- il y a 11 heures
Watch Krapopolis, Season 3 Episode 7 on Dailymotion (2026).
Catégorie
📺
TVTranscription
00:00Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:30...betting on the mundane, everyday decisions of mortals, they're just the right amount of stupidly unpredictable.
00:35Wait, wait, it's not over.
00:37This is just... I just...
00:40I had storms out! Oh, this is fun!
00:43Damn! I had kills everybody.
00:45Oopsie, that's for the house.
00:47I had offers himself sexually.
00:49Ooh, tough break. That's more for the house. It really is good to be the house.
00:53All right, next up is Ted, who just found something, like, super weird in his salad.
01:00He's gonna eat it. He's gonna eat that thing.
01:03Ah, I've got this one.
01:04Um, haven't you already lost everything?
01:07Not everything.
01:10Do it!
01:11No, he's gonna eat it.
01:12Oh, baby, you know you like mortal.
01:14Eat it! Eat it!
01:14Just put it in your gumdum box. There you go.
01:17Yes! Yes, Ted! Yes!
01:20I had eats it, likes it, and...
01:23...digs around for more.
01:25Trafecta!
01:25I had goes to the other guy's place and offers himself sexually.
01:29The other guy from the other bed?
01:31Apollo, shut up.
01:32Oh, so sorry, schlub.
01:34Looks like I've totally cleaned you out. Again.
01:37No, no, no! Let me stay in.
01:39I'm happy to let you stay in.
01:41But what have you got to bet?
01:42What do I have to bet?
01:43One night, with me.
01:45I would have to compromise my morals, but that only makes it hotter.
01:49Schlub, you know you'd give me that for free.
01:51Wanna bet? If I lose, you get to sleep with me again.
01:54I'm not interested in something everyone in the world can have for nothing.
01:57I say walk away now, dude.
01:59You do not want to do something stupid like betting away your uncle's trident.
02:02He's going to be so mad at me.
02:04That's the one bad thing about gambling.
02:06It destroys families.
02:08We can bet family members stuff.
02:11Opa!
02:37Dad, what are you doing?
02:39Just having some fun doing a little rummaging.
02:41That's all.
02:42Hey, don't you have a bunch of highly valuable items you stole from Hades?
02:46Don't you have multiple treasure chests of your own?
02:48Not anymore.
02:49And there's no explanation for that, so don't even think about digging.
02:52Where's your crown?
02:53I lent it to a dying kid.
02:55It was his last wish.
02:57What's this thing?
02:58A truth-telling gem.
02:59Very rare.
03:00Ah, well, when you're not looking, I'm going to steal it from you to pay off my massive gambling debt.
03:06Damn it!
03:06You're gambling again!
03:08Yes, to relieve the stress of being king.
03:10It takes such a toll on you eating all those glitzy meats.
03:14You're not built for gambling.
03:16You have no impulse control.
03:17Ha, well, if you believe that, you've underestimated both the force and breadth of my impulses.
03:23Look, I'll prove it to you.
03:24Here's a piece of baklava.
03:25You can have two pieces of baklava if you...
03:29Well, I could have proved you wrong.
03:31Then I'd be playing your game and not mine.
03:34Dad, how much do you owe?
03:35Not much.
03:36In fact, this little gem should cover it.
03:38Also, I didn't give my crown to a dying kid.
03:41I lost it at the casino.
03:43That kid wasn't ill.
03:44He was just very drunk.
03:46Oh, double damn it!
03:47This tricked me again!
03:48Does Mom know?
03:49No, I can't let her see me in this state.
03:51Besides, if she can spend all day at the spa, why can't I spend it at the casino?
03:56Ugh, what a mess.
03:57All right, we're gonna fix this right now.
03:59Where's Ty when you need him?
04:00Rhetorical question.
04:01He's on a boat for some reason.
04:03What do you need all this rope for anyway?
04:05Today's the day I finally do it.
04:07Yes!
04:08You're getting into macrame!
04:09No, I'm finally setting sail on my maiden voyage.
04:12What is this, to impress Viserra or something?
