00:00How much would it cost you to theoretically call someone on the moon?
00:06It'd be about $1,000.
00:08Right.
00:08I don't need you to answer that question.
00:09I was going to give you the answer.
00:11At the same time, calling Mars would cost about $650,000.
00:16So how do we know this?
00:17Well, there's a group called tollfreeforwarding.com.
00:22They're a privately held international telecommunications provider based in L.A.
00:27And the calculations were made as part of a project to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the film E.T.
00:33Oh, because E.T. phones home.
00:35That is correct.
00:36Oh, okay.
00:36And they're focusing on one scene in particular when E.T., which, by the way, did you guys know E.T.'s planet has a name?
00:45Yeah, I did.
00:46Well, I knew you would know.
00:48But, no, you guys...
00:49Queef Splat.
00:49Does he say it?
00:50Queef Splat.
00:51No, Queef Splat.
00:54Well, that's how we say it.
00:55No, it's called Brodo Asogi.
00:59No sad Brodo Asogi.
01:00Yeah.
01:01I like Queef Splat better.
01:02Queef Splat better.
01:03That's how we say it in our native tongue.
01:05Uh, so...
01:05Which we have three.
01:07You have three tongues?
01:08Yeah.
01:08One's in our butts.
01:11That's why we don't need bidets.
01:15Self-cleaning.
01:16Self-cleaning.
01:16Yep.
01:17It's like an oven.
01:18Uh...
01:19Hold on.
01:20Uh...
01:20Didn't know that, did you?
01:23I didn't know.
01:24So, when...
01:25With Queef Splat, do they...
01:27In the movie, do they suggest how far it is?
01:30Yeah.
01:30Well, there's a way to figure this out.
01:32So, um...
01:33He calls home.
01:35He calls Queef Splat.
01:36He calls Brodo Asogi.
01:37Yeah, can you put my one?
01:39And, uh...
01:40So, they had some...
01:41They tried to figure out...
01:41I don't want to talk to him!
01:42...how much it would cost.
01:44And the number they came up with is roughly 76 quadrillion dollars.
01:5076 quadrillion.
01:51Now, that is...
01:52Let me tell you how many zeros that is.
01:53Three, six, nine, twelve, three, four, and a fifth.
01:56That's 50.
01:57It's a number with 15 zeros after it.
01:59Okay.
02:00So, that's how big a quadrillion is.
02:02Can I borrow 76 quadrillion dollars?
02:04So, it's known that Brodo Asogi is located at a distance of 3 million light years from Earth.
02:11Okay.
02:12So, a light year is...
02:15Let me see.
02:15Three, six, nine, twelve.
02:18So, this is five...
02:19It's almost six quadrillion miles.
02:22Wow.
02:23Okay.
02:23So, you think of, like, the sun is 93 million miles from Earth.
02:27So, you put that in perspective.
02:28Yeah.
02:29That's way out there.
02:30The plot really is starting to fall apart here.
02:32Yeah.
02:32It's 3 million light years away.
02:33I mean, that's 3 million years if you're traveling at speed of light to get here.
02:37Yes.
02:37And how could he contact them?
02:38Well, maybe...
02:39Well, yeah.
02:40I mean...
02:40We got a call waiting.
02:42It would...
02:42The calls or broadcast signals can go at the speed of light.
02:47Yeah.
02:48So, it would take 3 million years for it to reach there.
02:50I'm starting to not believe this movie anymore.
02:51I'm saying.
02:52Yeah.
02:52I'd like to speak to my jerk mate, please.
02:54Maybe they...
02:54Yeah.
02:57Yo, ever heard of jerk mate?
02:59I do, me.
03:00You want to use your butt tongue, don't you?
03:01Absolutely.
03:01I got a butt tongue ready for you.
03:03Um...
03:03Nick, maybe they found a way to communicate through a wormhole.
03:08All right.
03:09All right.
03:09All right.
03:09You're bringing me back in.
03:10Am I bringing you back in?
03:11Yeah.
03:11All right.
03:11So...
03:11It still seems absurd.
03:13It sure does.
03:13You know, my planet was a botanist.
03:15We know that...
03:16It was a full-blown, accredited botanist.
03:19A light year is about 6 quadrillion miles.
03:22So, to calculate the distance from Earth to, uh...
03:25Queesplat, we have to multiply that by 3 million.
03:29And you get a number...
03:31I can't even tell you what this would be.
03:33Uh...
03:34Let me get you the number of zeros.
03:353, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18...
03:39Hi.
03:39I have 21 zeros after it.
03:43All right.
03:43So...
03:43Nick, can you say...
03:45Can you...
03:45It would be like septillion, right?
03:47Search.
03:47Yeah.
03:48What...
03:48A number with 21 zeros would be called what?
03:54So...
03:55Sextillion.
03:56Sextillion.
03:56Okay.
03:57So...
03:57Oh, yeah.
03:5817...
03:58You're gonna be my regular Borf Black.
04:00Yo, ever heard of jerk, mate?
04:02My regular what?
04:03Borf Black.
04:04Is that me?
04:06That's, uh...
04:07They don't work on Borf Black.
04:09Borf Black, yeah.
04:10Yeah, you're off work now, right?
04:11Yeah.
04:13Of course.
04:15Oh, that's an insane distance.
04:21I want everyone to meet E.T.
04:23Oh, my God.
04:24He's the new cooler.
04:26Right.
04:27Oh, he works at the Double Deuce on...
04:29Yeah, me just hired me.
04:31Yeah.
04:34It's funny, because I thought you'd be bigger.
04:37Imagine they've got, on this planet, they have this bar where all the toughest of those
04:41E.T.'s...
04:42Oh, yeah, like...
04:43Hang out.
04:43The cantina, right?
04:44And they brawl, but they're all those little...
04:47That's your movie, Roadhouse and the Cantina.
04:50Oh, my God.
04:52Right?
04:53Yeah.
04:53That's a tough bar to bounce.
04:56Time-wise, to place that call, to send a message out, to get to that home planet, how
05:02many years would that take?
05:03It would take three million years.
05:04Okay, I missed that part.
05:06If there are three million light years from Earth, then it would take three million years.
05:12It's going to be a while.
05:15You guys start dinner without me.
05:16It's going to be a while.
05:17It's going to be a while.
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