stroke.
04:21Yeah, that's cool, Ricky.
04:23Thanks.
04:24So, did you find your chicken yet?
04:25No, I can't find the fucking thing anywhere.
04:27You didn't see it, did you?
04:28No, but I've been thinking about thinking, and I think I might even have an idea.
04:33I know where there's a chicken that looks just like yours, and I don't know why you just can't switch
04:36it out.
04:37What are you talking about?
04:38Well, I played video games with this guy, Trent, just over there, and on my way back, I noticed it's
04:41an identical chicken.
04:42I think it's its twin.
04:44Well, do you think Trinity's going to notice the difference, Trav?
04:47Actually, Ricky, those shifty little bastards, they all look the same.
04:51Nobody will know.
05:00I swear I thought it was you, Randy, if I didn't have a t-shirt on.
05:21What's up, dude?
05:21Hey, Corey, how are you?
05:22I haven't seen you.
05:23All right, Charlie, get in the car.
05:24Before we get that other chicken, Julian, I know you're busy with your real estate and stuff.
05:28Can you please do me a figure and help me find the original chicken?
05:31I'm going to get the replacement right now.
05:32Sure, man.
05:33Bubs, you helped Julian, all right?
05:34All right, Ricky.
05:37Good luck.
05:38Where the fuck is this chicken, Trevor?
05:47Trevor, it's fucking perfect.
05:49Same as Oscar Goldman.
05:49Good job.
05:50Man, I told you, Ricky.
05:52Go get the chicken.
05:54Love you, Ricky.
05:56Trevor, you've got to stop saying that, all right?
05:57Go get the fucking chicken.
05:59I can't stop saying that.
06:00I really do.
06:00Like, a lot.
06:02Trevor, go get the chicken, please.
06:05Love you, Ricky.
06:12Let's go, hurry up.
06:18I think he's friendly.
06:20Turn the fuck up, Trevor.
06:27Stop playing games, Trev.
06:29Fast, Ricky.
06:31Ow, it bit me.
06:34Are you trying to tell me a chicken's fucking smarter than you, Trev?
06:36He's not smarter than me, but it might be tougher.
06:40Dad, I got him.
06:42All right, good.
06:42Put him in the bag.
06:43Get the fuck over here.
06:45See, Ricky?
06:48What the fuck are you doing with my chick?
06:50Give me that.
06:51For fuck's sakes.
06:54Get over here.
06:56It's fucking Big Bear.
06:57Phantom 3-0.
06:57Come in.
06:58It's fucking Big Bear.
06:58Over.
06:59Mr. Poor Offense.
07:00There's Jack.
07:00What are you doing?
07:01What are you doing?
07:02Phantom 3-0.
07:02Come in.
07:03It's the fucking Big Bear.
07:04Big Bear.
07:05I need a fucking help.
07:06I watched the bucket mouthing on the air there.
07:08Rick, Jesus Christ.
07:09What's the problem, buddy?
07:10I need your situation.
07:11I need your help.
07:12My dad, you need to help me, please.
07:14Ricky, you know I'll help you, buddy.
07:17But you know the deal, too.
07:18Over.
07:18No, you stupid kid.
07:20Trevor, stop turtling.
07:21Fight back.
07:22What deal?
07:22You're my dad.
07:23Just help me out.
07:23Over.
07:26You know the deal, Rick.
07:28Okay, I'll be there in a minute.
07:29Over.
07:29Come on.
07:30Hang on.
07:31Jeez.
07:32What is he doing?
07:33I am a doctor.
07:34He's a mental patient.
07:35He's on drugs.
07:35Just brought him down here for a little nature time.
07:38Listen.
07:38Everything's cool.
07:39I want this boy taking me down.
07:42I want him taking me down.
07:43No, I'm taking him back to the hospital right now.
07:45He's a mental patient.
07:46I'm a mental doctor.
07:46I am.
07:47That's my doctor car right there.
07:49He's a fucking car, Trevor.
07:50I'm going to call the cops.
07:51Fuck's sake.
07:51I'm going to call the cops.
07:52Let's go on, Trevor.
07:54You don't have to call the cops and the doctor.
08:08Get out of the push, Trevor.
08:09Fuck's sake.
08:10Let's go.
08:31Corey.
08:32Back in the car.
08:34Watch your head, bud.
08:37Don't worry, Trin, they'll find him.
08:40Oh, and peanut butter sandwich for you.
08:41Thanks.
08:43Did you find Oscar Goldman?
08:44No.
08:45We looked everywhere. He's gone.
08:48Oh, that's perfect.
08:49So Ricky lost his daughter's science project.
08:51A grown man can't keep track of a chicken?
08:53That's pathetic.
