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Watch Krapopolis, Season 3 Episode 5 on Dailymotion (2026).
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00:03Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:30Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:00Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:02Sound like a couple of jerks to me.
01:04I love a good circle, especially when it involves jerks.
01:08Never-ending social obligations, countless decisions.
01:12No, no, I do not miss being in charge of a city.
01:15So much more rewarding being in charge of my own life.
01:18As a matter of fact, there's a fisherwoman who's been docking her boat next to mine,
01:23and today I'm going to ask her out.
01:26Sounds like a real catch.
01:29Who's next? A sexy eel?
01:32Please. My burn was way better because it's wordplay.
01:35No, mine was because it makes you think of an eel in a sexy dress.
01:40Say whatever you want, but she's beautiful, capable,
01:43and she will be mine when she sees how independent and mature I am.
01:47Here you go, Ty. Fluffed, folded, and spitz with sage.
01:51Ah-ha-ha-ha.
01:53Nothing.
01:53Nope. Can't waste any energy on burning you.
01:56I'm trying to stare this little guy down.
01:58No way I'm breaking eye contact first.
02:00Not everything is a competition, stoop.
02:02That's what a guy who loses competitions would say.
02:05That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
02:06I've heard way stupider.
02:38Presenting King Cadillus and Queen Nanini of the city of Dilpholus.
02:42Nah, bring it in. I'm a humper.
02:44Ha! I like your style.
02:46It would seem I've made a new friend.
02:48This flawless specimen is my wife, Deliria.
02:51You can leave your sandals on.
02:53We don't do the hippie barefoot nonsense.
02:55Oh, bear? Where?
02:57Ugh, there's no bear, dear.
02:59I'm sorry. Did you hear the word barefoot
03:02and assume I was alerting you to the presence of a bear?
03:05I like presents.
03:07Deliria, my new friend Cadillus and I need to discuss king business.
03:11Would you mind giving Queen Nanini a tour?
03:13Oh, I've never owned a tour.
03:16Fine, I do have one minor chore to do, but you can tag along.
03:20Ugh. Now the men can be men.
03:24Ha-ha. Ha-ha!
03:26Oh, yeah. Is this the chore?
03:29Yes, it was already scheduled,
03:31and you wouldn't believe the amount of tuna it takes to rebook these guys.
03:34Here, have an olive or something while you eat.
03:37Oh, my. You're a goddess?
03:39Of course. You haven't heard of me?
03:41I don't think so.
03:42Surely the god or goddess of your city must know me?
03:45Mm. We don't have a god.
03:49You don't have a god?
03:51Never saw the need.
03:52Every city needs a god.
03:54Sparta has Ares.
03:55Thebes has Dionysus.
03:57Those poor fools in Athens have Athena.
03:59You simply must have a god.
04:01Well, we've got everything we need.
04:03People and animals and plants and dirt.
04:06Dirt.
04:07Oh, lots of dirt.
04:09We keep it on the ground.
04:10Oh, my dear friend Nanini.
04:13The things I could do with your dirt.
04:15You came to the right palace.
04:16You know I'm actually a goddess queen.
04:19Couple eyes and gills,
04:21and you look good enough to eat.
04:22Oh, she's here.
04:27Got a real fighter here.
04:29Must know he's up against one of the best fishermen in Kropopolis.
04:32Huh?
04:32Got him.
04:33You fish, right?
04:34Sure, sometimes.
04:36Me too.
04:36Sometimes, if I'm bored.
04:38Not like I'm obsessed or anything.
04:40Right.
04:41One day we should do it together.
04:42Fishing, I mean.
04:44Plenty of fish in the sea.
04:45I sure hope so.
04:47I wonder what that meant.
04:48She's not interested.
04:50Viserra, what are you doing here?
04:52Watching you fail.
04:53You're never failing when you're sailing.
04:55That's a thing us boat people say.
04:57Listen, I need your help with the city.
04:58Your dad refuses to engage in anything unrelated to eating or drinking.
