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00:21What are you putting?
00:23Lowest food prices in the whole street.
00:27We'll soon see through that.
00:29How do you mean?
00:30Well, naturally, they're the lowest prices in the whole street,
00:33because it's the only shop in the whole street.
00:36They're the highest in the whole area.
00:38Shut your voice down, can't you?
00:41Your slogans are beginning to lose their bite, you know.
00:44It's all the fault of Nurse Gladys Emanuel.
00:47I can't even remember what a bite is like.
00:52It's very hard work, you know, being an engaged person
00:55and trying to run a business at the same time.
00:58Here.
01:00Your mind tends to wander to other things.
01:14What am I doing?
01:16Your Granville, fetch your cloth.
01:23Oh!
01:28Oh!
01:29Oh!
01:29Oh!
01:37Oh!
01:40Oh!
01:41Oh!
01:50ORCHESTRA PLAYS
02:37Morning, Granville.
02:54Are you still engaged?
02:58Yes, I'm still engaged.
03:01Oh, well, if it ever falls through, you'll know where to find me.
03:05To the Northern Eye Hospital.
03:13Granville, you're a sweetheart.
03:18I don't want you crazy about me out of sympathy, just because I'm blind.
03:32Oh, where are you going?
03:34Just a little query about the nurse's bread holder.
03:37Oh, careful.
03:39Yes, look, supposing somebody sees you.
03:42Good heavens, if you're too engaged for persons can't sort out their own bread holder, what's the country coming to?
04:13LAUGHTER
04:14On the second thought, I think I'd be a bit more welcome of hearing a gift.
04:17I don't know why I can't be a gift.
04:37I think I'm going to give a good advice.
04:37Oh, thanks.
04:37Thank you, Mr. Chow.
04:38Thank you, Mr. Chow.
04:51plastic rolls again it's worth its weight in the grope is this a goal I present it with it which
05:01puts her in a good mood I'd take advantage of that good mood which puts her in a bad mood
05:07she throws it at me I catch it and I'm ready for the next time no not a penny spent
05:14you never know
05:20things might be different this morning are you in there my little sir sleeping beauty a prince
05:35don't be lying in your lonely bed my love there's a couple of hundred way to pure delight out here
05:53what am I doing well what are you doing next the door I'm not next door it's you you fool
06:05you're next
06:10door I was I was just in climbing up here to rescue a little where we're wounded budgie don't panic
06:16now
06:16don't panic I can feel his little hair heart fluttering oh you look as if you might have
06:23got a nice warm place for a little little home that's a creek you just take your little budgie home
06:40oh
06:41oh the poor poor little thing
06:52I can feel his little heart I'm a wish you day shut up grand Will I've
06:59I've had some very disturbing news here.
07:02Oh, yes.
07:02Aaron Boyd's got a £10 a week increase.
07:04Where's he say that?
07:05Where's he?
07:07I wish he'd better pack it in.
07:09It's been one shock after another this morning.
07:15Oh, no, I don't.
07:17Look, go and have a look, will you?
07:19Go and have a look? What for?
07:20Go and see if there's a big flash car
07:22parked outside in the nurse of Gladys Emanuel's house.
07:26Big flash car?
07:27Now, why would there be a big flash car?
07:29Oh, you just go and look, will you?
07:31I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.
07:34No, there is no big flash car parked outside
07:37in the nurse of Gladys Emanuel's.
07:38Oh, well, then, never mind.
07:39There will be soon. He'll come.
07:42Who? Who's coming?
07:44Chalky White.
07:45Well, the Chalky White that was
07:47before he went to Australia.
07:49I think by now he's known as a dirty brown.
07:52He'll need a big flash car
07:54if he's coming all the way from Australia.
07:56Yeah, there he is, looking at the paper.
07:57See that? He's back in this country on a visit.
08:00Just revisiting all the acquaintances, it says.
08:04Yes, he'll be here flashing his money about, no doubt.
08:07I hope he doesn't think he's in for a tour
08:09around nurse Gladys Emanuel as part of his itinerary.
08:14Former local man, Mr. Arthur White,
08:16now a resident of Drongo Springs, Australia.
08:21Drongo Springs.