08:55And so that means that I'm going to have to go back down to the school
08:57and beg her teacher for another chance.
08:58Do you know what I had to do to get this opportunity?
09:00She's going to flunk grade six because of this.
09:04Look, I feel horrible about Ricky losing the chicken, you know?
09:08I'll help you, Lucy.
09:09I'll put a suit on and I'll go down with you.
09:11I'll say I'm her dad and that I lost the chicken.
09:13We'll get you an extension.
09:14No, bubs.
09:16I'll go down with Lucy.
09:18And pretend that you're Trinity's father?
09:21Yeah.
09:24Perfect.
09:25Yeah, it works for me.
09:26I wouldn't miss this for anything.
09:28You're going to fail grade six.
09:30Trinity, you're not going to fail.
09:31I promise you we're going to fix this somehow.
09:34Don't worry, sweet.
09:34I'll take care of it, all right?
09:49Dad, I've got a major situation.
09:50Trinity's chicken's missing for a science thing.
09:52You've got to help me find it in the park.
09:53You know the deal, buddy.
09:55Deal?
09:56Deal.
09:58That time for a sit down and have a look at the place?
10:00Come on, Trevor, have a seat.
10:01Hey, just move that shit there.
10:02What do you think?
10:04It's going to be dumped.
10:06It's not bad.
10:07No, it's not too bad, I guess.
10:08Come on, have a seat.
10:09Come on, guys.
10:10We're kind of in a rush here.
10:12Come on, I need time for a beer.
10:13Come on, here, bud.
10:14Time for a beer.
10:15Come on.
10:16Here.
10:19Where do you piss around here, though?
10:21Through there, first door on the left, okay?
10:23There's fresh piss chugs around back.
10:25Help yourself.
10:25I need a piss jug.
10:27Yeah, suit yourself.
10:31Jesus, Trevor.
10:32Holy fuck.
10:33That arm label only fucked you up.
10:34It's bad, buddy.
10:35Yeah.
10:36Can you not tell anyone about this, Ray?
10:37I don't say anything, buddy.
10:39So, uh, you ever been beat up by a girl, Ray?
10:42No.
10:43Fuck!
10:46Ricky, what's the matter with you?
10:48What's going on?
10:49A snake just bit my fucking cock, Dad.
10:51Oh, for a cock.
10:53You all right?
10:55Fucking all right.
10:56You're only going to die.
10:58Come on, buddy.
10:59Let's come on out.
11:00You're not going to die, buddy.
11:01What if it's poisonous?
11:03Well, if it's poisonous, you're going to want to get somebody to suck the poison out of it right away.
11:06I've seen a lot of TV specials about snakes and snake bites, and that's what they always do.
11:10They suck the poison out.
11:11It's the most important thing you can do.
11:14What are you saying, Trevor?
11:16Can I have a piece of bread, please, Ray?
11:18Here.
11:19Help yourself.
11:20You're going to be all right, buddy.
11:21There's no poisonous snakes in Nova Scotia.
11:22Just let it air out for a couple hours, you'll be all right.
11:24How do you know that?
11:25What, you think you're the only guy to have his cock bitten by a snake?
11:29The only one I know of.
11:30Can happen to anybody.
11:33Can we go back to the park and find this chicken, please?
11:35Yeah, let's go get that chicken.
11:36When something else happens?
11:37Let's go.
11:38Come on.
11:38Trevor, unplug that cock mate there, will you, buddy?
11:41Yeah, it's right there.
11:42Look.
11:42Right here.
11:43Look.
11:45Move this.
11:48Trevor, Jesus.
11:49What?
11:50Look at it all tangled up.
11:52Pissed jugs and extension cords.
11:55Ray.
11:57Maybe if you didn't have extension cords and pissed jugs all over your place, this wouldn't have happened.
12:03Jesus Christ.
12:04Nobody else gets mixed up in it.
12:05What the fuck are you doing, Trevor?
12:07Get in the car.
12:08Get in the car.
12:08Make a piece of bread go.
12:08Get in the car.
12:10Come on.
12:10Let's go.
12:12Come on.
12:14Let's go.
12:47What the fuck are you doing?
12:49Come here, little putty.
12:51Have a rest.
12:54Just relax.
12:55Take a load off your feet.
13:02Fuck, fuck, fuck.
13:03Fuck yourself.
13:06Trevor, what's up, dude?
13:10How are you, man?
13:10I missed you.
13:11Man, what happened?
13:12Nothing.
13:14What happened?
13:15No talking, boys.
13:16Dad was in here.
13:17Somehow it got the fuck out.
13:18I don't know.
13:21Saying the chicken was in here?
13:24It was, Ray.
13:25All I can figure is that he either jumped it or he climbed up the gate here with his little
13:29clicker feet and knurled that off with his beak.