04:15Impress Viserra.
04:16Come on.
04:17Hey, Ty.
04:18Oh, hey, Viserra.
04:19Just loading up here to go sailing, which is something I do.
04:22In my blood, really.
04:24Um, okay.
04:25Well, that's kind of weird.
04:26Wait, this doesn't have anything to do with the sex dream I told you about with the sailor.
04:30Sex trip?
04:31I sort of remember that, maybe?
04:34No, I planned this trip long before you told me about the sexy dream sailor.
04:38All right, whatever.
04:40Well, good luck.
04:41You know what?
04:42I'm realizing.
04:43I hope you don't die.
04:45Oh, so it's not about her, huh?
04:48Yes, it's about her.
04:49Of course it is.
04:50There are these flowers that only grow on the peak of Gavdos Island, and some say you're
04:53not a true seaman until you've picked one.
04:55And, I don't know, I just have this fantasy of pulling into port with one of those flowers
04:59and Viserra's waiting for me proudly.
05:01And you stopped listening after seaman, didn't you?
05:04Yeah.
05:05But, Ty, Gavdos is a really tough sail, and you are not a sailor.
05:10Sailing isn't just for sailors and criminals anymore.
05:12Children of wealth and privilege can do it, too.
05:14What, you don't think I can make it?
05:16No, I mean, I'm sure you could do anything.
05:18But this houseboat, uh, the railings are splintery.
05:21That rudder seems too, uh, ruddery.
05:24And look at the weak spot on the deck.
05:27Man, I love how strong I am.
05:29I know you don't think I can do it, but this is important to me, Stoop.
05:32Then why don't I come along?
05:33I don't need a babysitter.
05:34Not to babysit.
05:36It's not like I think you'll 100% definitely drown if I don't go with you.
05:41I just think you could use a first mate.
05:43Chicks love a captain who's got a first mate.
05:48Ew, now he has something weird in his chicken.
05:50Oh, it's a worm.
05:51I think it's a worm.
05:52Oh, he's going to eat that, too.
05:53You're betting on people?
05:54Of course you're betting on people.
05:56I've got a system, and if you would lend me your trinkets, I'll pay you back and then some.
06:00You're betting on everyone to have sex, aren't you?
06:02It's where everything is headed.
06:04Athena, clearly my dad has a problem.
06:06Don't you have a thing where if people get in huge enough trouble, you go,
06:09hey, maybe gambling's not for you.
06:12I want them in trouble.
06:13Do you not understand how this works?
06:15Yeah, sure, but at a certain point, shouldn't you be like,
06:18all right, this has gone too far, let's call it even.
06:21So you don't understand how this works.
06:23Just give him his crown back and we'll leave.
06:25Athena don't give back bets.
06:27When I ran out of money, she started taking fingers, then legs.
06:30I bet all 20 legs and lost them.
06:32Why didn't you stop at like nine?
06:34It's called having a winner's spirit.
06:37He wouldn't understand that.
06:38How much is a finger worth?
06:40What exactly does he owe you?
06:42We'll settle up and get out of here.
06:44Oh, we're settling up.
06:45Let me see.
06:45He lost his entire treasury, this braid.
06:48Ah!
06:48And, oh, right, your palace.
06:52Still want to settle up?
06:53Oh, you don't know who you're toying with.
06:55I'll play your silly games, Athena, and I'll win it all back.
06:58Fair and square.
06:59How fun.
07:00That's the spirit, son.
07:01I'll chip in.
07:02No, Dad, stop.
07:04I'll be the one gambling.
07:05On one condition.
07:06I choose who you bet on next.
07:07Click over to the docks.
07:09I'm not usually in the business of letting the players set the terms here,
07:12but I'll make an exception if it means I can bankrupt Deliria's whole family.
07:17That poor sap looks like my son.
07:19Dad, it is your son, and I think I know him well enough to get our money back.
07:23Let's find out.
07:24Damn, every time I think I'm out, they reel me back in.
07:29I'm betting my Uncle Poseidon's favorite dolphin do not ask me why it's his favorite.