08:22I bet they don't wear pinnies in Drongo Springs, Australia.
08:26A pom in a pinny.
08:29I'd go down really big in Drongo Springs, I would, wouldn't I?
08:32Well, they can't be, but they're too particular
08:34if they took on to Chalky White.
08:35He was absolutely the dim at school he was.
08:38Well, how come he went to Australia, then?
08:40Oh, it doesn't surprise me,
08:41knowing his knowledge of geography.
08:43He was probably looking for Sir Stoke Newington.
08:47Well, if he's not all that much,
08:48how come he's got you so worried?
08:50Worried? Who says I'm worried?
08:52Well, you've just undone a brand-new clothesline.
08:54What? Oh!
08:56Oh, God, Granville,
08:58that's going to be a hell of a job
09:00to put all that back together again.
09:01Look at it.
09:02For years I haven't even looked at a clothesline, you know.
09:06I don't know, you lead a bit of a blameless life,
09:08then suddenly they find you undoing strange clotheslines.
09:11Come on, Granville, don't lean about there.
09:13Just take hold of this.
09:14Well done, Granville, you are now an accessory.
09:17Shut up and hold still, will you?
09:19Not only are you an errand boy,
09:20but you're now an assistant
09:21to a middle-aged clothesline fumbler.
09:24Here, oh, mind that, that's my fingers there.
09:27Here, why are you wrapping it round me fingers?
09:29Because I can't reach your neck, that's why.
09:32Just don't let it go, please.
09:33I can't let it go.
09:35All right, well, hold it still and tight.
09:37Hold it tight.
09:38It's no good having it slack.
09:39There is no demand these days for such sloppy clotheslines.
09:43Keep it tight, keep it tight.
09:46Pardon?
09:47Oh, no, not you, Gordon.
09:48You can just let it loose like you have done for years.
09:52Do you know, I don't know why I come in here to be insulted.
09:54Well, because it's convenient, isn't it?
09:56Look how far you'd have to go to be insulted
09:58if there wasn't a corner shop here, eh?
10:00You'd have to go right up the co-op, wouldn't you?
10:03Well, what are you doing with that clothesline?
10:06We're changing it to metric.
10:10Aye.
10:11But it's illegal, you know,
10:13to have a clothesline in feet and inches nowadays, you know.
10:15Is it?
10:16Oh, I think ours is.
10:17Is it?
10:18Oh, well, you'd better change it at once, Gordon.
10:21Oh, yes.
10:22They've got the detective vans round, you know.
10:26I'll tell you what, let go, let...
10:27I can't let go!
10:30There you are.
10:31Why don't you have that one, save us wrapping it all up again, won't it, Gordon, eh?
10:34I'm not taking that one.
10:36I want a new one, fully wound.
10:38Eh.
10:39Very shrewd, is Gordon.
10:41And he would have the trouble with Gordon.
10:43I know you from all that, crack.
10:44You'd sell a bag of anything.
10:45Will you go and get Mr Stackpole a brand new wrapped-up clothesline, please, here, Granville?
10:51One pound and forty-five, please, here, Gordon.
10:54And make sure it's metric.
10:58Thank you, Granville.
10:59Will you go and wrap that one up in the manner to which it has become a custom?
11:03One pound and forty-five to take.
11:11There we are.
11:12Oh!
11:14I'll go get you playtime.
11:17Five P changing her, Gordon.
11:18There we are.
11:19Hey, up.
11:20Just a minute.
11:20Don't bother me, please, now, Gordon.
11:22Can't you see him up to here with anxieties appropriate to the engaged person?
11:27Listen, if all we do is stretch this from post to post, what's the difference when it feeds inches or
11:32metrics?
11:32Yes, it's a very good question, Gordon.
11:34I would not like you to leave this shop unsatisfied.
11:37You understand?
11:38Well, it's all right, then.
11:39In that case, I'll have my mummy back.
11:53Hey, Gordon, stay right there.
11:55Hold the line.
12:03Where are you going with them legs this time of day?
12:07None of your business.
12:08Of course it's my business.
12:10I'm engaged to them legs.
12:14What's the matter with you?
12:16You're all on edge.
12:16I think I am on edge.
12:18I've got a man in that shop there who's lost all the sense of civilised behaviour.
