00:00All right, and all three stories today come from the No Sweat News snack editor.
00:03Oh, someone must be hungry.
00:05You're going to be hungry after you hear this one.
00:08Applebee's leads us off.
00:10They are now selling their own line of lip gloss that tastes like chicken wings.
00:15Why, Applebee's?
00:17Why are you doing this?
00:19I mean, again, we don't need to always cross-pollinate everything.
00:26Because lip gloss, it's nice.
00:29It tastes like chicken wings.
00:30But chicken wings are nice, but we don't need to combine the two.
00:33Because if you're wanting to then eat someone's lips, you're Jeffrey Dahmer.
00:38You see?
00:39This is a gateway drug into cannibalism as far as I'm concerned.
00:44Applebee's new chicken wing flavored lip gloss is called Saucy Gloss.
00:49Saucy Gloss.
00:50There's hot buffalo, sweet chili, honey pepper, and barbecue.
00:53And you can get them all now for $65 as they are partnering with the Lux brand.
01:01$65.
01:02For all flavors.
01:04Hold on.
01:04I can get it for $65.
01:06That's it.
01:07Just $65.
01:08Or I could go to my local chicken place and get, you know, a bucket of chicken for $12 and
01:13just smear the grease all over my lips.
01:16Smear that all over your face.
01:17Save about $50 on that.
01:19Here's my question, though.
01:20Here's my question, after you put the chicken wing flavored lip gloss on your lips, do you
01:25then want to wipe it off?
01:26No.
01:26Because anytime I get chicken wing sauce on my face, I want to wipe it off.
01:30No, you want to eat it.
01:31I don't know.
01:31You would constantly be licking your lips all the time.
01:35It would be, and then that would get, like, other people would be looking at you thinking
01:38you're creepy because you're just constantly licking your lips.
01:42Here's one, here's creepy, ready?
01:44Their marketing slogan for the whole thing is, and I quote, taste my face.
01:51So we're going in the Hannibal Lecter direction.
01:53A little bit.
01:54A little bit.
01:55You were right spot on with your first one, though.
01:57A little bit of cannibalism there.
01:58I mean, come on.
02:00You know, also, I'm sorry, but if you're going to have chicken chapsticks or whatever the
02:05hell that is, I want the damn mashed potatoes as well.
02:09I need some gravy, and then I need to wash it down with an ice-cold beer, all right?
02:15If you're going to make a meal, chapsticks, make the whole thing.
02:18Getting hungrier and hungrier.
02:19For story number two, here's one for the cat lover that I know you are.
02:25The cat food brand Fancy Feast is opening a pop-up restaurant in New York City next week,
02:31and all the food is based on their cat food flavors.
02:34Oh, my God.
02:35So I'm going to put a plate of cat food in front of you and say, bon appetit.
02:39What the hell?
02:40Actually, it's not actually cat food.
02:42It's going to be beso.
02:43There'll be a baked sea bass.
02:45There'll be a salmon.
02:46And there'll be, you know, braised beef.
02:50Oh.
02:51That actually sounds quite good.
02:52So, but it's a legit restaurant?
02:54It's going to be a legit restaurant actually headed up by a Michelin-rated chef.
03:00And it's a pop-up, though, so it's going to be open for like, you know, 16 hours.
03:04Yeah, real quick, in and out.
03:05Okay, I see.
03:06And now we bring you dessert in today's No Sweat News.
03:10A candy company is looking to hire a chief candy officer.
03:14Oh, that's good.
03:15With a $100,000 a year salary.
03:18Yeah, now you're talking.
03:20And anyone over the age of five can apply.
03:23Oh, boom.
03:24Meaning.
03:24I qualify in all those.
03:25Now, it's Canadian dollars, so it's not $100,000 U.S. dollars.
03:30It's about $78,000 U.S.
03:32That's still good.
03:33That's still good.
03:33Your main job will be testing their new candy and giving it a thumbs up.
03:39Oh, my God.
03:39Or a thumbs down.
03:40Please.
03:41The candy company is called Candy Funhouse.
03:45And if you check out their LinkedIn, you will be able to find the application online.
03:50So, if you or your child wants to be a candy taster.
03:54That's perfect, man.
03:55And earn $78,000 a year.
03:57That would, that would, this would be a dream job.
03:59Right here.
04:00You have until the end of the month to apply.
04:02They say the job comes with an extensive dental plan.