07:37What do you think about these conditions?
07:39You don't think today might be a bad day to set off?
07:41Huh?
07:42In what way?
07:43Weather's not the best.
07:44Water looks especially wet today, and we're basically surrounded by sharks.
07:48They say the big one's the most aggressive.
07:50Oh, that dude ain't leaving the dock.
07:52No way.
07:53Well, of course he's not leaving the dock, but what's his final excuse going to be?
07:57My money's on bad knee.
07:59Guys are always talking about bad knees.
08:01Hippo, I've got a strong feeling about this.
08:03Whatever the excuse is, it will be genital related.
08:06Dad, I know Ty better than you.
08:08Let me concentrate.
08:10Even though he's really good at it, Ty hates failing.
08:13But Stoop is there, and that works for us, because Ty will want to appear strong.
08:17And sure, he'll probably die out in the water after saying something dumb like,
08:20upward, onward, and all aboard.
08:22But Ty needs to win, so...
08:25Ty's leaving that dock.
08:28Outward, onward, downward, sideward, and away we go.
08:32Do-do-do!
08:34Hmm, I was close.
08:35Give us a push, too.
08:36Aye-aye, Captain.
08:38All right.
08:39Gonna be a long night.
08:42We hit big when Ty didn't throw up, took a small loss on not stubbing his toe, but made
08:47it back on him not hitting a big wave while picking his nose, which shoves his finger
08:51into his brain.
08:52Would've paid huge!
08:53Let's put it all on agonizing shin splint he relieves the pain of with self-pleasure.
08:58Dad, no.
08:59We make small, realistic bets, play the probabilities, and manage the risk.
09:03That's how we chip away at this debt.
09:05Like, for example, he's gotta tie up that rudder.
09:07But that rope looks pretty gnarly, so I'm gonna play the odds on rope burn.
09:12Uh-oh!
09:12You've first got to invent something to protect hands.
09:14This can't go on.
09:16Bingo!
09:16And hand pants is brilliant.
09:18Note to self.
09:19Invent hand pants.
09:20You're pretty good at this, huh?
09:22Just simple odds.
09:23And betting without emotion.
09:24Sure.
09:25It's easy when the stakes are so low.
09:27Oh, there it is.
09:28Yeah, trying to suck me into a bigger bet is not gonna work.
09:31Sorry.
09:31I was trying to suck you into more fun, but whatever.
09:34I'm also not worried about being perceived as a stick in the mud.
09:37Oh, so you're just chicken.
09:39Nobody calls me a chicken!
09:41Ah, his old weakness, which he's always had.
09:44All in on Ty making it to that island.
09:47Hippo, you said realistic bets.
09:49Well, how about something like Ty eats falafel?
09:52Ty's committed to this, and when something is important to Ty, he'll move mountains to get it.
09:56I hope.
09:56Then I'll put something on Ty moves a mountain.
09:59Ty.
10:00Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold your horses.
10:02Sexually.
10:04Ah, it's nice to see fellow sailors.
10:07Makes you feel less alone out on the open seas.
10:09You have supplies in this houseboat, correct?
10:13Correct.
10:13Would any of those supplies happen to be a trained navy, aside from me?
10:17I've got a bottle opener that's shaped like a lobster.
10:19Okay, well, I'm going to stretch because that ship full of pirates is definitely going to try to kill us.
10:25Pirates?
10:26There's no pirates in that part of the sea.
10:28I know, right?
10:30Crazy.
10:31Hope your guy can get through this one.
10:33They won't kill him with Stoop there.
10:36Falling overboard while trying to stab a guy with his lobster bottle opener is tempting.
10:41Everyone, place your bets.
10:43Okay, okay.
10:44I'm going for gets kidnapped, makes friends with a parrot, everyone gets so annoyed hearing them talk to each other,
10:49they give him back.
10:54Excuse you?
10:55Oh, I dread it, Captain Blobbo here, to do the typical pirate stuff.
11:02Take your thing, sink your boat.
11:03This is Rome, you get it.
