00:00All right, we go to the phones for the No Sweat News quiz, and would you please welcome Christine from Tintin Falls to the program?
00:08Christine, what's going on?
00:10Happy Friday.
00:11Christine, good morning.
00:13Have you heard all of the No Sweat News segments this week, Christine?
00:19Not one single No Sweat News segment.
00:25Not one.
00:26And did you know that they're available at WRAT.com, Christine?
00:32Yeah.
00:33So it's a big middle finger to the morning rat race today, Christine.
00:37Just go screw yourself, Carl.
00:38That's, you know, just go jump in a lake, Como.
00:43Got Christine's chances today.
00:47That's a fart, Christine.
00:48Oh, listen, Chris, the wind.
00:50That means your chances stink, Christine.
00:51Christine, you're a busy woman, right?
00:53Yes.
00:53You got things to do, right?
00:57You got places to go.
00:58Come on.
00:58Yeah.
00:59No excuses.
01:01You know what?
01:02I kind of like a Genesis account.
01:02Well, let's let her respond.
01:04Yeah, I know.
01:05You know, there's four people here.
01:06Let's go.
01:06We appreciate the lucky, but at the same time, you don't have a-
01:23He lives and works in Tittenfall.
01:24You don't have-
01:25She got a very short drive to work.
01:27At the same time, you don't have a snowball's chance in hell, Christine, because you could
01:33have-
01:33You should have gone to the podcast section, is all my point is.
01:36Let's see how-
01:37Christine, you know you're playing for Smashing Pumpkins Jane's Addiction tickets, right?
01:43Yes.
01:43That's the big news.
01:44If you win these tickets, who will you bring to the show?
01:47Don't say Gotts.
01:51Don't, Monty.
01:51All right.
01:52All right.
01:53Gotts, is your nickname Monty?
01:54Yeah.
01:55You better bring Lady Luck, because that's how you're going to score to these bad boys.
01:59All right.
02:00Christine, pay attention.
02:01I'm going to read you four stories.
02:02You know, three were on the air.
02:03I mean, you didn't hear them, but one I made up yesterday.
02:07Spot the one that's made up, and you're going to the show.
02:10Are you ready, Christine?
02:12I am ready.
02:13All right.
02:13Dateline, California, story number one.
02:15America's first gourmet restaurant for dogs just opened up in San Francisco.
02:21It features only food for dogs.
02:23It's got a $75 tasting menu that includes things like mussels with wheatgrass.
02:29Oh, come on.
02:29Raw filet mignon with fermented cabbage and quail eggs.
02:33Son of a bitch.
02:34Moral of the story?
02:35Yeah, but you see, my dog is a picky eater.
02:37And by picky, I mean that she'll pick literally anything to eat.
02:41We can finally see that adorable little spaghetti and meatball scene from that Disney cartoon come to real life.
02:48That can finally be played out in real life now.
02:51But the meatballs have to be made from Kobe beef imported from Japan.
02:55Dogs are eating better than 90% of us.
02:57It's ridiculous.
02:58All right.
02:59That's story number one.
02:59Christine, now known as Get the F Out.
03:03I am not spending $75 on one meal for my dog.
03:08I don't even do that for my kids.
03:09I swear to God, Christine, that was bullshitzu.
03:13Christine, I'll be here till 10 a.m.
03:16Now, our second story.
03:18No sweat news quiz.
03:19Dateline, New Jersey.
03:21Uh-oh.
03:22New Jersey.
03:23A wanted fugitive applied for a job at a police station in Jersey City.
03:28Uh-oh.
03:28And that's how Zayama Johnson got pinched for the warrant out for her arrest in Pennsylvania.
03:34Oh, no.
03:35Pretty sure she didn't get the job.
03:37Moral of the story, well, at least she can tell her parole officer that she was out looking for a job.
03:42You know, they say, though, if you're going to be good at a field, you got to know about it.
03:48So if you're going to be a good police officer, maybe she's thinking, you know, I should be a good criminal to know how to catch the criminal.
03:55That's story number two, Christine, now known as not smart.
04:00Just not smart.
04:01I mean, stupid.
04:02And our third story for the No Sweat News quiz.
04:05Dateline, Michigan.
04:07Dale Sanderson of West Lake set a new record for the world's biggest jack-o'-lantern.
