A short record of one April evening: a father, a set of exam results, a sentence he regretted, and an hour spent washing a car that was already clean.
Guilt is act-focused — I did a bad thing — and it hands you a job: go up, say it, repair it. Shame is self-focused — I am a bad thing — and there is no job attached, because you cannot fix what you believe you are. So it conceals.
Four months later the results arrived and the boy told his mother.
https://resilientwisdom.com/shame-resilience-men
https://resilientwisdom.com/the-shame-that-built-your-armor-why-men-perform-strength