13:33Little chicken.
13:34With his little chicken feet opening that?
13:36They're crafty cocksuckers, Ray.
13:38They could do that.
13:39I don't think so about it.
13:40I've got to be perfectly honest with you guys.
13:42I don't know anything about tracking chickens.
13:44I just did it for the free liquor, but...
13:45So what do you think?
13:46I think it's an inside job, boys.
13:48That's what I think.
13:48What, somebody let it out?
13:49That's exactly what I mean.
13:51Who the fuck would do that?
13:52I don't know, boys.
13:54I don't think so.
13:55Dad, we've got to find this fucking thing.
13:57Can you find it?
13:57Shh.
13:58Like, I've got to get...
13:59Shh, Ray.
14:00I've got to get...
14:00Shh, shh, shh, shh.
14:01Shh.
14:02Why?
14:03Listen.
14:03Listen.
14:05Do you hear that?
14:07No.
14:07Are you drunk?
14:08Yes.
14:09But listen.
14:11And I don't like tricking my son.
14:14It's easy, but...
14:16But you know what?
14:17I developed this really good sense of hearing from being in the dump.
14:21You've got to.
14:21If you can't hear, you don't survive in there.
14:23You've got to be always listening for rats and snakes and fucking dumpies and squirrels.
14:31So I developed this hearing.
14:33I did hear a chicken.
14:34I'm not kidding you.
14:34I heard that chicken.
14:45It's real good, boys.
14:46I lost the trio.
14:47I need something to get me back on the scent.
14:50Oh, what could that be?
14:58Hey, guys, I found a mushroom that looks like a cock.
15:02Trevor, can you please stop thinking about cocks for ten seconds?
15:05It's a sign, boys. It's a sign.
15:08A cock is a male chicken.
15:11Boys, look. Look at this. Help my fuck.
15:15You see what that is? Those are chicken tracks, boys,
15:16and these are chicken feathers, and they lead right up to the fucking side of the door.
15:20Leahy's got the fucking chickens.
15:22Yeah. Trevor, lure him out of here.
15:28Mr. Leahy, Julian's out here lifting weights with his shirt off.
15:31I want you to come and have a drink with him.
15:34What's that, Trevor? Go get him. Shit!
15:37Get down, boys. What the heck is going on in here while we're here?
15:41What? Give me what I want and we'll leave.
15:43What are you talking about, Ricky? You have no idea what I'm talking about?
15:46Boys, take him in there. What?
15:52Know why I'm here now? No.
15:55Okay, fine. I'm just going to keep smashing stuff to give me what I want.
15:57I'll tell a bear to get all drunk and fucked over a kitchen. How about that?
16:08What the hell are you doing?
16:17Ricky, stop!
16:21Shit! It was me that let the dirty little fucking chicken out.
16:26What do you mean, Bubbles?
16:27I didn't want to tell you because I was embarrassed.
16:29It happened when I was a little guy, Ricky.
16:32Me and some other kids were fucking around over at Mr. Johnson's firm.
16:36He came out and chased us and we all ran and tried to jump the chicken coop and they all
16:40made it.
16:41But I slipped and went right through the fucking roof down into the coop.
16:44They pecked me unmercifully.
16:48And to this day, Ricky, I am terrified of chickens, alright?
16:54Bubbles, you should have said something. Look at this fucking place.
16:58Jim, I'm sorry.
16:59So you didn't kidnap the chicken?
17:02Why would I kidnap a chicken, Ricky?
17:05Let him go, boys.
17:07The chicken wandered in here half an hour ago.
17:11It's right down there.
17:13Trevor, get the chicken, will ya?
17:16Look, Jim, I'm sorry, alright?
17:17Just kinda lost control.
17:18I was worried about the chicken.
17:20I'll give you Trevor and Cora for the day.
17:21Hopefully they can fix this place up a bit.
17:23You're sorry.
17:25Thanks, Dad.
17:26Okay, buddy.
17:31Pretty good, guys.
17:33Looks good.
17:33Good research, too.
17:34Keep up the good work.
17:35Thanks.
17:39Excuse me.
17:40How you doing? Ricky, Trinity's dad.
17:43Hello.
17:43We've met, of course.
17:45Lucy.
17:45Hi.
17:46Can we talk to you for a second?
17:48Sure.
17:53We've got a bit of a problem with Trinity's chicken.
17:56I left the gate open today, the chicken walked out, we can't find it.
17:59It's missing.
18:01Is there any way you can get like a one-day extension for this marketing thing?
18:05Absolutely not, no.
18:06The students have to respect the deadlines.
18:08I'm sorry.
18:09If I don't get chicken from Trinity, she fails science.