04:13The giant pumpkin he grew wasn't quite big enough to enter in any weight contest.
04:17It only weighed 1,842 pounds.
04:20Whoa.
04:20But then he realized if he carved it into a decoration, it would beat the size record by 16 inches because Guinness measures jack-o'-lanterns by inches, not pounds.
04:29Huh.
04:30So the world's biggest jack-o'-lantern now measures 224 inches around.
04:35Moral of the story, happy Halloween, everybody.
04:37Well, that's one way to get into spirit.
04:40That's a weird one right there, Christine.
04:42Story number three, now known.
04:43Hey, had he grown a larger pumpkin, he could have both records.
04:46And our fourth and final story for the No Sweat News quiz, Dateline, Japan.
04:53An old lady in Japan got scammed out of $30,000 by a guy in Russia she met online.
05:00Uh-oh.
05:01He said he loved her and wanted to move to be with her.
05:04Oh, that's not bad.
05:05But he needed traveling expenses.
05:07Sure, yeah, that makes sense to me.
05:0830 grand.
05:09Whoa!
05:10Getting the Wonder Woman's invisible jet?
05:13Why so expensive?
05:14Jesus.
05:15Well, he said he was on the International Space Station and needed money to cover rocket costs.
05:20Oh, well, then that makes sense.
05:21I didn't know about the space station thing.
05:23She sent it.
05:24Oh, jeez.
05:25And only caught on when he asked for more.
05:28Well.
05:29Moral of the story, boy, loneliness is a deceptive mistress.
05:32I mean, you know, he was on the space station.
05:35I mean, that's how much an Uber costs from space.
05:38It costs about 30 Gs.
05:40That's an Uber ride right there.
05:41Yeah.
05:42That's story number four, now known as Rocket Costs.
05:45Oh, boy.
05:46You know, Rocket Man.
05:47All right, Christine.
05:48Your mission, since you've chosen to accept it, is to choose a story we made up.
05:51Maybe it's the dog food.
05:52Dog food!
05:54Oh, Christine.
05:54Maybe it's the job at the police station.
05:59Ah!
05:59Perhaps it's the giant pumpkin.
06:01Or perhaps Rocket Costs.
06:04Rocket Costs, burning and the peezle.
06:07Okay, go ahead.
06:07What do you got?
06:08Go ahead, Christine.
06:10I mean, I'm going with number two.
06:11Number two.
06:12What was number two?
06:13Number two.
06:14Hang on.
06:14Let me get to page.
06:15Where's number two?
06:15Dayline, New Jersey, the police station.
06:17Oh, the police station.
06:19The woman who applied for the job at the police station.
06:21Right.
06:21Okay.
06:22Who was a criminal?
06:23Was a criminal.
06:24She had warrants and all kinds of things.
06:26Warrants out for a rest, but still.
06:27All right.
06:28All right.
06:29What about that, Gotts?
06:31Is Christine from Tintin Falls a winner?
06:33Well, Davey Mac kind of called this one.
06:39Christine.
06:40Christine, if every, you know, pro football pick-em challenge game was as easy as to predict,
06:46I'd be getting 16 out of 16s every week.
06:48Terrible, terrible.
06:48I'm sorry, Christine, but you didn't have a chance today.
06:52You know what happens when you don't listen, Christine.
06:55I strongly encourage.
06:56Sorry.
06:57You're a...
06:57You know what?
06:58I'm even...
06:59Just...
06:59Sounds nice.
07:00Please pass my apologies on to Monty, because that poor son of a bitch is out of a concert
07:05too.
07:05God damn, Monty.
07:06Son of a gun.
07:07Even Christine.
07:08The full Monty.
07:10That's what he's getting.
07:11He got no Monty.
07:11Now that guy's gotten the full Monty.
07:14He's what he's gotten.
07:14Monty ain't got no full.
07:15That's a shame.
07:17Christine, WRIT.com has all the podcasts.
07:20When you play in the future, we want you to call back in a few weeks, and then hopefully
07:23you play, but you got to listen to the podcast before you play on Friday.
07:27Here's what we can do.
07:28We can keep going to the phones until we get a winner.
07:31Amen to that.
07:32732-681-3890.
07:34Christine made my head hurt.