12:22Oh, my God.
12:23What's he doing?
12:24Well, he's talking about asking for his money back.
12:29It's about time I had a bit of sympathy.
12:31Not you.
12:32Him.
12:33Does he know what he's in for?
12:36Not yet.
12:38But he will.
12:45What are you looking at me like that for?
12:48Are you sure this journey is for medicinal purposes only?
12:52Where else would I be going dressed like this?
12:54You might be combining business with...
12:57Oh, dear.
12:58I don't even think what you might be combining business with.
13:03I don't know what you're going on about.
13:05It's just that I get this impression that you've been doing yourself up a bit.
13:09Cheeky devil.
13:10You make me sound like a condemned shed.
13:14Well, just you remember, you're my condemned shed.
13:22Oh, she's in a bad mood for an angel of mercy.
13:28I'm glad she's not bandaging anything of mine.
13:37No, I don't believe he's been in touch yet, but he will be.
13:40Who?
13:41Oh, Chalky White.
13:43Chalky White?
13:44Yeah, him.
13:45I went to Australia.
13:46Oh, him.
13:47I went to school with him.
13:47Did you?
13:48He's always a fancied nurse Gladys Emmanuel, you see.
13:51He reckoned she used to look like Jane Russell.
13:54Jane Russell?
13:55Oh, from the side.
13:59Great man for the ladies with Chalky.
14:01Will you shut up, please, Gordon?
14:04Come here depressing people.
14:06Oh, Granville, you've made a very nice job of that, actually.
14:09He's done that well.
14:11You are.
14:13That's not your Granville's.
14:15That's the one I'm returning.
14:16Well, return it then, will you?
14:18Look, why don't you just go home, Gordon, and depress someone near and dear to you?
14:21I think I'm going to have to buy this one myself.
14:25Well, that's the one sale we made this morning, anyway.
14:28Hey, look.
14:29What about my money back?
14:32Granville, give the man his money back.
14:41Oh, it's no good.
14:43It's no good.
14:43I used to get my more pleasure than this out of accounting money.
14:48I don't know what you're worried about.
14:49You're the one she's engaged to.
14:50Yeah, we've never really cemented it, though, have we, eh?
14:54I've done a bit of her pointing up once or twice.
14:59You've got no proof that he's planning to see her.
15:02Listen, he's always her fancy, dear Granville.
15:05Yeah, she's probably forgotten all about him.
15:07Well, then he'll make sure she remembers him, won't he?
15:10Coming round here by brown as a nut doing tricks with his baboo-merang.
15:14Probably by vice versa and all.
15:18I don't know.
15:19I never thought that I'd live to see the day
15:21when you gave somebody his money back.
15:24All right, all right.
15:25Don't worry.
15:26When I get to heaven, I shall be a plea of insanity.
15:29Oh.
15:30All right, I'll go.
15:43There's a chip short here.
15:48Come in, Mrs. Blake.
15:49No, Granville.
15:50I'm not stopping.
15:52I just popped in to inquire if everything's all right.
15:56All right?
15:56Oh, well, you hear such stories.
15:59It's not true, is it?
16:01Is what true?
16:03Now, don't be offended.
16:05I'm only repeating what I've heard.
16:07No, no, go on.
16:08I shan't be offended.
16:09I want you to know that I never believed it personally,
16:12but there's a whisper going around
16:16that he gave Gordon Staple his money back.
16:20Oh.
16:22Oh, aye, that's true.
16:24Oh, I am sorry to hear that.
16:30Is there anything we can do?
16:32No, no, I don't think so.
16:34Thank you very much, Mrs. Blake.
16:36We just, you know, we just have to hope it's going to pass.
16:40Chin up, Granville.
16:48Yes.
16:49It's true.
16:50He gave Gordon Staple his money back.
16:55Elsie.
16:57It's true.
16:59He gave Gordon Staple his money back.
17:02He's given Gordon Staple his money back.
17:14Granville, have you got a pair of eyebrow tweezers there?
17:19I beg your pardon?
17:21Do I look the type who has eyebrow tweezers about his person?
17:25Well, you don't get your opinion or not.
17:27Especially when I'm cultivating this macho look.