05:03Sorry, Viserra.
05:04I'm out of the city game.
05:05I'm a carefree bachelor now.
05:07Yeah, woman-free too.
05:08I'll make you a deal.
05:09You give me advice on dealing with your dad,
05:11and I'll help you with your love life.
05:12If you're going to suggest I wear a deeper V-deck,
05:14I already tried it, and it didn't work.
05:17And so there I was,
05:18pretending to be in the middle of telling a story
05:20and having just reached the punchline.
05:22You're kidding.
05:24Then I said something else,
05:25referring to the story I didn't even tell.
05:28And it had all been a way for me to cover up a quickly building
05:32an apparently one-sided sense of extreme dislike.
05:35Wow.
05:36You know, I expected this to be a typical king-to-king intro.
05:39Nice kingdom, nice crown.
05:41Here's a drink.
05:42I swear I didn't poison,
05:43but you are a riot.
05:45I just want to follow you around all day.
05:48Ah, well.
05:48Schlub, I have sort of a society,
05:52one that I like to keep secret.
05:53We like to call it a clandestine organization
05:56whose activities, events, and membership
05:58are concealed from non-members.
06:00There must be a quicker way to say that.
06:01No, not really.
06:03Anyway, you'd love it.
06:04It's just a noble group of kings
06:06who get cross-eyed drunk
06:07and talk crap about our wives.
06:08I'd love for you to join.
06:10Um, I must say I'm honored,
06:12but anyone who needs a special group,
06:14place, or reason to get hammered
06:16is missing the whole point.
06:17I must refuse.
06:19Darn.
06:20Well, I had to shoot my shot, huh?
06:21Same.
06:22Often four or five times a day.
06:25Oh, I wish you could stay, Nanini.
06:29But a queen's work is never done.
06:31But somehow we will make it fun.
06:35Ugh, all right.
06:37Anyway, Schlub, if you change your mind,
06:38we call ourselves the Society of Swords.
06:42Bye, Nanini.
06:43Was she talking to you?
06:45Why would you have to buy me?
06:46We're already married.
06:48What was he talking about, Society of Swords?
06:51He wants me to join his stupid men's group, but...
06:54Oh, Schlub, you absolutely must.
06:56Oh?
06:57I need to get in tight with Nanini.
06:59Their city doesn't have a god,
07:00and her incredible stupidity
07:02will make it easy for me to snatch up the row.
07:04You join his boys' club
07:06while I become goddess of her city.
07:08I don't know.
07:09He's a bit awful.
07:11Pretend you like him.
07:12Women do it all the time.
07:13If you do,
07:14I might turn into an anteater
07:16and do that tongue thing you love.
07:18No need to bribe me with sex, my love.
07:20If it's important to you,
07:21I'll join his club
07:22and teach them all how to really drink.
07:24Oh, thank you, dear.
07:26You know,
07:26I was going to be the thirsty anteater regardless.
07:30I'll get the honey and fruit juice.
07:31Remember, lime juice stings.
07:44King Schlub!
07:45I brought my homebrew, Schlub Steel.
07:48It's similar to Schlub Light,
07:49but less taste.
07:50More liquor.
07:51So glad you came alone.
07:53My wife insisted.
07:54She's spending time with yours, in fact.
07:56Well, those two bags of gas
07:58can keep each other occupied.
08:00Free us up to do our thing.
08:02Like drink.
08:03Yeah.
08:03And complain about our wives.
08:05Of course.
08:06And I know the answer to this,
08:07but just to be clear,
08:08you just out and out despise all women.
08:11Is that the general vibe?
08:12No, I wouldn't say I despise women.
08:15We just appreciate men.
08:17Ah, dirty and fun.
08:19I like it.
08:20What?
08:20No.
08:21No.
08:21We're only attracted to women.
08:23Uh, yet you shun them from your club.
08:25We like them for certain very specific things,
08:28you know what I mean?
08:29Ah, yes, I see.
