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Watch Krapopolis, Season 3 Episode 13 on Dailymotion (2026).

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Transcription
00:05Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:30...to remember what you all look like when you're dead. Giuseppe?
00:34Thank you, Mother, for being so thoughtful.
00:36That's how you think I look? All hunched over, looking scared?
00:39I mean, you are usually pretty scared.
00:42All right, maybe, but statues aren't meant to be reality.
00:45They're supposed to show a more idealized version of...
00:47Giuseppe, fix Ty's posture.
00:49Well, if you're going back in, could you make my smile less goofy?
00:51Your smile is pretty goofy.
00:53Yeah. Have me laugh in a hippo's smile.
00:56No. She should be looking at me with respect and awe.
01:00They all should!
01:01Giuseppe, can you portray subservience?
01:03You don't get to say what I'm doing.
01:05Yes, only I get to do that.
01:07Obviously, Stupendous should have a severed head in her hand.
01:10I mean, sure, I hoist a head every once in a while,
01:13but there's more to me than that.
01:14Can you do me painting a painting?
01:17Have you ever painted a painting?
01:18I've been meaning to!
01:19Well, if she's painting a painting, give me some little subjects.
01:22Ooh!
01:23Strap me into some kind of flying machine.
01:25Maybe it projects a column of fire,
01:27and you could have me kind of riding that into the air above everybody else.
01:30I notice I'm depicted as not currently having sex.
01:35There. Everybody happy?
01:37Well, now it's simply too small.
01:39Giuseppe, you're fired.
01:40May I have my daughters back?
01:43I don't remember where I put them.
01:45I don't remember where I put them.
02:14It's inside your...
02:16What is that? What is that?
02:22It's Mom.
02:23How did you know that?
02:25The eyebrows!
02:29It's not funny.
02:30I'm sorry, son.
02:31I couldn't hear you over all the unanimous laughter.
02:34Say again?
02:35No, no. We've heard quite enough from him.
02:37I have something to share.
02:39Aw, tarp cake.
02:40You shouldn't have.
02:42It's not a cake.
02:42I still want that family portrait.
02:45Well, that doesn't look anything like us.
02:47It's not the portrait.
02:49It's a machine I got from a very powerful sorceress
02:52that will do what you were trying to get Giuseppe to do,
02:54but without having a psychotic break and running into the sea.
02:58I remembered where his kids were right afterwards,
03:00and they're fine.
03:02It's called a call-it-whatever-you-want-just-please-stop-zapping-me.
03:06Catchy.
03:07What went wrong with the statue was we couldn't get a version that made all of you happy.
03:12You were all too worried about how you looked.
03:14The call-it-whatever-you-want-just-please-stop-zapping-me creates a living portrait
03:18with which none of you can take issue because it scans you for how you see things.
03:23Your ideal world, you might say.
03:25It then uses that information to assemble a perfect, immersive, three-dimensional version of our family
03:30that I can visit whenever I like.
03:32Did you all get all that?
03:34Because I'm not repeating it.
03:36Wait, what flavor is the cake?
03:38It's not a cake, Stoop.
03:39It's a machine that reads how we want things to be.
03:42Have you tested it?
03:44Yeah, good question.
03:44Is it safe?
03:46This is tiresome.
03:47Here, see for yourselves.
03:49Hippo first.
03:50Hippo first!
03:51Ah!
04:19And that's how it works.
04:21What the hell was that?
04:22You guys saw it too?
04:23What was that?
04:24That was incredible!
04:25It was what it was.
04:26It's called a show because it shows how you want the world to be.
04:30Wait, you want to be king?
04:32This is how I learned you've been gunning for me this whole time?
04:35Technically, he'd be gunning for me, and I welcome it.
04:38Hold on, one thing at a time.
04:39Were we your slaves?
04:41No.
04:42I'm sure I felt chains.
04:44Yeah, I got a forced labor vibe for sure.
04:47You mean that wasn't a sex thing?
04:49I feel so violated!
04:51You're confused.
04:52Are we?
04:53Let's find out.
04:59What do you want me to tell you?
05:00I've got a rich in her life.
05:02These are godproof.
05:03Of course they're godproof.
05:05You said this is how I want things to be.
05:07You think I want to be defeatable by gods?
05:09No, clearly you want to be better than everyone else.
05:12Well, if the fishbowl fits.
05:15Oh, relax.
05:16It's a fantasy.
05:17It's harmless fun.
05:19Not to us it's not.
05:21Wait, am I crying?
05:23Is this how you see me?
05:24Hypersensitive and freaking out all the time?
05:26It's your strength.
05:27You're always on the lookout for trouble.
05:28Wait, what's this new feeling I'm feeling?
05:31Not horny?
05:37How dare you?
05:39That was outrageous.
05:40Yeah, sorry mom.
05:42We're not doing this.
05:42It's obviously going to create all sorts of bad feelings.
05:46Maybe even drive a wedge between us.
05:48Seriously?
05:49It's Ty, it's Ty, he's our guy.
05:52One, two, he's our song.
05:54It's true, it's true, for me and you.
05:57There's never been a better, more charismatic leader.
06:00He'll always be in power, never cries and succeeds either.
06:05Ty.
06:06Now this show I like.
06:07We'll be right back.
06:11And we're back.
06:13Ty.
06:14You'll note that my ideal world is all about freedom and individuality.
06:18Bravo!
06:19That's what he did.
06:20I love you, Dad!
06:21King Ty, we just had our daily election and you won again.
06:25What?
06:26They keep choosing me.
06:27We just love you too darn much.
06:30I love you too, son.
06:31How can I not?
06:33I appreciate it, mother.
06:35No, I mean it.
06:36How can I not?
06:37You can.
06:37Obviously, in his perfect world, everybody has to love him.
06:40Because he needs constant validation.
06:43And I can't stop admiring him for it.
06:45Darling, don't let it upset you.
06:47Let's go and talk.
06:48I promise not to try anything.
06:51Wait, not to try anything?
06:53King Ty, the Every Nation Army is at the gate.
06:57The what did he just say it was?
06:58We are at war with every nation in the world.
07:02Don't worry.
07:03I am built for moments like this.
07:09Actually, they came to say that war is over?
07:12All war?
07:13There's nothing but peace and prosperity now, all thanks to King Ty.
07:17Ah, okay.
07:18There you go.
07:19All hail King Ty!
07:21All hail King Ty!
07:22Yes, you solved the war with your empathy and sensitivity to the needs of others.
07:27Some people may have thought those were weaknesses,
07:29but now it's been made clear that they're the very things we should most admire.
07:34Thank you, Scott.
07:35It's not about crying.
07:36It's true.
07:37He's always on the lookout for trouble, but not in a scared way.
07:40In a strong, hot way.
07:42So, you see, Stu, not everything has to be about war,
07:45in case you're feeling bad about your whole thing kind of disappearing.
07:47I'm not only about war.
07:49That's how you see me?
07:51Oh, I'm sure you are.
07:52I'm not!
07:53You know, I've been doing a lot of farming.
07:57Oh, that's it.
07:59Where is it?
08:00Where is that thing?
08:01Stupendous, calm down.
08:02You can't just...
08:06She's stronger than you think.
08:07She's big and tall.
08:09But that's not all.
08:10She's stupendous.
08:12And there's a whole lot more to her.
08:15Mmm, perfectly brewed.
08:17That's right.
08:18I enjoy tea once in a while.
08:19Does anyone find that surprising?
08:22I don't, because I've always known there was more to you.
08:25I have?
08:26Same here.
08:27All my scientific curiosity is now focused on learning more about you, Stoop.
08:31What are your hopes and dreams?
08:32Thanks for asking.
08:33In addition to warring, I also enjoy long walks in nature,
08:37and I've been studying colored dairy.
08:39I think we should have a trip together that I don't ruin.
08:43Darling, when you get home, perhaps we could talk and not have sex.
08:47Does no one in my family want their father's sexuality on display?
08:52But first, Stoopendous, please tell me how those flute lessons are coming along.
08:56Very well, thank you.
09:03That's beautiful, darling.
09:05And I don't tell you I love you enough.
09:07I'm feeling attacked.
09:09Queen Stoopendous, I have horrible news.
09:11That can wait.
09:12First of all, how are you, Scott?
09:14I'm good, thank you.
09:15And how's your mom doing?
09:17Good days and bad, you know.
09:18Please give her my love.
09:20Scott has a mom?
09:21I seem Scott just was.
09:23Yes, Scott has a mom.
09:25And in my world, people get to know one another.
09:27Now, Scott, what news do you have?
09:29I'm afraid the army of every nation has breached the gate and is storming the city.
09:34Of course they are.
09:35But not a problem for me,
09:37because war is one of the things I enjoy doing.
09:40So if you'll excuse me, as I like to say before fighting,
09:44it's a good day to die.
09:48Dude, please win this war quickly
09:50so we can get back to learning your many facets.
09:52Did you guys know I'm left-handed?
09:54But I learned to fight righty!
09:56I never noticed that.
09:57Here's something else about me.
09:59Sometimes I get scared in a fight.
10:01I would never have guessed that.
10:03Then I remember the most glorious thing I could do is die in battle.
10:06So in my ideal world, I'm finally going to get to do that.
10:09Wait, what?
10:10Dying is like the whole thing in war.
10:13It's kind of the point.
10:14That's why I'm in the biz.
10:15But you're not going to actually...
10:16You made me sit through your fantasies.