11:05Mr. Blobbo, Captain to Captain, this is my first time out in this boat, so could you possibly come back
11:09another time?
11:10This journey is really important to me.
11:12Gimme!
11:16My lobster!
11:19Thanks.
11:21I deserve that!
11:23Go and sail us out of here while I kick some bony pirate ass.
11:28Aw, man, she noticed.
11:36I bet those muscles sink!
11:43Hey, you guys like booty?
11:44That's kind of the whole thing, right?
11:46Booty?
11:47We love booty!
11:48Hey!
11:49We love that!
11:55Whoa.
11:56Ha-ha!
11:57Looks like you don't know him as well as you thought.
12:00You win some, you lose some.
12:01That's what makes gambling fun.
12:03You think the losing part is fun?
12:05Oh, like you've never got off from being punished.
12:07Yeah, the psychology of this addiction is nuts.
12:10But maybe if I lose enough of my uncle's stuff, he'll, like, you know, pay attention to me.
12:15Wait, isn't it weird that as soon as we locked in our bet for Ty to make it to the
12:19island, pirates showed up.
12:20Must be pirate season.
12:21That's not a thing.
12:22I think she's cheating.
12:24Yeah, of course she's cheating.
12:25But I wouldn't say anything if I were you.
12:27I once accused her of cheating, and this happened.
12:31What happened?
12:32Used to have a second head.
12:33The guy was a real jerk.
12:35But I loved him like a brother, who is also myself.
12:38Leave it to Athena to ruin the opportunity for a wholesome threesome.
12:42I don't like this.
12:42Ty got lucky with those pirates, but she'll kill him for that money.
12:46That sounds bad when you describe it that way.
12:48I'm describing it the way it is.
12:51Ah, yes, that's why it sounds so bad.
12:53But how do we beat a goddess?
12:55We know a goddess, too.
12:56No, we are not telling your mother.
12:58Why?
12:59Because she'd fly into a rage?
13:01Yes.
13:01Thank you, stranger.
13:03Deliria?
13:04Ah!
13:05But I thought you were at the spa.
13:07This place has a spa.
13:08Never been, but it's got one.
13:10Athena's always up to some little scheme, and I intend to bankrupt this one.
13:14Also, I'm a slut for roulette.
13:17You're not mad I've been hiding a debilitating gambling problem?
13:20Oh, schlub, please.
13:21It's adorable.
13:22Like when a baby tries a lemon for the first time, but keeps taking bites.
13:26Why didn't you help us out sooner?
13:28Because I was busy playing roulette in disguise.
13:30Quietly snapping up all of Athena's bracelets.
13:33But now it's time for Mama to take out her teat.
13:36I am so aroused, I can hardly...
13:41Ah, there it is, after all.
13:46Goddess Queen Deliria.
13:48I know you've been coming in secret for the past few months.
13:50I could smell your cheap perfume.
13:52Just had to see my dear friend's new gig.
13:55Bit of a downgrade from being the god of war.
13:58Anything can be a war, bitch.
14:00Then grab a white flag, because my children will make it to that island.
14:04No, Mom, you've got to fight Athena.
14:06Do magic.
14:07Emulate the concept of caring.
14:09Anything!
14:10But then I wouldn't be beating her at her own game.
14:14Deal me in.
14:16So, what to be your promise?
14:18No more pirating.
14:20I'm going to do a little bit of pirating.
14:22No.
14:23What about during pirate season?
14:25That's not a thing.
14:26It is a big thing.
14:27And make sure you thank this nice boat of vacationing bankers who have agreed to take you to the nearest
14:32port.
14:32I've got to admit, you're pretty good on the high seas.
14:35All it takes is motivation.
14:38Ty!
14:39Oh, no.
14:39I'm not saying anyone who doesn't make it on the high seas isn't motivated enough.
14:42I'm just...
14:43No!
14:43Ty!
14:44Look!
14:48A storm?
14:50Bummer.
14:51I kind of liked Ty.
14:53He had good taste in music.
14:54Not a bummer at all.
14:56Finally, some excitement.