08:31Clumsy me.
08:32Let me fly home and get you another.
08:38Oh, what is that?
08:40You don't know what birds are.
08:42Never seen one.
08:43Oh, deliria?
08:44I transform into animals.
08:47Oh, is that a bird too?
08:50Chirp, chirp.
08:51Yes, well, I stopped by
08:53to talk about your whole
08:54not having a goddess thing.
08:56Well, is it good to have a goddess?
08:58Well, I'm happy to give you a demonstration
09:00if you'd show me around.
09:01Oh, I don't know if I can.
09:04Yes, I can.
09:06That's a round.
09:07That's a yellow.
09:09Deliria!
09:09Oh!
09:10Hello, Nanini.
09:11Deliria.
09:12Quick chat in the clouds.
09:14He's a pig.
09:15In fact, he's worse than a pig.
09:16He's like scallops if they taste it bad.
09:18I can't do it, Deliria.
09:20You must keep trying.
09:22I need more time with Nanini.
09:24I thought she was an idiot,
09:25but now I'm wondering
09:27if there's more to it.
09:29To get in with those scallop men,
09:30I'd have to tarnish your good name
09:31and not in the fun
09:33you've been a bad girl type way.
09:35Oh, you have been a bad girl.
09:37Oh, why did I think that would work?
09:39Schlapp, if you can't even pretend
09:41to be cross with me,
09:41I'm going to have to meddle with your mind.
09:43Oh, with magic?
09:45I'm going to make you think
09:46I did something last summer
09:47that you absolutely hated.
09:48Hated?
09:49Well, that's hard to imagine.
09:53I cannot believe what you did last summer.
09:57Perfect.
09:58Sorry again for earlier.
10:00Now it seems so silly
10:01pretending to be a fisherman
10:02when all I really needed to do
10:04was be my...
10:05Rich!
10:05I was going to say...
10:06I was going to say myself, but...
10:08Uh, yeah.
10:08Rich.
10:09I'm the one who should be apologizing,
10:11by the way.
10:11I thought you were a weird,
10:12pathetic loser
10:13when really you're
10:15an endearing, eccentric, rich guy.
10:17Oh, we should do a makeover.
10:19The Persians are doing crazy things
10:21with armbands.
10:22Are your ears pierced?
10:23Uh...
10:24Why don't you think about it
10:25while I grab another bottle of wine,
10:28Prince Thai?
10:29I love it.
10:31So my advice worked.
10:33Viserra!
10:33All you got to do is be honest.
10:35Cannibals always tell it straight.
10:36Our food appreciates it.
10:37Your advice worked too.
10:39Do what's best for the city
10:40behind my dad's back
10:40and tell him he made the decision
10:42while blacked out.
10:42Hasn't failed yet,
10:43especially because he's off
10:44getting wasted.
10:45Oh, gotta go.
10:46My date's here.
10:47Date?
10:47Oh, who's lucky?
10:49You're on a date with Scott?
10:51It's a platonic, strategic date.
10:53I need him on my side
10:54in the palace.
10:54Uh, hey, Thai.
10:56And hello, Viserra.
10:57You look lovely.
10:58I brought you two lizards,
11:00but I think one of them
11:01might be a snake.
11:03Oh, Scott.
11:04I eat humans.
11:05That doesn't mean
11:06I eat everything.
11:07Oh, I'm sorry.
11:09No, I mean I'll eat them.
11:10I'm just saying.
11:11This is a great spot
11:13for my temple.
11:14Bit small.
11:15But if you can't build out,
11:16build up.
11:17I don't understand.
11:19We have to build up?
11:20I thought we already had up.
11:22You can't be this dumb.
11:24What?
11:25Oh, it's obviously an act.
11:26But what I keep going back
11:27and forth about is why.
11:29I can't figure it out.
11:30What do you get out of it?
11:32What do I doubt it?
11:34Oh, whatever.
11:35Look, your city needs a goddess
11:37and I need the adoration
11:39of terrified mortals.