10:19Now sit through mine.
10:20I'm not going to make it easy for you.
10:21You're not going to actually kill me.
10:25Mom, this isn't one of those situations where if you die here,
10:28you die in real life too.
10:29It isn't.
10:30No, I'm asking.
10:31Ah, I see.
10:32Then yes, that's exactly the kind of situation it is.
10:35Die in here, die out there.
10:36Why do you ask?
10:37Dupendous, sir, shut it down.
10:39Not until I complete my destiny.
10:42Can anybody reach the thing?
10:44Mom, do something.
10:45Zap, zap.
10:46Not a single one of you wants me to be infinitely more powerful than you.
10:53Mine, mine.
10:54I want to go.
10:55Dad, no.
10:58Shlup, shlup, shlup, shlup, shlup.
11:00He's your friend to the very end
11:03And he sleeps with his friends, so be ready for that.
11:06He is a manageable monster with a heart of gold.
11:08You're welcome in his bedroom if you're young or old.
11:11His thirst cannot be quenched.
11:13And his carnal craving never ends.
11:16He's a monster malformation, that's your new best friend.
11:19Shlup.
11:21Darling, shall we not talk and get straight to sex?
11:24That would be my preference.
11:26Wait, in your world, do I have...
11:29All the power you need.
11:31Why don't you destroy me next?
11:33Ugh, I'm gonna throw up.
11:35Wait, Dad, why wouldn't you make me not get sick
11:38when you get horny in front of us?
11:40Hmm, guess it's part of the allure.
11:43Ugh.
11:44Ha ha, yes, I do enjoy that.
11:47You know, I don't think I've changed either.
11:49Has anyone?
11:50Dad, in your ideal world, are we all just how we are?
11:53Oh, that's actually surprisingly sweet.
11:56Well, I'm off.
11:57As you know, I have a fulfilling life somewhere else.
12:00Where?
12:00I don't know.
12:01I just know I'm not around.
12:03Me neither.
12:03I'm going somewhere that I go to and live.
12:06Yeah, I should get to my not here.
12:09Dad, in your perfect world, we're just not here?
12:13You're free to visit.
12:14Shut it down.
12:15I want another go.
12:16Damn it!
12:17Oh, come on!
12:22Not this place again.
12:25It's dying time.
12:27Like hell it is.
12:30I'm not your freaking pet.
12:31Yes, you are.
12:32C'est parti !
13:02C'est parti !
13:33Why the hell would you intentionally trap us in here ?
13:37Because the bickering was starting to sound like the bickering I have to listen to all day out there.
13:42So, your solution is to imprison all of us in a fake world forever.
13:46Yes. What is so hard to understand about that ?
13:48The part where you're so sure that you're gonna like it. You lock yourself in. Can you even get that
13:53thing back off your face ?
13:54It kind of looked like you couldn't. And we're still bickering !
13:58It's possible I acted without thinking.
14:11Hippo, what happens to our bodies if we can't get out of here ?
14:14Science.
14:15What ?
14:16Science. Stuff. In scientific terms, the science of science is scientific. Gah !
14:23I can't think of any word but science !
14:26In your show, I'm not actually smart. I just say science a lot.
14:29Is there more to it ?
14:33Cheese !
14:34What ?
14:35I'm answering your question, what happens to us if we can't get out of here ?
14:38Cheese !
14:39Or meat !
14:40What ?
14:41That's what's gonna happen.
14:42Same thing that happens if you leave cheese or meat out in the sun.
14:45What ?
14:46Why do I keep saying what ?
14:48Is that how you think I respond to everything ?
14:50I'd say half the time that, half the time hunching over, looking scared and crying.
14:54What ?
14:55Damn it !
14:56Cheese turned us all into caricatures of ourselves.
14:58It's genuinely how you seem to me.
15:01I feel fully myself.
15:03Ready for sex on demand.
15:06Only on demand !
15:08War !
15:10Smash !
15:13Okay, I mean, we've all probably done her a disservice today, but...
15:16What ?
15:16Hippo, is there no way we can get the things out of our noses from in here ?
15:20Mom could try zapping the machine, maybe.
15:23Kind of break it, overcharge it ?
15:25That would free us.
15:26Maybe. Or kill us.
15:28Well, that would defeat the purpose.
15:29So, we're just going to spoil and rot like cheese or meat ?
15:32We just have to hope somebody out there freezes.
15:34But it would have to be somebody brilliant or powerful enough to undo god magic.
15:39Boy, this does not want to come off !
15:42Hippo, anything ?
15:44I'm working with nothing but buzzwords here.
15:46Science, vector, mechanics.
15:48Wait, that's it !
15:50What if I just science the vector mechanics ?
15:54Nope !
15:54I got nothing.
15:55Is this really so terrible ?
15:57In here, you live forever !