17:30You know, I refrain from shaving some days
17:32in order to achieve this aggressive-looking stubble.
17:37And then some clown comes up and says,
17:40Can I borrow your eyebrows or two, Ethan?
17:43Listen, I don't mean your own, but the personal ones.
17:46We sell them here, don't we?
17:47They're on that card over there.
17:49And get me a bottle of iodine and all, will you?
17:51Right.
17:52What do you want them for?
17:53Oh, I just said they nailed on a box of tomatoes
17:56and I've got some splinters in me knees.
17:58Oh.
17:59I didn't think tomatoes had splinters.
18:01I thought they had bits.
18:04Do you want him to be a box around the ears?
18:06Cos I've got a special one in mind.
18:07It's out there for full of splinters.
18:09Oh!
18:10Well, personally, I fully expect to find these rumours
18:13of his strange behaviour much exaggerated,
18:15like his prices.
18:17It's Granville I feel sorry for.
18:19There's nothing wrong with Granville.
18:21Why do you feel sorry for him?
18:22I don't know, really.
18:23I think he's just got that sort of face.
18:26How can you not feel sorry for Granville?
18:28Every time I see him, I just want to cuddle him.
18:30You're not usually suppositive about anything.
18:33It's just maternal.
18:35I think it's just maternal.
18:38How can you tell?
18:40I don't think you can till it's too late.
18:45I find life so complicated.
18:47It is, unless you keep it in its place.
18:50I thought I'd be used to it by now.
18:52Well, I'm not a religious woman,
18:53but I find if you say no to everything,
18:55you can hardly tell the difference.
18:58You think life is something we're given as a test?
19:02I think I've failed.
19:04I used to look up to Mr. Hartwright.
19:06He could handle it.
19:08You can afford to at his prices.
19:09I thought he was unshakable.
19:11And then you hear all these stories about him giving money back.
19:14I don't believe it.
19:15I've got every confidence we shall walk into this shop
19:17and find him just the same as he's always been.
19:24Oh, my God, he's gone completely.
19:35Well, what's wrong with her?
19:37Hey, we missed a couple of customers there, Granville.
19:40You should have had them.
19:41Well, me?
19:42They were only in here a couple of seconds.
19:44Well, yeah, you were nearest, weren't you?
19:45We can't afford to let customers slip through our knees like that.
19:54It's for frightening.
19:56It's a wrist-all, eat it.
20:01It's un-uncanny.
20:04No, it's not.
20:05Un-fresh, maybe.
20:06Un-wholesome, certainly.
20:08Un-canny, never.
20:09Will you shut up about this flaming wrist-all?
20:12I'm not talking about life.
20:14Life's not a wrist-all.
20:17All these years I've worked in the shop,
20:20man under a dog's body.
20:22I've always had me mind on me work.
20:25Even in me and me dad's day,
20:28back there in that old shop in Canal Street.
20:31I've always been spurred on by the profit motive.
20:35Either that or a clip round the ear or a kick up the backyard.
20:40If he were alive today, he'd turn in his grave.
20:44Pardon?
20:47And all because of a lousy Australian.
20:50Talkie Whitey's not Australian.
20:52Eat your wrist-all.
20:53Oh, I can't think of a food at a time like this.
20:57I'm a past caring.
20:59Haven't you done any carrots?
21:01You're past caring, but you're not past cur-cur-carrots.
21:06Well, what kind of a meal is this for a fighting man?
21:09No wonder my morale is low.
21:12A minute ago, you were past caring.
21:13How do you know what I'm a past?
21:16Perhaps I'm a past it.
21:20What?
21:21Past what?
21:22It.
21:24That's what I'm a past.
21:26It.
21:27What about it?
21:28I'm past it.
21:29That's what about it.
21:33Rubbish.
21:35Look, if you're still hungry when you finish that,
21:37I'll open a nice tin of peaches.
21:40Are they Australian?
21:44No, they are Californian.
21:46Oh, well, that's all right, then.
21:48I've always thought there was something strange about them Australians.
21:50I think it's all that we're walking about in the street with them little short trousers on.
21:56Too much air to the brain.
21:59You're just jealous.
22:00Of course I'm, you're jealous.
22:02I've got a right to be jealous.