11:41Now, I am quite busy,
11:42but I'd be willing to lord
11:43over your city
11:44in exchange for
11:45complete devotion,
11:46a statue,
11:46and renaming the city
11:48to Liridonia.
11:48That's the first draft.
11:49We can discuss.
11:50Oh, but how can a god
11:52possibly help?
11:53Oh, seriously?
11:55Aye, aye, aye!
11:56Another broken wheel!
11:58Queen Nanini,
11:59you must do something
12:00about these nameless holes
12:01in the road.
12:02They're so big,
12:03you could fit
12:03an entire pot in them.
12:05Oh, dear.
12:06If only there were
12:06an all-powerful goddess around.
12:08Oh, look,
12:09there happens to be
12:09one right here.
12:11Whoa!
12:12Thank you.
12:13No further complaints
12:14or questions.
12:15He might not have
12:16any complaints,
12:16but I do.
12:17This goat here
12:18keeps seducing me.
12:20I'm hungry.
12:21Holy crap, I can't talk.
12:23Oh, gross.
12:24I'm free!
12:25Well?
12:26Oh, you're thirsty?
12:27Yeah, we got one of those.
12:30I can make my nightly rounds
12:32while still staring you down.
12:35I've been inventing
12:36this whole time.
12:37Hand catapult!
12:39Oh!
12:40Well, I'm gonna lead my trips
12:41while still staring
12:42at your fishy little face.
12:44If any one of you guys
12:45is slacking off,
12:46get back to work!
12:49Oh, it enraged me.
12:51How could my wife
12:52do something like that?
12:53Go on, schlub.
12:54You're safe here.
12:55you can tell us
12:56what she did.
12:57You know, it's funny.
12:58When I try to recall
12:59the specifics,
13:00I'm too overwhelmed
13:01with self-righteous indignation.
13:03No, I'm mad!
13:05Yes, I hear ya.
13:06My wife couldn't cook
13:07a decent meal
13:08to save her life.
13:10And, well, she didn't.
13:12Sometimes I have
13:13deep regrets
13:14for what I did.
13:15I never knew
13:16how much I needed
13:17the company
13:17of disgruntled men
13:19misplacing their regression.
13:20That's what we do best!
13:23I got the best bottles
13:25they had
13:25and put it on your tab.
13:27What are you staring at?
13:28Me?
13:29No one.
13:29Nothing.
13:30Lost in thought.
13:31Hey, you trying
13:32to steal my rich guy?
13:33Keep your eyes
13:33where I can see him.
13:34Lady, if I wanted
13:35your rich guy,
13:36it would be on a platter
13:37with sautéed garlic
13:37and garbanzo beans.
13:39And you?
13:40You we'd feed
13:41to the livestock.
13:42All right.
13:43Misunderstanding.
13:44Don't mind us.
13:44Have fun.
13:45Wow.
13:46She's aggressive.
13:47Oh, yeah.
13:48And capable.
13:49And smart.
13:49Aw, sounds like
13:51you really like her.
13:52But you're with me
13:53right now, remember?
13:54Oh, yes.
13:55Right.
13:55Sorry.
13:56Now, I want to know
13:57more about you.
13:58Tell me about yourself.
14:00Really?
14:00All right.
14:01What's the most
14:01expensive thing
14:02you ever bought?
14:04Kill it!
14:05Kill it!
14:05Kill it!
14:15King Schlump,
14:16you stand
14:17on the sacred grounds
14:18of the Society of Swords.
14:21Oh, I get it now.
14:22The swords represent
14:23our manly parts.
14:24No.
14:25Yes.
14:25Let me finish, please.
14:27Do you swear
14:28to put your fellow kings
14:29above all else?
14:30Or, in other words,
14:32hoes are secondary
14:33in importance
14:34to the bros?
14:35Hoes are secondary
14:37in importance
14:38to the bros!
14:39Uh, yes.
14:41Yes, I do.
14:41Do you swear
14:42to be the man
14:43of the house
14:43dictating
14:44what the women
14:44in your life
14:45can and can't do?
14:46Uh, sure.
14:48Yeah, yes, yes.
14:49Do you swear
14:50never, ever
14:51to pleasure
14:52your wife
14:52without same-session
14:54reciprocation?
14:56Not even
14:57in the morning.
14:59Can I pleasure
15:00anyone else?
15:01Swear it, Schlump!
15:06What is wrong
15:07with you people?
15:08I don't swear
15:08any of that garbage.
15:10Excuse me?
15:11My wife Delirio
15:12has given me everything.
15:13Unconditional love,
15:14a family,
15:15a special kind
15:16of gonorrhea
15:17that just makes me
15:18healthier and more confident.
15:19I would never be a part
15:20of your ridiculous club.
15:22And I'm taking this back.
15:24No!
15:26If Delirio
15:27is as uppity as you,
15:28I forbid her
15:28from spending time
15:29with my wife.
15:30My wife will do
15:31whatever she damn
15:32well pleases.
15:33Goodbye.
15:34Or should I say,
15:35terrible bye.
15:36Put limits
15:36on pleasuring my wife.
15:38Absolute madness.
15:39Who are you people?
15:42They love the wine fountain.
15:44They love the pita benches.
15:46They love me.
15:48So make me
15:49the official goddess,
15:50build me a temple,
15:51and I'll leave.
15:52Whoa.
15:53You can turn
15:54into leaves, too?
15:56That doesn't
15:57even make sense.
15:58Will you drop
15:59this dumb queen bit?
16:03Have you given more thought
16:05about me as your city's
16:06Delirio?
16:07What are you doing here?
16:08Me?
16:08What on earth,
16:09literally,
16:10are you doing here?
16:14Party guard here
16:15for his new city!
16:17You two get out of here.
16:19I've been working
16:19on this city for weeks.
16:21I'm back!
16:26I see what you're up to.
16:28Playing dumb
16:29to get sympathy
16:30so us gods
16:31will bend over
16:31backwards for you.
16:33But wouldn't that
16:33hurt your back?
16:35Ugh, this bitch.
16:36I stumbled on this city
16:38a while back
16:38and put rims
16:39on all her margarita glasses.
16:40She told me
16:41to keep coming back
16:42and maybe one day
16:43I could be
16:44the official god.
16:45Hi, Delirio.
16:46I'm not leaving
16:47without this city.
16:48I made your horses faster.
16:50I gave everyone
16:51a cool haircut.
16:52I see you.
16:53I just have salt,
16:55but I got a lot of it.
16:56Please,
16:57we must be civil,
16:58so I'll just kill you all
17:00and take the city
17:00for myself.
17:01This is ridiculous!
17:04Hey,
17:05I didn't say start yet!
17:10Salt hands!
17:12Ouch!
17:12That stings!
17:13Sorry!
17:14Sorry, hi!
17:15By the way,
17:16I said hi earlier
17:17and you didn't say it back.
17:19Oh, yes!
17:21This screams Prince.
17:23Can't wait to see it!
17:25And I won't.
17:26Excuse me.
17:27Gotta find a shiny piece of metal.
17:35Scott ate a snake.
17:36How's your date going?
17:37It's a nightmare.
17:38Yeah,
17:39I'm realising
17:39maybe I don't want Scott
17:40on my side.
17:41Where can I find
17:42someone like you?
17:43Someone who doesn't care
17:44about silly things.
17:45Someone driven,
17:46smart,
17:46beautiful,
17:47amazing.
17:48And this is all
17:49like me,
17:49you said.
17:50Like you doesn't mean
17:51I'm describing you.
17:52Just a sort of
17:52similar,
17:53general vibe.
17:55Oh, I see.
17:56So not like me,
17:57but similar.
17:59Right.
17:59You get it.
18:00Not you,
18:00but close.
18:02To you.
18:06Got most of him.
18:08Oh, no,
18:09darn,
18:09that's just a stick.
18:10You think I'm
18:10eating too many sticks?
18:12Ty,
18:12got us a ride.
18:13Hop on.
18:14Great.
18:15My preferred method
18:15of transportation.
18:17Enjoy your night,
18:18but not too much.
18:19See you, Ty.
18:23You can pay
18:24these guys,
18:24right?
18:25Because I can't.
18:26And I won't.
18:34You're not
18:35going to fight
18:35for my city?
18:36I didn't come here
18:37to fight.
18:38I came for
18:38low-hanging fruit.
18:40Oh, I like
18:40watermelon too.
18:42Enough.
18:42What are you doing?
18:43Are you dumb?
18:44What is your thing?
18:46I have lots and lots
18:48and lots of things.
18:49Hairbrushes,
18:50sandals,
18:51sun,
18:51seashells.
18:53I can do this
18:54all day.
18:56If you are just dumb,
18:57I do feel bad.
18:58You don't deserve this.
18:59But if you're smart,
19:01that means your plan
19:02was to dangle your city
19:03like a carrot
19:04in front of a bunch
19:04of gods,
19:05which also makes you dumb.
19:08I'm smart, okay?
19:09I'm incredibly smart,
19:10but you think my dolt
19:11of a husband
19:12wants a smart wife?
19:13No,
19:14so I do this.
19:15Oh, what's a dolt?
19:17And I get to live
19:17in a palace
19:18and be a queen.
19:19I did this
19:20so my husband
19:21would have to actually
19:22be king
19:23and rebuild this place
19:24instead of gallivanting
19:25behind my back.
19:26Are you happy?
19:28No,
19:29not especially.
19:30I've lost interest,
19:31if I'm being perfectly honest.
19:33No!
19:34My closet!
19:35Deliria,
19:36I couldn't do it.
19:37It was awful.
19:38The things they made me
19:39promise not to do.
19:40I am sorry.
19:41It's me
19:42who owes an apology.
19:43I was so driven
19:44by this woman
19:45and her city
19:46that I made you
19:47compromise your very core.
19:49I always enjoy
19:50our apology
19:51foreplay games,
19:52darling,
19:52but this one
19:53really is the ticket.
19:55My very core.
19:56Say it again.
19:57I made you
19:58compromise your very core.
20:04We learned
20:05a valuable lesson.
20:06Did we?
20:07When presented
20:08with an obligation,
20:09avoid it
20:10at all costs.
20:11Well,
20:12we knew that.
20:14Hello there,
20:16friend.
20:16How was the rest
20:17of your night?
20:19Did you two
20:20almost kiss?
20:21Dad!
20:21Ah,
20:22I can always tell.
20:27What day
20:28is it?
20:33Hello,
20:35my darling dearest.
20:36How is your time
20:37at the club?
20:38My,
20:39my city?
20:40No,
20:41your club.
20:42Your special club.
20:44Isn't that what it's called?
20:45A club?
20:46That you have fun
20:47with your friends.
20:49What happened here?
20:50How did this,
20:50I don't understand.
20:51Oh,
20:52I guess you're going
20:53to have to clean it up.
20:54There is good news, too.
20:56We have our very own
20:57God now.
20:59Oh,
21:00salt here.
21:01God of salt.
21:02Oh,
21:02oh boy,
21:03we got a lot of work
21:04to do, huh?
21:04Gotta be honest,
21:05it's my first city,
21:07so I'm gonna be
21:07stumbling through it.
21:08Also,
21:09all I can really do
21:10is salt,
21:10so maybe I can make
21:11some buildings
21:12out of salt
21:13or at least
21:13some statues
21:15out of salt.
21:18Nope,
21:18looks like no.
21:19I'm here for moral support,
21:20though,
21:21if you need it,
21:21and if you need salt
21:23for any reason,
21:24oh boy,
21:25you came to the right place.
21:29He didn't talk much,
21:30does he?
21:31Did you get any of that?