15:59With me !
16:00Isn't that a good thing ?
16:01Mom, we're gonna die !
16:03Not in here !
16:04If you die in here, you die out there !
16:05But if you die out there, you don't die in here !
16:08We'll be fine !
16:09We don't want to die anywhere !
16:11Well, how was I supposed to know that ?
16:13You mortals do an awful lot of it for something you don't want to do !
16:16Why don't you just admit that you're upset about that ?
16:18That we'll die !
16:19I don't get upset !
16:21Not about silly things like that !
16:23I mean, sure, maybe it bothers me a little !
16:26The thought that if the people you love can just die for no reason, even a goddess can comprehend,
16:31Then love can't be trusted, and I don't want to think about it !
16:36It scares me !
16:38And I don't do fear !
16:40It's stupid !
16:41And I hate it !
16:42In here, we're safe !
16:44Together !
16:44Forever !
16:46Because...
16:47I don't want to lose you !
16:50Oh, I hate seeing myself like this !
16:53Wait, you hate seeing yourself like this ?
16:55Aren't these shows supposed to show us how you want to be seen ?
16:59I thought it was how we want things to be ?
17:01Yeah, ideal world !
17:02Either way, why in Mom's ideal world is she acting a way she doesn't want to act ?
17:07Well, none of you have stopped complaining for even an instant !
17:10That might have something to do with it !
17:12Why haven't you stopped complaining for even an instant ?
17:15I obviously don't want that !
17:16I guess they're just going to have to figure out a way to get out on their own somehow !
17:20Wait, I got an idea !
17:23You can't die, King Tai, because...
17:26I love you !
17:32Well, I let that cat out of the bag for no damn reason !
17:35I'll start digging five graves !
17:38Mum, what exactly did the sorcerer say ?
17:41Did she say, ideal world ?
17:42Something like that, yes !
17:44Then why ?
17:44How are we not conjoined ?
17:46What ?
17:47She was screaming and begging !
17:49It was impossible to get a straight answer out of her !
17:51This is good !
17:52It means, um, okay, either you do want us to complain !
17:56Well, that's not it !
17:57Unless you want it unconsciously !
17:59How would you want something unconsciously ?
18:02What would that look like ?
18:04Or, none of this has been how we want things to be !
18:06Maybe it's more like our perception of ourselves or something !
18:09What we think we're like !
18:11But we're wrong !
18:13It makes sense !
18:13Stupe doesn't want to die !
18:15Hippo doesn't want to enslave us !
18:17I'm not obsessed with what people think of me !
18:20All right, all right, you're not helping, you know !
18:22I actually think you might be on to something here !
18:25Oh, wow !
18:26Thank you so much !
18:27If mum does try to zap the machine, overload it, and while she does, we all really concentrate !
18:32Not on what we want things to be like, or how we want to look, or how we want other
18:36people to treat us !
18:37But on each other !
18:38In a positive way !
18:39What we love about each other !
18:41It might just generate a feedback loop that will bring us all close enough to actual reality that we'll all
18:46just wake up !
18:47You think that'll actually work ?
18:49I don't know, my science is at like, half-capped, tops !
18:52I mean, I'm calling it my science !
18:54But, worth a try !
18:55Better than cheese and meat !
18:57Better than cheese and meat !
18:58You ready, mum ?
18:59You said that might kill you !
19:01Well, that's life, darling !
19:05All right, then.
19:06Ready ?
19:08Um, what is she doing ?
19:10Oh, boy !
19:12I love life !
19:20Power world, before me !
19:22And my family !
19:25Get in there, and never get back out !
19:28And I mean that not sexually !
19:36Good for them !
19:45I think we did it !
19:47They're back !
19:50Mom, how's it feel to be back in the terrifying world where someday we'll all die ?
19:55No, you'll all die !
19:56I won't die !
19:57That's what I meant !
19:58Oh, it's whatever !
19:59God, you're all so annoying !
20:01Aw, she does care !
20:03Could we at least get a family painting while you're alive ?
20:06Of course !
20:06Let's get one right now !
20:08Yes, but your mother and I need three minutes to, um, get ready and, uh, NOT have sex !
20:16Just go have sex already, you pervert !
20:19Do you mean it ?
20:20You've earned it !
20:25Did someone kiss me while I was lying here ?
20:27What ?
20:28What are you, the kiss detective ?
20:30Excuse me, I gotta go fill some graves !
20:41Ha ha !
20:47Hey, wait !
20:47When the going gets rough ?
20:49When the rough gets tough ?
20:51When the tough stuff gets rough ?
20:53Stuff's the name of the ?
20:54Fight Team !
20:57The Off Team, Scott Team, Fight Team, together they're ?
21:01Fight Team !
21:03Fight, Fight, Fight !
21:34Bento

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