22:03Men don't like all the men walking around with their knees bare and rat-tat-tatting on their fiancée's knockers.
22:09Go and see if there's a big flash car outside Nurse Gladys' Emanuel's.
22:13Go on, grumpy old.
22:14No, look, I'm sure all your fears are groundless.
22:17Never mind, there's a psychiatry.
22:19Go and have a look.
22:21Oh, heck.
22:34Well, it was all right in your day.
22:37The most the enemy ever had were above a pushbike.
22:42I regret to inform you that your groundless fears have regained a bit of ground.
22:49What?
22:50There's a big flash car outside Nurse Gladys'.
22:54Oh, sure, sure, sure, but dabs.
23:06I'm not getting away with it.
23:08Where's he going to take her?
23:10Whoa.
23:11Could be anywhere, big car like that.
23:14The world's his oyster.
23:15Paris, Monte Carlo, Doncaster, Cattle Market.
23:21Flaming j-j-j-jetset, j-jetset, eh?
23:24Very succinctly put.
23:27Oh.
23:28He could go anywhere.
23:29Well, he's not going anywhere.
23:31How do you know?
23:32Because you are going to let his tires down.
23:36Who, me?
23:38Yes, you, I'll help you.
23:39Come on.
23:40You're going round the bend.
23:42I might be, but he's going to stay right where he is.
23:46I'll give him a Monte Carlo.
23:48Are you ready? It's quite illegal, you know.
23:51Well, get over there. I'll take the b-back.
24:19B-back.
24:48B-back.
25:16Whoa!
25:18You've done it now.
25:19Listen, if it's not his car, who's his it?
25:21If he's flashing around on a big motorbike, old chalky, who owns this car?
25:25How the hell do I know who owns it?
25:31That's who owns it.
25:37He's coming over, he's coming over here.
25:39No, no, no, no.
25:40You deal with him.
25:41Now's your chance to put the Grocers' Federation Plan B into action.
25:44Plan B? I never even knew what Plan A was.
25:46Plan A is to talk the whole thing over her calmly.
25:49What's Plan B?
25:49Make a run for it.
25:50Let's go.
25:53Oi!
25:53Some swine's let all my tyres down.
26:00Ah.
26:01Must have some right little hooligans round here.
26:05Ah.
26:07What do you use your phone?
26:10Ah.
26:11Ah.
26:11Do you speak English, dear?
26:14Ah.
26:17Ah.
26:19Ha.
26:20Ha.
26:20Ha.
26:21Don't like that.
26:23Oh!
26:25No.
26:29No.
26:31Phone.
26:33Phone.
26:33Phone.
26:34Phone.
26:37Phone, phone.
26:39Phone, phone, phone...
26:45That's for nothing.
26:47You're right, you're welcome.
27:19what have you got on arkwright what have you been up to it's not what i've been up to and
27:26got on
27:26it's what you've been up to and taken off that i'm concerned with well where have you been
27:32if you must know i've been on an emergency mission to the mother of an old friend
27:38i saw your old friend i also saw quite a lot of your leg at the same time why them
27:45a motorbike
27:46what's the matter with his car whose car chalky white him with a space helmet that wasn't chalky
27:53white that was muriel orkin's husband muriel's mother's poorly you jealous great idiot you
28:00haven't seen chalky you promise oh i've seen him he called three days ago and i sent him packing
28:06i've never liked him oh god bless you gladys emmanuel
28:14now isn't it time silly old fools were in bed i thought you'd never ask
28:24now night good night sweetheart see you in the morning
28:34good night sweetheart see you in the morning good night sweetheart i'll go grab you without warning
29:02them women all think i've gone daft mrs featherstone certainly thinks i'm daft
29:10that big insurance man with the flash car he thinks granville's daft
29:19yes the world is mad tonight but gladys still belongs to me
29:26if you can call sleeping in different beds belonging
29:30meanwhile there's money to be made arkwright they'll all be trooping into the shop tomorrow
29:35to see if i am mad dad if you're listening up there i am once more in control ready
29:44to hold high the bloodstained banner and pursue the creed of small businessmen everywhere fleece
29:51for every penny they've got
29:58thank you
29:59great
29:59thank you