00:00Your future could involve getting to see Nickelback at the Nutcracker Ball at Starland Ballroom
00:05if you win the No Sweat News quiz on Friday. That's cool, right?
00:08Yes, sir.
00:09All right. Today is brought to you by Xfinity. More from them in a second.
00:13Dateline Italy. A cat has been named mayor of a small town in Italy.
00:19A cat, you say?
00:20A cat.
00:21Okay.
00:23Chirabina d'Antino.
00:25Oh, that's a nice name.
00:26In the Abruzio region.
00:28I don't know. That's my fake Italian name.
00:30Oh, oh, oh.
00:31Population 995.
00:34The deputy mayor of town, Matteo DeFabio, swore in the kitty cat, who I believe is Miaio,
00:43into the role of mayor just last week.
00:47So this town's always drunk is what you're telling me.
00:51I'm going to try to read between the lines and say that this nice, beautiful-sounding,
00:57sleepy village in Italy is always, yeah, yeah.
01:01They're always boozed up on the beautiful Cabernet.
01:05Listen, I'm not blaming them.
01:07Could be a controversy hour here, David, because Miaio is owned by Matteo's youngest daughter.
01:14Uh-oh.
01:16Who's that?
01:17Well, Matteo is the deputy mayor.
01:20Oh.
01:20He goes ahead and puts his daughter's cat in as mayor.
01:24I don't know about that.
01:25Okay.
01:26Interestingly enough, it's not the first cat mayor of a town in Italy.
01:29Gravogna Lomagna in northern Italy has a feline mayor since 2005.
01:35Wow.
01:36There it is.
01:37That is nutty.
01:38Now, Dateline Maine for story number two.
01:40A lot of people in the very depths of the pandemic changed careers because they just
01:46said, you know what?
01:47I'm not doing it anymore.
01:49Well, this guy, this guy takes the cake in terms of career change.
01:56Jeffrey Bishop retired from a 25-year stint in law enforcement back in 2021, January of 2021.
02:05Yes, sir.
02:06Right in the middle of the whole you-know-what festival that we were enjoying back then.
02:11Uh-huh.
02:11His new venture, six days later, got busted dealing drugs in a high school parking lot.
02:17Oh, jeez.
02:1825 years in law enforcement.
02:20Oh, my lord.
02:21Straight to the dark side afterwards.
02:23There it is.
02:24He's just gotten four years in prison for his switch in.
02:28Wow.
02:29In careers.
02:30Well, you know, sometimes you want to try new things.
02:33You know, you're like, I want to be up for an adventure.
02:36Yeah, it's an adventure.
02:37I know a quarter of a century of a law-abiding law enforcement officer, but yeah, screw it
02:43all.
02:43Just throw it all to the wind.
02:44Yeah, what the hell?
02:45Now, where's the worst place to sit on an airplane?
02:49In the middle.
02:49Yep.
02:50In the middle of one of those crowded sections.
02:53Came up with your answer just like that.
02:55But now, Virgin Australia is trying to entice people to take the middle seat by launching
03:02a lottery for people who do volunteer to take the middle seat with $230,000 in prizes up
03:10for grabs.
03:11Ooh, I like that.
03:12You can win a trip to the Caribbean.
03:14You can win cash, free flights, hotel stays, the whole thing.
03:18Yeah.
03:18If you just sit in the middle seat.
03:21I like that.
03:22Plus, then you get to meet two people instead of one.
03:26No, I don't do that.
03:28I don't do any kind of meeting.
03:29I just want to watch movies and just, you know, that's it.
03:32Eat a gummy and go to sleep.
03:34That's it.
03:34Well, there you go.
03:36Australia.
03:37Working out the middle seat.
03:39Now, how come they just don't make aisles with two seats and then you never have a problem?
03:45I know they do that in the first class there, but I mean, couldn't we get like four rows?
03:49Because they can fit less people in there.
03:53Yeah.
03:54More seats is more cash.
03:55More cash is the way to go.
03:57Trying to think.
03:58Because they have.
03:59Capitalism.
03:59It's flying to man.
04:01Three.
04:01They have three sections of three seats each.
04:03Why couldn't we do four sections of two rows and then one section of singles?
04:10Don't make me do math.
04:12Don't you know.
04:13I'm trying to think of a way.
04:14Don't you know.
04:15Haven't we learned Carl doing math is not a good idea?
04:18You start me.
04:18You get me splitting up airplanes.
04:20Next thing you know, we're getting plane crashes left and right.
04:23I'm telling you, there's a way to do this.
04:25Why is this plane completely lopsided on the left hand side?
04:28Oh, we could blame Carl and the rat for that.
04:30I'm just saying, we haven't, we have, we've had the same seat layout on airplanes forever.
04:37Why don't we think above that?
04:39Let's come up with new ways to seat people.
04:41Maybe it's a circle.
04:43Maybe a circle.
04:44What are we doing?
04:45A seance on this plane?
04:47I don't know.
04:48I'm just trying to...
04:48Everybody hold hands and sing kumbaya.
04:51Well...