14:57And he has terrible taste in music.
14:59Do you two not care that your children are about to die?
15:01Do you not care that your mother was about to die of boredom?
15:08This is real, Mom.
15:10If Athena keeps winning, she's going to get the city.
15:12And then, it's bye-bye, goddess queen.
15:16Steve, my silly little fantasy is going to get us both drowned.
15:20It could be worse.
15:21See?
15:25This boat is too strong for me.
15:28I'll place it over here near this island.
15:35We made it?
15:36What a turn of luck.
15:37Interesting.
15:38The kraken doesn't live in that part of the sea.
15:41Almost as interesting as a sudden storm in the middle of summer.
15:44And if you ever mess with my family again, you'll be found in a very interesting way.
15:49Goodbye.
15:51Finally.
15:52One final bet.
15:54Your son is heading up that mountain to pick some dumb flower.
15:56If he succeeds, I'll give you Athens.
15:59And if he fails, I'm goddess queen of Krapopolis.
16:02Double your cities.
16:04Nope.
16:04Nice try.
16:05But we're done here.
16:06You know what's better than a vacation home?
16:08A vacation city.
16:09What?
16:10No!
16:11Are you serious?
16:12We're in.
16:13You're really bad parents.
16:14Ty, you told me how important this is to you.
16:17And I'd be a bad sister if I let you stop now.
16:21But what if I can't do it?
16:22When you said you were going to sail today, I thought I was going to have to plan your funeral.
16:27But you proved me wrong.
16:28And as mad as being wrong makes me.
16:31It would make me even madder if you quit.
16:33And I hate getting madder.
16:35It makes me so much more mad.
16:37I don't know if you were pumping me up or threatening me, but it worked.
16:40Thanks, Duke.
16:41I'm dead in that flower.
16:42And shortly after, Viserys respect.
16:45Great!
16:45I'll just toss you up there.
16:46Thanks.
16:47What are you going to do?
16:48I don't know.
16:49I guess I could use a little break.
16:50Maybe chum the water, fight a shark.
16:52Fun.
16:53Now, when you said toss me up there, did you mean...
16:55Who was gonna do this?
16:57No!
17:00No!
17:01Ah!
17:05Ah!
17:06Ha!
17:07Damn it.
17:08What are we doing here, Mom?
17:19Bees!
17:19Aaaah! Aaaah!
17:24C'est bon, j'ai pensé.
17:26Une hive de bataflies.
17:49Aaaah!
17:54Okay.
17:59He's almost there.
18:00I can't wait to use your city as a junk drawer.
18:08Come on, tower.
18:09What's he gonna do?
18:10Give up!
18:11Wait, wait.
18:12She farted that.
18:21Huh?
18:26I know you gods are up to something,
18:29and I refuse to be part of it.
18:30The pirates, the kraken, that very helpful snake.
18:33The fart that turned out to be a little more than just a fart.
18:37I did this for my own reasons,
18:39and as such, I can also not do it for my own reasons.
18:42Good. Bye.
18:43Oh, what the hell?
18:45He didn't do it. I win.
18:47Oh, come on. He chose not to do it. We win.
18:51You all lose!
18:52Because we treated our own son as a puppet to make petty bets?
18:56No!
18:56Well, yes. That, too.
18:58But mostly because earlier I placed this bet.
19:01I bet that Ty would figure out that you all were messing with him,
19:04and do something pointless and crazy.
19:06Whoa. The odds on that one.
19:08Yep. I know, my brother. That's why I picked him in the first place.
19:11Athena, time to cash out.
19:12I'm only honoring this because I want Schlub to come back
19:14and destroy your lives again.
19:16Hmm. Fat chance, cheater.
19:18Did I mention high rollers get two free tickets to the buffet?
19:21There's lobster tail.
19:22Well, I'm in. After all, we're rich now.
19:25Did you just say we?
19:26Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
20:24Sous-titrage Société Radio 1
20:29Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
20:33Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
20:36Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
20:45Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
20:45Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
20:52Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
20:54Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
20:57Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
21:00Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
21:02Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
21:30Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
21:32Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada