- 2 days ago
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00:01Give me a piggyback ride, Kellen.
00:03Okay, hang on.
00:13Kellen, tell me the stupidest thing you believe this is mad.
00:21The stupidest thing?
00:22That creepypasta's for real.
00:25Wow.
00:26I know, pretty sad, right?
00:29Back in the good old days when I was a stupid little child.
00:33You can't believe it, you can't believe it.
00:34The sales club was covered inside my bedroom.
00:36Guys, the French are real.
00:39There's some good ways to smile.
00:40There's my front camera going on this building.
00:43I don't have enough time for these ones anyways.
00:45I just sort of threw a bunch of...
00:48Just tell me this and tell me that.
00:50It's like those ones that go.
00:51Like, I like hot ones, but they're different.
00:55Tell me when you last peter-pumped yourself.
00:59Now, I got a good answer for this one.
01:02When did I last peter?
01:03Well, the last time I remember actually whooping myself.
01:07Like, when I was like 11 years old, I think.
01:09I just couldn't hold it anymore.
01:11The last time I remember pissing myself was 13 seconds from now.
01:18Can I drink it?
01:20What?
01:21What?
01:22What?
01:23For me, it was a year ago.
01:25I got badly sick.
01:28Probably close the screen, aren't they?
01:30Yeah, probably close the screen.
01:31Yeah.
01:32We're not cooking this.
01:34And no one wants to hear what we're about now.
01:37Tell me your biggest regret besides doing this right now.
01:42No, this isn't my biggest regret.
01:43But if you want, like, my spiciest biggest regret,
01:46I once had a fucking gummy that was so hot for 30 minutes,
01:52I was unable to do anything.
01:53Is it the little nitro?
01:55Is it the little nitro?
01:57Maybe, I'm not sure, but it was fucking spicy as hell.
02:00It was about 10 million scovilles, and I just couldn't.
02:05Well, we got my gummy right now.
02:07We got the gummy right here.
02:13I need four things to eat.
02:15Yeah, the clues, like, getting laid and carried out are all in there.
02:19All right, tell me a really quick where they think you've got to fit in for one press kill.
02:27Yeah, you're right.
02:28I'll just press myself against you instead.
02:37Cringe worthy, eh?
02:39Let's see.
02:42Cringe.
02:42Cringe to all of us.
02:45Big hand.
02:49I know I have to have them somewhere.
02:51I mean, I don't think it's just an acid joke.
02:54You can do those in the broth.
02:55I already did it before.
03:11Oh, like anime.
03:12That's easy.
03:13That's easy.
03:14Pretend to like anime.
03:16For every time he can't or doesn't want to answer, we should take away his water for a minute.
03:20Yeah, we...
03:21Yeah, it's religious.
03:23Well, it's not like the water helps with the spiciness.
03:25It actually makes it worse.
03:26Fair enough.
03:28Tell me an embarrassing gross habit of yours.
03:30Yeah.
03:31Tell me an embarrassing gross habit of yours besides hanging out with us.
03:37Gross habit?
03:40Well, finger in my butt and belly button.
03:43There's a cut out there for a minute.
03:45Finger in my butt.
03:48Tell me an actual fear of yours.
03:54I think it's starting to get to him.
03:55A little bit.
03:56No, it just went in my throat.
03:58I know.
03:59Dogs.
04:00Dogs.
04:01Dogs are because of the ass.
04:03Well, I don't know who you ask.
04:05It's not an irrational fear, right?
04:07But to you guys, it'd be an irrational fear.
04:08Yes, we're all dogs.
04:11Well, I got the dogs.
04:13Well, I mean the large dogs, you know?
04:15Like, not the small yippy ones, but like the fucking monsters.
04:18Dude, the small yippy ones are more dangerous.
04:20I know, but I got my hand bitten by a larger dog.
04:23So that's where that stems from.
04:26Yeah, again, this mark, this little mark on my hand is still there from that.
04:30Damn.
04:31Same as the back of my hand.
04:32You can see like a little like hidden, I think.
04:33I never got attacked by a dog myself.
04:35It was my brother.
04:36I bet a small scary dog.
04:38That is not a real dog.
04:40I never got bit by a dog, but I think I bit myself.
04:43Yeah, this out of like a sheer masochism.
04:48Tell me about your time to really embarrass yourself.
04:53There's a lot of that, you know.
04:55So much adventure, yeah!
04:57Oh my god.
04:59I'm gonna do the side and people watch us do it.
05:02No, there's people when I went into high school, like a few of the people organized them,
05:06it was like, you're that weird who's playing with your toys outside, right?
05:09Some of them use your toys.
05:10That's really what they said, like, oh, you're that one weird who was doing that outside.
05:15I'm like, yep, that's me.
05:16Yeah, that's me.
05:21You still doing that?
05:22No, stop.
05:23When?
05:24Like a month ago.
05:26Just before I came to high school.
05:29I still have a month.
05:31I still have a month.
05:34What was the question again?
05:36Tell me about a time you're bringing the bear to yourself.
05:39I don't know, but there's a lot of that.
05:42Probably probably posting that horse cock dance online.
05:45Oh yeah.
05:46Ba-da-ba-ba.
05:47My shaft is quivering and my balls are turning blue as I think of drinking.
05:55That's not going away from my digital flicker, literally ever.
05:59Oh, so CBT's still, uh...
06:01Oh, CBT's still on there, so the ball...
06:02Eh, that's not that bad.
06:03I just take...
06:04If people know it's a joke, it's just people know it's a joke.
06:07Not in ball torture.
06:08Wick of the year.
06:10Correctly, guess, how many fingers I'm holding up behind me in one of the times?
06:13Just for shits and giggles.
06:15Okay.
06:15I just said, uh...
06:17Uh...
06:17I can probably see it from the camera.
06:19You probably can.
06:20But I'm not going to.
06:21No, you can.
06:22Oh, you can't?
06:23Oh, cool.
06:23Can't see it on the camera.
06:24Well, in that case, I'm going to put myself in the gear.
06:28You're holding up definitely four.
06:31Oh, I suppose you have five.
06:32I, I, I, yeah, I really just went...
06:34Oh, yeah, by the way, by the way.
06:36Damn it.
06:37I was, I was, I was really bumble.
06:40I'm the whole five hand up my ass.
06:43So we wish you could unsee.
06:46Jared gave an answer and it was...
06:48Oh.
06:48Too detailed.
06:49I have, I have one.
06:51I have one.
06:52Oh, my God.
06:56So.
06:57I had a giant tiger.
06:59Me and my mom were searching around, right?
07:02Like, I'm just looking around for like, I think it was like, what, candy or whatever?
07:05Like, food?
07:06I think they had some stuff in there.
07:08What?
07:09What are you doing?
07:10I'm trying myself for the worst.
07:13Oh, right.
07:13Okay.
07:13So anyway.
07:14So there's just also this like, old, like, maker lady behind us, right?
07:18Oh, my God.
07:19So.
07:20I was looking around.
07:21I thought, you know, I had the smartest idea.
07:24You know, just turn around and look to see it like, while I was over there, like, for
07:27clothes and whatever.
07:28I turn around and you bend over and see her crack.
07:32Oh.
07:33Yeah.
07:34Oh, God.
07:35You want to hear something really bad?
07:36You know, my friends at work the other week came back to the apartment and just made some
07:40four or five looks on her face because apparently, on the note, there was some guy who was basically
07:45just wearing a men's sheet and his pants and it was an old guy and she saw him talk.
07:51Oh, that's fine.
07:53I'm just kidding.
07:53A lot of people do, like, bonkers and parking lots.
07:56It's, it's a bit of a problem.
07:58Yeah.
07:59Some dude pissed on the side of her building the other day.
08:02Oh!
08:02Yeah.
08:03My dad was waiting to kick me out and then some dude just fucking, like, went out and just
08:06tried to peed on the side of the fucking building.
08:08Which, like, cow drive is directly behind, by the way.
08:11And, uh, then, uh, in their security plans at their funeral, he went to front of the
08:17door and walked into all the windows and left.
08:19Should've just came around the corner with a pair of scissors.
08:22Yeah.
08:22You know what the price is for that?
08:24It's a, there's, there's, there's, literally, like, it's a strip mall.
08:27There's a bathroom in a, there's free of them.
08:30There's free of them.
08:32There's a bathroom in pretty much every single place along that strip mall.
08:36I don't know how convenient I got a girl.
08:39I, uh, walked to the third bathroom, not the second floor.
08:41I got a bill in the public where everyone could see my little Lenore.
08:44And then I saw someone masturbate at, uh, the fucking, uh, uh, I go to, uh, uh, Dollarama.
08:51I tried covering his door to soften the blow so people wouldn't watch from behind, like
08:55the traffic, but it's Dollarama, so there's windows, so everybody at the checkout could
09:01see just, just this guy.
09:03Oh, yeah.
09:04My one friend once walked into the bathroom when a guy masturbating.
09:07Not in one of the stalls in front of a urinal.
09:14Why?
09:15And you want to have a crazy burp?
09:17There was, there was an old guy that did it?
09:18That guy still comes to Walmart, like, every weekend.
09:23Well, hey, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do as an old guy, right?
09:26No, no, no, this isn't gonna happen.
09:29Well, I just wanted you to try.
09:30Flawlessly say she sells seashells by the seashore.
09:34She sells slurs.
09:35She sells.
09:36That's a seashore.
09:37She sells seashells by the seashore.
09:39So the value of these shells will fall.
09:42And which are the pills you're sick of life?
09:44And which would apply sheldrown?
09:45And which would apply sheldrown?
09:49You can't tell we're all special.
09:51Okay, I have a count.
09:54He doesn't even have a Kelton temperature.
09:55I have a Kelton for you question.
09:59Kelton, I have a question for you now.
10:00Hey, what's up?
10:01Where were you the night of August 4th, 2024?
10:06I don't remember what I heard.
10:07Specifically at 7.32pm.
10:09I'll eat your mom's asshole, honestly.
10:12You wanna play smart guy here, huh?
10:14Dang it!
10:15Give me a real fucking egg.
10:17No!
10:22If you don't have an alibi, that seems really bad for you.
10:25Well, I hear mom's an alibi.
10:33Oh no!
10:34I didn't get out of my license today.
10:37Oh, name, name three, uh, three fruits.
10:42Uh, banana, apple, orange.
10:45I made it more difficult.
10:46No, I made it just made up.
10:48You got the made up, yeah.
10:50Name three fruits.
10:51Carrots.
10:53Eight, nine, yellow fruit.
10:55Or...
10:58Great theme.
11:0010 second theme song for show slash product called...
11:05Um...
11:06What's the product we're gonna go with here?
11:09What about that horse cock dildo?
11:12You have to make a theme song for 10 seconds for a product.
11:17Ohhhh!
11:19Do you wanna sit on anything today?
11:21Do you wanna sit on anything today?
11:23Well, guess what?
11:25Get your horse cock today!
11:28For $2.99!
11:30Man, that's kinda cheap.
11:34Alright.
11:35What's the quality on that?
11:36Like, is it any good?
11:38Probably not.
11:39Three bucks?
11:40No.
11:42It'll be like Star Foam.
11:47That won't go well.
11:50Probably not.
11:50I don't think Star Foam does well when it gets wet.
11:52But hey!
11:53But hey!
11:54Three bucks is three bucks!
11:56Alright, Kellen.
11:57You're almost done.
11:58That's why it's a one-time use.
12:01Alright, I gotta stall this out for two more minutes for recontax.
12:03I only have this much left.
12:05Oh, yeah.
12:06You're good.
12:07Yeah, Ethan.
12:11Yeah, I went for pretty much all of them.
12:14Oh, my stomach's gonna be hitting me during the trip, isn't it?
12:17I'll only do 10 push-ups.
12:21Okay.
12:22Drop the camera.
12:23Alright.
12:28Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
12:37Yeah.
12:37See, I think we count those wrong.
12:40We count when he's going down, but he's going up.
12:43We're gonna be up and ten.
12:46Men.
12:46Yeah, that's literally what I said.
12:48Attention, men.
12:48Attention, men.
12:49Damn.
12:51Attention, men.
12:54Attention, men.
12:56Attention, men.
12:57Attention, men.
13:04Attention, men.
13:06Alright.
13:07Last one.
13:08Last one.
13:09Uh, and you did this yesterday.
13:10I don't see you do it.
13:11Uh, you won the award for biggest life.
13:14Give your second speech.
13:16Oh, dear fucking god.
13:18Oh, Lord.
13:20Hey, at least yours wasn't on camera, Eddie.
13:21Haha.
13:23Come on.
13:23Hey, guys.
13:24Listen.
13:25I just wanted, like, to say that, first of all, all of your cocks are so great.
13:31So, I just wanted to thank you for providing me with your cum, and your, and your balls,
13:35and your long slongs.
13:37Yeah, that shit.
13:38Yeah, Jimmy.
13:39Yeah, you got the best one on all of them.
13:40Duh.
13:40No shit.
13:42And drink right there.
13:43You suck dick.
13:43But that doesn't matter.
13:45Because, you know what?
13:46This is my acceptance.
13:48So, I just want to thank my dad for making me this play.
13:52My mom for making me this play.
13:53My brother for helping me out.
13:55What the fuck?
13:57Wow.
13:57And, uh, my teachers when I was 14 years old.
14:01Oh, no.
14:01But I'll see ya.
14:05Alright, that's the video.
14:06Alright, that's the video.
14:08That's it, that's it.