18:12And unfortunately, fails grade six.
18:15Sorry.
18:15There's nothing I can do.
18:24Well, I came here today with the chicken.
18:25I didn't know what was gonna happen.
18:26I didn't know if she was gonna fail grade six.
18:27I was hoping she didn't like her dad, but no big deal if she did.
18:30Brought the chicken in, and basically I was just hoping to convince the teacher to not fail your grade learning,
18:35and I think I did that.
18:37This sucks.
18:37I'm gonna fail grade six.
18:39You know what?
18:40It's not your fault.
18:41Your teacher's a dick.
18:41I found him.
18:44What are you doing here, Julian?
18:45This isn't the time of a...
18:48Who are you?
18:49Trinity's dad.
18:50Who are you?
18:50I'm her teacher.
18:52I thought you were Trinity's father.
18:54Luce?
18:54Why does he think that?
18:55What's going on here, Lucy?
18:56Well, I had Julian fill in for you while you were checking out the chicken, so...
19:00All right.
19:01Well, anyway, may I present you with Oscar Goldman.
19:03I found him.
19:05I'm sorry.
19:05The deadline was this morning, and she missed it.
19:07Deadline's a deadline.
19:09Do you know what I went through to get this chicken?
19:10It was kind of like I was failing grade six again for the fourth time, and that kind of pissed
19:13me off.
19:14And then all of a sudden it hit me like this big light bright went on in my head, like...
19:18I'm failing grade six again here, and it's about life.
19:20And Trinity made a life-ing thing, basically, out of this chicken.
19:24And it started with a little eggy thing, and heated it up under these Inca-baker things, and it was
19:29born.
19:31Man, you've got to understand, like...
19:33This is science, but science is kind of like life.
19:36And I never really did that good in science.
19:37I failed grade six.
19:38I was drunk half the time, growing dope.
19:40That's neither there nor here.
19:41The point is, right here, this is life.
19:44I mean, we've got this project here with volcano-themed things.
19:47That's not alive.
19:48I mean, I don't even know what the hell that is.
19:50It's a good attempt by somebody, but...
19:53Obviously, that child's not as smart as my daughter.
19:55I mean, she's a brilliant kid.
19:56She's smarter than me.
19:56She's probably smarter than you, because you don't really look that bright.
19:59And we've got this project over here about brains.
20:01And that's just a bunch of stuff thrown together there.
20:03It doesn't even look like a brain.
20:04It's a horse's brain.
20:05It's bigger than a person's brain.
20:06Look how hard she worked on this.
20:07And she took this thing, and she made it well-grow it up into a men-conditioned chicken,
20:10like, feeding it, and giving it water, and keeping it warm and stuff.
20:15She doesn't deserve to fail this, because I was late with her chicken.
20:19Like Oscar Goldman, look at him.
20:21That's a nice-looking chicken right there.
20:23Just because her dad's a bit of a fuck-up, pardon my language, in front of all these kids,
20:27doesn't mean she should fail grade six like her dad did.
20:32Let me see the chicken.
20:37You can't hold this against her just because her dad's stupid.
20:40That is a nice chicken.
20:41She did a great job.
20:42That's what I'm saying.
20:43It's just a little bit late.
20:44Is this the chicken you raised, Trinity?
20:46Yeah.
20:46This is your chicken.
20:49Alright then.
20:50Okay.
20:51You passed.
20:52Congratulations.
20:54And listen, if you...
20:55I'm growing a lot of dough if you want some dough for something later.
20:57I'd really appreciate this, okay?
20:59Big time.
20:59Sure.
21:00Thanks.
21:01Oh, my God.
21:02I can't believe you did it.
21:03Oh.
21:04It saved the day, man.
21:06It's been a hell of a day loose.
21:07Let me tell you.
21:09You should talk about it.
21:10Well, good luck with your science-y thing, Trane.
21:12Thanks.
21:12I'm sorry that we lost it, but we got it back.
21:16Charlotte, we gotta go talk about some stuff.
21:17We'll be back later.
21:21You know, Rick, you know what really turns me on?
21:23Responsibility.
21:24And you know, at school today, you were very, very, very responsible.
21:31Yeah?
21:32Yeah.
21:34Lucy, I can't do anything.
21:36Snake bit my cock.
21:39You can still hook a girl up, you know what I'm saying?
21:58I'm happy to hit a hook.
21:59I love it.
22:00You can't grade speed with your milk.
22:01You can't get some PBS стал Easter di Beginner with your realized.
22:03You have everything you noticed.
22:03You're pretty cool with지를 Sum —
22:07And I'm going to end today.
22:09You can't afford all of your hair.
22:10The noticed symptoms are not, all your farther, all your hair, all your hair.
22:31I'll see you next time.